Think Piece

Saw this quote again last week:

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.” F. Scott Fitzgerald, “The Crack-Up”, Esquire Magazine (February 1936).

That’s one of those off-the-cuff quotes from a known thinker. Someone who sat around and actually spent time with an idea, got cozy with it, learned its quirks and likes. You can’t do that without putting in the time.

Can you stay with an idea long enough to refine it, to examine it from all sides? I’m not so sure I can.

The lack of an ability to focus and stay there for a time frustrates me. I can’t stand it that I sit at my computer and have to chase my brain down like a curious toddler. It takes me longer to do work than it should because my brain can’t sit still.

I started a short story around the holidays about two kids breaking into a wizard’s house. It’s half finished. Got Squirreled, then I started lamenting the fact that, again, I got squirreled, and then it became this monster clothed in a word doc and it sits there undone. Every time I open it, I start revising. Fucking revising …

Part of the problem is that it’s going to require me to spend some time thinking. I need to think about the characters and let that inform what happens next. But maybe I didn’t do that earlier in the story because the plot idea sounded good …

And there you go. Squirreled again. I didn’t come here to write about writing, but thinking. Our brains are already like a sack of cats, mine is anyway, and then we drag decision fatigue into it.

Read this article yesterday about that, decision fatigue … I just went to look up the article, got distracted by my Discord tab in my browser and caught up on chat reading, then I looked up and couldn’t remember what in the hell I left this … column … for in the first place. Oh yeah, it was to review that article about decision fatigue.

God. Dammit.

Found the article. Read it (again), but this time, I followed some of the research links, and they are fascinating. One of them suggests breaks are vital to staying focused. Another even suggests the perfect work/rest formula (52 minutes on, 17 minutes off).

Wait, so not staying on mental task is vital to staying on task? The hell … thinking without thinking? Did we just transition to Eastern philosophy?

I have this need for the breakthrough. Ideas excite me. Coming up with a creative solution to a problem is probably my favorite thing to do. Can you get paid for that? …

Perhaps, at the end of the day, it’s about your connection to and your level of interest in the thing you’re thinking about. Maybe your ability to think is directly tied to your (sigh) engagement with the thing.

I get frustrated with my lack of time to explore the things that energize my brain. I’m frustrated with the fatigue I feel when I do have the time to think about better things (though fatigue is allegedly good for creativity). My days, like yours, are wrapped up in being “productive,” and I’m still not convinced that’s the best way to spend a life. I’m not convinced we’re doing this right.

Something to think about, I guess.