The Lost City of Ice Cream Men

The Lost City of Ice Cream Men

• Sunday evening, we were talking about going to see The Lost City, and I suggested if the Teenager had no homework on Monday night, we could go then.
• She didn’t. We did.
• It was alright. Not as funny as I expected. Sorta by the numbers toward the end. But I’d still watch most Sandra Bullock movies sight unseen.
• She’s been consistently good her whole career.
• Anyway, we had our post-game conversation on the way home, and it went … astray.
• The (W)ife: “I liked it, but I always like those adventure movies where they’re searching for something.”
• (M)e: “I thought Daniel Radcliffe was really good in it. Not a trace of Harry Potter.”
• The (T)eenager: “What’s that mean?”
• M: “Well, if he’s going to get back into big movies, he has to not be seen as Harry Potter, otherwise he’s just Mark Hamill.”
• T: “Who?”
• M: “None of those Harry Potter kids ever has to do anything again if they don’t want to.”
• W: “You got that right.”
• T: “Why?”
• W: “They made crazy money acting in those movies.”
• M: “Did you know Rupert has an ice cream truck he just drives around and gives out free ice cream?”
• T: “Who?”
• W: “Ron.”
• T: “Oooh, Rupert. That’s weird.”
• W: “That’s creepy.”
• T: “Why is that creepy?”
• W: “I don’t know. Grown men driving around in vans selling ice cream to children. It’s just creepy.”
• (You’ll remember they’re into reading Muuuuuuurder books right now.)
• W, to the Teenager: “Maybe that can be our first book. The ice cream man murderer.”
• M: “But what if he’s not creepy, just misunderstood. He’s just a lonely dude driving around in his rickety ice cream truck and no one will take his ice cream.” And then I thought about a picture book with a lonely ice cream man driving around in his truck unable to find any kids to buy his ice cream.
• Maybe some Dr. Suess-style illustration
• W: “Because he’s a creepy dude in an ice cream truck.”
• And then they sort of said a flurry of things about ice cream truck murderers I didn’t follow because I’m half-deaf and was trying to drive.
• Thing is, it made me kinda sad, because some of the happiest moments in my childhood revolved around tearing through the house trying to find enough loose change to buy an ice cream sandwich.
• You’d hear the music and feel an instant blast of panic and elation.
• Was it too late? Did you miss him? OMG ICE CREAM.
• And the Doppler effect made it seem like he was both close, but far.
• Sure, as a grown up, I can see the whole creepy clown music/pied piper angle to it all.
• But as a kid … those were the best ice cream sandwiches ever.
• Still are, according to my addled memory and a healthy dose of nostalgia.
• Prior to the whole ice cream murderer bit, the Teenager admonished me for not telling her the movie had credits-scenes like a Marvel flick.
• T: “You’re supposed to tell me these things!”
• M: “Why? How would I know a non-Marvel movie has credit scenes.”
• T: “Lots of movies do it now! They’re copiers!”
• M: “Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, right?”
• T: “It’s your job to tell me!”
• M: “No, now it’s your job. You have to look these things up.”
• T: “Noooooo.”
• So we’re a little weird, is what I’m saying.
• As an experience, was really kind of fun going to the movies on a school night.
• Crowds weren’t bad, and it was a nice cap to the end of a Monday.
• Always good to mix things up, right?
• Have a Wednesday.