- I wasn’t supposed to do one of these on the weekend, but I’m up before everyone and have nothing else to do.
- I’m becoming a morning person because of those goddamn animals.
- Ginny, the fluffy white cat, wakes us up every day now.
- Damn her.
- Anyway, while walking around taking my nine meds …
- 10?
- (AP Style is numbers are spelled out until you get to 10, then you use the numbers. FYI.)
- … while walking around taking all my meds, I was thinking about why I write.
- It has to be some sort of affirmation, right?
- Oh, guys! Look at me! Look at what I did!
- Only there’s this part that would be doing something like this even if I did not show it to you.
- I have journals.
- I have shitloads of fiction I’ve never shown anyone.
- It’s odd, is what I’m saying.
- I have something to write about movies.
- Because, duh.
- There is so much shit out now.
- I used to reference Sturgeon’s Law, which is: “90 percent of everything is crap.”
- I feel it’s higher.
- Or filmmakers have regressed.
- You know, if you know me, I served as film critic/editor for Urban Tulsa Weekly for 11 years.
- I wrote more than a million words about movies.
- And then I wrote my Master’s thesis on film critics.
- I’m to this point in life, based on conversations and the Internet, where I really do not share my opinions about films anymore.
- Like I had a guy go on and on about how great The Substance was, how Demi deserved her Oscar, blah, blah, blah.
- No.
- No it was not. No, she did not.
- It looked like it was shot by amateurs (and don’t get me started on that; like how in the fuck does The Wheel of Time look like a really damned expensive TV show? How is that possible? They’re literally wrecking the books and it looks like it was shot by film school students. Raiders of the Lost Ark has better cinematography than most crap I see today).
- … it’s like movie Tourette’s.
- I’m scared to watch the Best Picture winner this year because of this.
- Because from the trailer, it looks awful.
- Hopefully, I’m wrong.
- But in any case, the bar is low now.
- I see people complain about Marvel flicks, and while I do feel their quality has dipped a bit since Avengers: Endgame, I’ve liked a handful.
- The Internet wants us to be tired of them, to hate them.
- I don’t see it.
- Judge each film on its merits.
- But the crap I see written about movies these days is a bunch of assholes with agendas.
- Hell, it’s probably even AI or AI-assisted.
- I’m sorry, but if you’re a journalist and you’re using AI to “help” you with op/ed pieces, you are a giant sack of crap.
- Which brings us back around to … stop listening to people on the Internet, including me.
- It’s why I will not really review a movie anymore.
- You want to chat about movies, DM me.
- Or, fuck, I’ll start a Discord server and we can sit and talk movies all the time.
- Lemme know.
- What else?
- The swelling in my face is going down.
- I’m not talking about the zipper on my head, either.
- I’m talking about all the swelling I had from the … infectious disease, like the stuff around my eye and in my cheek bones.
- My head is noticeably thinner.
- OMG the antibiotics are working.
- Yes, I’m still dizzy.
- Yes, I have an IV in my arm for another five weeks.
- Yes, my jaw is probably crooked for the rest of my life
- But … this shit may be dying in my dome.
- Hallelujah, pass the coffee.
- I cannot have a drink until I’m off the antibiotics.
- I’m not an alcoholic, but I’m dying for a rye whiskey.
- That’s a whole other conversation.
- You kids have a good Sunday.
- Maybe we can talk about Thunderbolts later today.
- Hope you have a pocket full of sunshine.
- Disclaimer: I’m not actually mad. #truth
Catching a Sturgeon
skepticlysm 
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