Discussion Fodder: Movies

Been watching things lately. Movies and shows.

Saw Thor Ragnarok a couple of times over the last couple of weeks. Sure, it’s funny. I liked it. Didn’t love it. I actually enjoyed the second one more, if for no other reason than its audacity for trying to mix genres like it did. Ragnarok … it was fine. I’ll even go so far as to call it pretty good.

But …

Watched Atomic Blonde via the Xbox Video store. Didn’t like it. Wanted to. I loved John Wick, and it was the same guys who did Charlize’s spy flick, but for all the style and all the great fight scenes, the movie just sorta ambled through plot beats and spy cliches.  I literally nodded off in the middle of the movie in that same way you nod off during a church sermon. Soundtrack was spectacular though.

Re-watched Sherlock Holmes (Downey) in fits and starts over the holiday. Still dig that movie a lot.

And by this point, you’re going, “Okay, dude, you watched some stuff. What’re we doing here? You’ve already wasted my 15-second attention span.”

My point is this: Takes a lot to wow me these days, cinematically speaking. I thought after “retiring” from being a film critic for 11 years, I would become more forgiving and less critical. I think I’m actually getting worse. I’m not easily impressed.

Oh sure, there are a lot of movies I like, but so few I love. The last movie I watched in a theatre I loved was Arrival, and that was HOLY SHIT good (that director’s next flick, Bladerunner 2049 was solid, too, but shy of amazing).

No doubt part of the problem is that I’ve reverted back to more of what I liked when I was 16. Give me all the shoot ’em ups, sci-fi and adventure. I’m watching movies to escape, and I want absolute enjoyment and suspension of disbelief.

I am not entertained.

By movies.

Television, well now, that’s something else entirely. Stranger Things 2 was awesome, and provided way more than two hours of entertainment. We’re really digging The Punisher. I finished up The Defenders and Daredevil season 2 weekend before last. And before that there was Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Jessica Jones, Sherlock, The Walking Dead, House of Cards, Bloodline … Still haven’t watched West World or Mindhunters … And then freaking Altered Carbon is coming in 2018. Stoked.

I would rather read and watch, well, Netflix, than go to the movies. There. I said it. Also, I have been known to drive to the AMC, buy popcorn, then drive back home.

I find this all disconcerting and more than a little frustrating. I want fantastic movies. I want to have my mind blown. I want to feel the need to buy the blu-ray so that no one can take it away from me and I can watch it over and over again (still haven’t entirely let go of physical media because I can’t commit to the idea of buying from just one ecosystem …)

Hope isn’t lost. Just like when I was 9 years old, I’m stoked to see the next Star Wars movie, and this morning’s Avengers: Infinity War trailer looked awesome. But will these films deliver? I’m losing faith in their ability to do so.

10-second Reviews of movies from the last year or so:

Suicide Squad: fucking awful. A fourth-grader could writer a better story. And what’s with 45 MINUTES of character intros? Stupid movie. Rented it and wish I could’ve gotten a refund. It’s Battlefield Earth bad.

Wonder Woman: Basically a Captain America: The First Avenger clone with a much lamer ending. Liked the first 2/3 of the film, but they didn’t stick the landing.

Logan: Dug it a lot. Why they waited until the very last goddamn Hugh Jackman appearance as the character to turn him loose is beyond me.

War for the Planet of the Apes: Rented it. Liked it quite a bit for a renter. Andy Serkis is pretty awesome.

Kong: Skull Island: Rented it. Didn’t finish it because I got interrupted. Still haven’t finished it, even though it’s on HBO Now for “free.” I liked Loki as the lead, and was sort of enjoying the movie … but I haven’t felt compelled to go back and finish it.

Blade Runner 2049: Loved it. Villeneuve jumped to my top 5 favorite working directors list.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle: Nowhere near as good as the first one, but not a bad time

Spider-man: Homecoming: They finally got him right. Finally something to scour the Tobey Maguire films from memory.

Life: Surprised me how disconcerting the ending was. I liked it more than I was expecting.

It: R-rated Goonies. Dug it. One of the best “horror” movies I’ve seen. That said, I didn’t think it was all that scary.

Beauty and the Beast: I didn’t see the point. It is exactly the same movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Liked it a lot, didn’t love it. I dunno what it is about Marvel movies now. All of them are pretty good, none of the last handful have been spectacular. Top 5 Marvel flicks in no particular order: Iron Man, Avengers, Captain America: Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1, … Spider-man: Homecoming? I kinda want to put the first Cap movie on here, too, but he’d be dominating the list. We’re going to miss Evans in that role.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword: Charlie still can’t act, but the movie wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. Then again, maybe having properly calibrated expectations was the reason for the “enjoyment” of the film? Whichever, I didn’t hate it. Not calling it good, but I didn’t hate it. I mean, c’mon, Ritchie makes watchable movies.

Hidden Figures: Good flick.

And I think that’s the entire list of movies I’ve watched in 2017. What the hell, man. To go from 80+ a year to this? I should be ashamed.