The Law of Unintended Movie Mondays

• What is happening.
• That’s more rhetorical as I’m not really asking.
• I don’t expect you to answer, but a greeting of some sort on a Monday morning seems … proper.
• I’d ask you if you were sitting in my office. Or if we were sharing a phone call.
• Or a Teams chat.
• Holy cow, Teams.
• I still love Teams. Best collaboration tool I’ve ever used professionally.
• Don’t call me on my phone. Call me on Teams, is what I’m saying.
• And by call, I mean send me a chat message.
• Talking is the worst.
• Watched Reminiscence Saturday night.
• Meh.
• Trying too hard to be sci-fi Chinatown.
• Makes me wonder if Noir is dead.
• Setting was awesome. Characters were fine.
• Movie was meh.
• Someone gave me a hard time last week.
• They said something like, “You went from movie critic to ‘it was okay.’”
• After doing the movie critic thing for 11 years, I quit cold turkey.
• I debating coming back to it.
• Even started a blog.
• Reviewed like, two, maybe three movies on the blog.
• Quit again.
• Film criticism seems outdated and unnecessary.
• I wrote my Master’s thesis on film critics, mind you.
• But it’s hard to compete with a Rotten Tomatoes rating.
• Film criticism has been democratized.
• I think if there are any viable film critics left out there, it’s only because people like them for their voice.
• And it trips hard into gatekeeping.
• “If you don’t like such-and-such movie, you clearly don’t know anything about movies.”
• Bah. Watch whatever you want. Like whatever you want.
• If you need an opinion before you commit, find someone you know who has similar tastes.
• I have managed to get the Teenager turned onto movies other than Marvel recently.
• I employed Mr. Hanks, showed her The Terminal and Catch Me If You Can back-to-back.
• Last night, she said, “Hey, let’s watch a movie.”
• The wife and I were stunned because she either doesn’t want to watch movies, or only Marvel movies.
• “Okay, what do you want to watch,” I said.
• “I don’t know. You pick. You’ve done a good job picking movies lately,” she said.
• …
• …
• So I threw on The Adjustment Bureau (which is not Tom Hanks, obviously, but we’d talked about watching Stillwater all weekend, so a Matt Damon flick the kid might watch seemed in order.)
• Movie Monday, I guess.
• Before we get past that, however … Tom Hanks has made a truckload of good movies.
• He is a national treasure.
• You guys follow his socials, right?
• Totally would have dinner with Tom Hanks.
• I really, really did not mean to only write about movies today.
• Gonna be a hot week.
• Do your exercise indoors?

Disclaimer: I write these for work. Figured I’d get some extra mileage out of them. But some of it won’t make sense here. What you gonna do? Edit? Pssh.