skepticlysm

Author: Skeptifist

  • GD Ewoks

    GD Ewoks

    • Order!
    • Have some housekeeping this morning.
    • Corrections, more like.
    • First, it was a ’70-and-a-half Camaro, not a ’71.
    • Second, I left out a ’69 Impala, “The Whale.”
    • Ahem.
    • We’re here today because I ended up making a list in my journal with an ink pen this morning while I drank my coffee.
    • Unintended. Unavoidable.
    • I’ve been writing Thank You cards this week.
    • You people have blown my mind.
    • Joyce, thank you for the quilt.
    • I’m going to keep dropping in minor Brain updates.
    • You’ll get tired of it.
    • But here’s the thing.
    • The crazy surgery with the crazy scar?
    • It was a biopsy.
    • Yeah, they removed some of the mass, but there’s still a lot in there.
    • It’s wrapped around my optical nerve, my jugular vein.
    • It’s in my sinus cavity.
    • They can’t just go in and scoop it all out.
    • They have it narrowed down to two things, and it’s a chicken-and-egg situation.
    • There’s a pathogen in there that infects a cell and then coats it in slow growing fibrous tissue.
    • Then there’s the immune system response, which includes massive inflammation, which is where all the pain has come from.
    • They have to tackle both of these things.
    • The crazy antibiotics I’m on (two, btw) attack the pathogen.
    • There’s an immune-suppressant treatment coming for the other, which I assume is infusions.
    • We have done all these Mayo trips to get to the treatment part, to rule out cancer.
    • To have a path.
    • We’re on the path.
    • Imma keep on with life because … Do Not Go Gentle.
    • And I’ll get back to not talking about it.
    • Hardwired.
    • But when it pops up, well, the War is ongoing.
    • Right now, I’m sitting on the couch with Kaia, Return of the Jedi playing on the TV because I’m waiting on Steph to watch Andor and did not want to waste cycles thinking about what to put on.
    • Kaia’s informed me tomorrow is “Donut Day.”
    • Who am I to argue with that?
    • It does mean I have to get my ass up and drive to the donut store at 7 a.m. or we’ll miss out on the good stuff.
    • Her order: donut holes and … whatever.
    • Used to be glazed and chocolate.
    • Now there’s a maple bar thrown in there.
    • Maybe a “pink” one.
    • The other day, she was craving a cinnamon roll … in the afternoon.
    • You can’t just go get a good cinnamon roll any old time.
    • And really, there are just two places in Tulsa to get them:
    • 1) Blue Moon
    • 2) The Savoy
    • We keep trying them other places, but …
    • Blue Moon, man.
    • That’s still my favorite breakfast place in town.
    • Not even close.
    • Been craving it for months at this point.
    • (Awkward segue)
    • Cory, what ink pens are you talking about?
    • Well, guys, I’m talking about the Everyman Grafton Pen.
    • I traipsed around the edge of that whole “everyday carry” man movement.
    • Knives, pens, bags … I dunno, it’s weird, but there are multiple subreddits dedicated to it.
    • I settled on one knife, and this one pen.
    • Because I can refill the pen with a Pilot G-2.
    • The Graftons are heavy, but they feel right in my hand.
    • You people still write by hand, right?
    • Also, you can do the Jason Bourne stuff with the Grafton.
    • The year before the Pandemic, we started journaling as a family.
    • I realized if I wanted to reread anything I needed to change my handwriting.
    • I bailed on cursive in seventh grade and always wrote with this weird hybrid print/cursive thing ever after.
    • It sucked.
    • So I switched to something closer to architect writing you’d see on a blueprint.
    • It’s not that clean, but it’s a helluva lot better than it was.
    • I’m weird, man.
    • What you want?
    • Back in Vollertsen’s creative writing class, he had us get a subscription to Harper’s, and my favorite part of it was the Harper’s Index at the back.
    • Which was … an entire List of facts.
    • The seeds of my current nonsense were planted in the ‘90s.
    • God, the Ewoks suck.
    • George got tricked by business.
    • Catering to the children.
    • Cut all that Ewok shit out of Jedi and you might have something closer to Empire.
    • Even as a kid, I did not need militant teddy bears added to my space wizardry.
    • In those years, it was all about the ships, the blasters, the lightsabers, and the gd Jedi mindtricks.
    • The Force.
    • Standing in my bedroom trying to move one of my two action figures with my mind.
    • …
    • You know you did it.
    • Next week, we’re getting into G.I. Joe and Snake Eyes.
    • I’ve said this before, but that first season of Stranger Things … that was my junior high crew.
    • We could be the Goonies.
    • I have enough stories to fill a book.
    • I don’t write them because my memory is not the same as everyone else’s, and those are not stories I want to defile.
    • My memory is for shit is what I’m saying.
    • Still.
    • Nostalgia’s trying to inhibit my brain function.
    • Or it’s my current coping mechanism.
    • Whichever.
    • This has gone on long enough.
    • It’s one of the last three or four beautiful non-scorching days until Fall.
    • Get out there.
    • Get off the couch.
    • All I’m cleared to do currently is walk, so … I guess I’ll go for a walk in the pockets full of sunshine.
    • With a hat.
    • So I don’t scare the neighborhood kids.

    I got that Ewok pic from a Google Search. Looks like someone’s dog was photoshopped/AI’d into an ewok costume. I do not claim credit for the pic, nor am I making any money from using it. I didn’t want to look that hard for a photo, and that was the path of least resistance. Though I did have to change the file name to jpg. Freaking internet.

  • Radical Cam, Bro

    Radical Cam, Bro

    • Engines.
    • Kelli, your observation (wherever it was … Steph’s music post, maybe?) has been bouncing around my brain for weeks.
    • OMG I love the sound of a finely-tuned growly motor.
    • That deep rumble soothes my soul in a similar but different way as waves crashing onto a beach.
    • A rumbly V-8?
    • Hells yeah.
    • Gender difference?
    • Generational difference, too?
    • Kids these days aren’t growing up with motors that audibly (and sometimes physically) shake the earth.
    • Mark and I went to lunch before the surgery, and I got to ride in his monstrous V-8 1990 Chevy truck.
    • Religious experience.
    • I miss it so much.
    • I would become a lab experiment for the Mayo to own a muscle car again.
    • Oh, wait …
    • My email has a plethora of newsletters from those dudes who sell raffle tickets to their latest restored muscle car or Porsche or whatever.
    • That’s been something I’ve struggled not to get neck deep in.
    • “Yes, I want that restored 1968 Chevelle with an entirely upgraded motor and twin turbos.”
    • And then I drool on my keyboard for like 15 minutes reading the specs.
    • My car can fuck itself.
    • Currently.
    • And I love that car, but the last three months … gfy, WRX.
    • At least back in the V-8 days, I could kinda work on it myself.
    • When I open the hood of the Subaru, it’s like, “Yup, that’s a motor. Pretty sure.”
    • You know why I love it?
    • Three reasons.
    • 1) It’s black, tires to roof.
    • 2) Six-speed manual transmission.
    • 3) It rumbles.
    • It isn’t fast, not really.
    • But it’ll be with me for a long time now.
    • Which is fine.
    • I debate teaching Kaia to drive it.
    • She hates driving as it is.
    • Throw the manual transmission in there …
    • She might destroy it.
    • And our sanity.
    • This one’s definitely a generational thing.
    • I knew how to drive by the time I was like … 11.
    • I wanted to drive.
    • I loved to drive.
    • Kaia and a lot of her generation, from what I understand, do not give a F about driving.
    • Don’t like it.
    • Don’t want to.
    • Blaming social media again here.
    • Way easier to self-isolate.
    • I mean, hell, Pryor and I stole my mom’s station wagon when we were 15-and-a-half, drove to Prattville, got pizza, and drove home.
    • (Sorry, Mom!)
    • Yes, I drug my feet a little getting my DL.
    • But once I did …
    • And the gang was all-in on muscle cars.
    • I had the ’67 Camaro.
    • Mark had an assortment of cars, including a ’69 Camaro that was scary to ride in.
    • We (the gang) also had a ‘65 LeMans, a ’71 Camaro, and a Ford Galaxy (60-something; the years are hazy to my mangled brains).
    • Rumbles as far as the eye could see.
    • (Not the Galaxy; it was the group slow-poke. Looked pretty, though.)
    • Loved all those cars.
    • If I won the lottery …
    • Cars.
    • I’d have like four or five.
    • Not like Jay Leno or anything.
    • Though I’d hate driving them in Tulsa, soooooo.
    • Cars and beach vacations.
    • And school for the rest of my life.
    • And helping people.
    • Maybe teaching.
    • I have a master’s degree; teaching communications at a community college would be fucking amazing.
    • What else you going to do with that thing?
    • That’s the plan, lottery or not.
    • Except now it would probably be teaching AI prompts, the newest way to mass control group thought!
    • We’re living in the sci-fi future, only it lacks style because of corporate profit drive.
    • Too many non-creatives steering the ship.
    • About that beach vacation …
    • (Coming back around again …)
    • My beach thing is Steph’s fault.
    • (Yeah, hell with it. I’m going with names.)
    • I did not really grow up with vacations.
    • I always thought they needed to be to a city or Six Flags or something.
    • Never would’ve put a beach on the list.
    • Now?
    • I’d prefer almost only beaches, and ones accessed through all-inclusive resorts.
    • Because I want to go sit, sip a drink, listen to the ocean, and fantasize about pirates.
    • No, really.
    • Though colder beaches are fine, too.
    • There’s been nothing calmer in my life, except for a Xanax, than a beach.
    • I can’t really put it into words.
    • I would live in a shack and sell t-shirts to be on a beach.
    • Maybe that’s the actual plan.
    • If I had a plan …
    • Dreams aren’t plans.
    • A chasm exists between the two.
    • Any tips on building that bridge are appreciated.
    • In one of my group texts this morning, someone posted a picture of a beer … from his vacation in Greece.
    • It also featured a phallus-shaped bottle opener, because virility is a thing in Greece?
    • Imma pass on the opener, but that beer looked delicious.
    • So.
    • Drink one for me this weekend, okay?
    • If you have more than one, well, that’s on you.
    • High five. Let’s move the ball … into a pocket full of sunshine.

  • The Perfect Drug

    The Perfect Drug

    • Woke up during the 5 o’clock hour this morning.
    • As has been the case for about the last 10 days.
    • Gross.
    • Left the room so as to not wake up the Wife, and also because I had to entertain Ginny, who’s decided food and pets need to be with the sun schedule.
    • Obviously.
    • Also obviously, I scrolled the phone.
    • A clip from NIN’s “The Perfect Drug” video popped up.
    • I’d never seen it.
    • Frankly, I haven’t really seen many music videos since the ‘90s.
    • Trent, that’s some goth weirdness you had going on.
    • To be expected, sure.
    • Still.
    • Now I’m sitting here on the couch injecting myself with my IV antibiotics.
    • Well, I was.
    • Can’t type and inject at the same time.
    • But at the time I was listening to Further Down the Spiral, which is excellent NIN.
    • Still am.
    • Listening to that.
    • But while I was … shooting up, the Wife goes, “Do you feel like a druggie?”
    • “Yes. Yes I do. Did you know I’m taking Nine pills every morning?”
    • “That sucks.”
    • “Yes, yes it do.”
    • You know, a PICC IV would make it easier to be a druggie.
    • More hygienic.
    • Something.
    • I guess?
    • I have no experience in that arena.
    • But the real question … when do I get the damn thing out, and what’s that going to feel like, because they put up a big curtain when they put it in and did not let me watch.
    • Not that I wanted to.
    • I’ve gotten used to a lot of things, but I still don’t like to watch.
    • I used to be horrified of needles.
    • This one time, I had to go get a steroid shot in the backside for poison ivy.
    • The Wife and nurse thought I was going to pass out.
    • Now?
    • Now I could write like a Michelin Guide to nurses drawing blood for labs.
    • “Required multiple attempts and had to tag out. 3/10.”
    • In the hospital three weeks ago, one of the nurses asked me where I wanted a shot.
    • I was like, “Yeah, I don’t care.”
    • Acclimatization.
    • Now playing: NIN, “Eraser (Denial: Realization)”
    • One of my favorite remixes of any song ever.
    •  And then “At the Heart of It All.”
    • Again, do I share the Spotify links in the comments?
    • Do I hunt it down on Amazon?
    • Youtube?
    • Do I leave it up to you?
    • (We all know how that’ll go.)
    • (Heh.)
    • Gonna be an Industrial kinda day.
    • What I want is for NIN not to score Tron, but to score AppleTV’s Neuromancer.
    • Holy shit I cannot wait for that.
    • Last year, I reread all of William Gibson’s books.
    • He’s like a sci-fi prophet blending of Hemingway and Elmore Leonard.
    • Basically that’s who I would want to become if my life had let me write books instead of articles and ad copy.
    • (Regret is a helluva drug.)
    • Seriously, if you go read the trilogy that started with Neuromancer your brain will melt with all the shit he wrote that’s happening RIGHT NOW in society.
    • Considered NOT writing a list today.
    • Not because I don’t want to.
    • It’s the why of the thing.
    • Honestly, I hope these are entertaining.
    • That’s the goal here.
    • I have to write.
    • You need to read something other than memes and propaganda.
    • Don’t get me wrong, I could write a whole list about all the bullshit I see.
    • I’ve even considered doing it.
    • Nothing but headlines of shit, all cut-and-pasted in one place.
    • Just to prove how much crap we’re consuming.
    • Your brain reads headlines faster than your consciousness does.
    • You are imbibing nonsense.
    • We all are.
    • I’m including myself.
    • So that’s my List goal.
    • To give your feed something … real?
    • I dunno.
    • To break the stream of bullshit with … what social media started out hosting in the first place.
    • It has become crap, destroyer of brains.
    • And hope.
    • I should not have to dig to find posts from my friends and family.
    • Though if you read some of Zuck’s bullshit statements last week, you can expect 90% of your social posts to be dialogue with AI in the near future.
    • What a wonderful world.
    • I’m ready, I think, for that house in Norway on the lake that’s only free of snow like three weeks a year.
    • If I won one of those $1 billion lotteries, I’d build or buy a village and start a compound.
    • (No, there would not be spiked Kool-Aid.)
    • You know, like Elon’s dumbass company town without all his stupid horseshit.
    • Language!
    • (Sorry, kids. You know me. I do the best I can when I’m at work. But I’m not at work currently, soooooo …)
    • The other night, coming back up the driveway from taking the trash out, my skull clicked with every step.
    • Gnarly.
    • I have never had a broken bone.
    • (Maybe a toe, but I never went to the doc to confirm.)
    • So the skull thing … new to me.
    • Clicky clacky.
    • No, it has not done it since then.
    • But it reminded me bones don’t heal in two or three weeks.
    • I guess that’s why I can’t exercise for another … ugh, 3-4 weeks?
    • Yeah.
    • Oversharing Thursday!
    • Out.
    • Gotta water some veggies.
    • Because of that stupid sunshine.
    • Pockets of it.

  • Poorly Drawn Bullet Points

    Poorly Drawn Bullet Points

    • Watched a bunch of Andor season two yesterday.
    • Such a damn pretty show.
    • Which got me thinking about the shitshow that is The Wheel of Time.
    • I know, I know.
    • I’ve been rereading some of it.
    • So the discrepancies between the two are … vast.
    • More than that, however, you can tell Amazon threw money at WoT, but … it’s all terrible.
    • The writing is bad.
    • The characters have been made two-dimensional.
    • It looks like it was shot by amateurs.
    • I finished season three of The White Lotus, and that is the most beautiful show I have ever seen.
    • Andor is also beautiful.
    • They both look like they were made by film professionals, not streaming-TV crews.
    • Like, did no one tell the WoT crew how to frame a bloody shot?
    • Hell, they don’t even seem to know the Rule of Thirds.
    • And the lighting is crap.
    • It’s all crap, is what I’m saying.
    • Hi!
    • (Waves hand)
    • Do we actually talk Andor?
    • Not yet.
    • I’m only three episodes in, so … we’ll wait.
    • Books, right?
    • So much slower this year than last, and I’m doing a shit job of writing down what I read.
    • I’ve read four or five of those Dungeon Crawler Carl books by Matt Dinniman.
    • Four?
    • Maybe I’m on book five.
    • Either way, they’re fun.
    • LitRPG is bizarre to me.
    • That the genre even exists.
    • I’ve read two series so far.
    • Cradle by Will Wight and Carl.
    • Carl has blown up.
    • It’s like dramatization of a D&D campaign, only the setting is different every book.
    • And there’s a talking cat.
    • They’re fun.
    • Disposable.
    • I’m taking a break with The Wheel of Time.
    • Books three and four, then I’m out on that for awhile.
    • That series is … daunting.
    • Fourteen books of 700-900 something pages each.
    • I reread the whole series back in ’21.
    • Started in April, finished in June, reading nothing else in between.
    • Was a good time.
    • I read them as they came out, which was challenging.
    • That was my first “waiting desperately for the next one” experience.
    • For books anyway.
    • In real life, that was probably the gap between The Empire Strikes Back and The Return of the Jedi.
    • Mom got me out of school early on the last day of sixth grade to go see Jedi.
    • I think it was sixth grade.
    • … I don’t want to look it up and do the math.
    • Braining is hard at the moment.
    • I think all the surgery drugs wore off finally and now my body is fighting to repair the skull hole and killing whatever the “thing” is at the same time.
    • Resting HR is up about six, seven points.
    • Sleep is for shit.
    • Healing fatigue sucks.
    • But … healing.
    • YOLO!
    • We talk about music in here a lot.
    • Delivery of said music, however …
    • I have a pair of Pixel Bud Pros.
    • I cannot live without them at this point.
    • First, I can’t wear any of my over-the-ear headphones right now because they smash my brains.
    • Necessary.
    • But also, these things have fantastic noise cancelling and work amazingly on Zoom and whatnot.
    • They can connect to two devices at once.
    • They actually have bass.
    • I wish I got paid to shill for this stuff.
    • Coming soon.
    • This recovery life … I gotta admit, I need to figure out how to get paid to live this way.
    • Get up. Have coffee. Write. Have lunch. Write some more.
    • Yes, I write for a living.
    • But there’s a gulf between that and what I’d rather be writing.
    • These lists are a bridge for sure.
    • They have saved my mental/professional life.
    • Which gives us another segue.
    • Maybe.
    • Have you read the research on the four-day workweek?
    • No loss of “productivity,” fewer taken sick days, an increase in contentment and happiness in the workforce.
    • Not here in America, mind you.
    • …
    • I can’t end this thing on a rant, so I’m going to stop there.
    • Stop buying into the bullshit.
    • Okay.
    • Where was I?
    • (Consults the notebook …)
    • (Yes, I actually made a list for the List today.)
    • (The hell is the matter with me.)
    • Playlists?
    • The new mixtape or burned CDs.
    • Problem I’m running into is how to share songs.
    • The Teenager converted us to a Spotify family after a successful psych campaign.
    • We were all Amazon Music.
    • So I sling Spotify links around like candy.
    • But not everyone can listen to them.
    • What a pain in the ass our subscription-based world can be, you know?
    • Glad some asshole who doesn’t create the music’s getting richer!
    • (This is what differentiates the Black List from the Work List.)
    • (Like, here, I can say I’d like to punch a certain State Superintendent sycophant in the face. Multiple times.)
    • (Yes, fighting is bad.)
    • “If you could fight anyone, who would it be?”
    • I could do a top-five on that.
    • But it’d be a Kali fight because I never got to where I liked punching people back in my sparring days.
    • Hitting them with sticks and knives? Sure.
    • Would need to talk to my therapist about that.
    • OMG I loved doing Kali, btw.
    • Became the ninja I always wanted to be.
    • I have stories about that, too.
    • Now this one’s gone long, and I only hit like half the stuff I wrote down.
    • Snap. Back to reality.
    • I gotta go water the veggies in the pocket full of sunshine.
    • And then probably pass out from skull fatigue.
    • High five.
  • Status Quoth

    Status Quoth

    • Today’s a White Blank Page kinda day.
    • Some days, the Stream does not flow.
    • It’s worse when it’s fiction and not this nonsense.
    • Still sucks though.
    • At my advanced age, I finally appreciate the need for good sleep.
    • Not just some.
    • But plenty and good quality
    • I mentioned this yesterday.
    • Not getting good sleep craters your entire next day.
    • I passed out on the couch yesterday afternoon.
    • It’s not that I mind a nap.
    • I used to.
    • The Teenager does.
    • She resents them.
    • Will not entertain the notion.
    • We had a talk about sleeping in school the other day.
    • Because I sure did when I was her age.
    • She said she’ll put her head on her desk but will not sleep.
    • I had no compunction about falling asleep in class.
    • There was this one time in Oklahoma History in ninth grade where I was napping and the teacher (yes, I remember her name; she hated me) called on me to answer a question.
    • I lifted my head, gave the correct answer, put my head back down.
    • My friends told me about her face afterward.
    • She also made fun of me, in front of the class, for shopping at the Army Surplus store.
    • That day, I had on my black Vision Streetwear, my OD BDUs, and my white Metallica “Crash Course in Brain Surgery” t-shirt.
    • Got an A in her class, thank you very much.
    • Oklahoma history is the worst and getting worser apparently.
    • Thanks, Douche Walters.
    • Anyway, sleeping through history class was a thing for me.
    • But … I did the head-on-desk thing, too.
    • Like I said, I came to the appreciate sleep thing late in life.
    • I have only stayed up past midnight a handful of times in the last few years.
    • Used to be every day.
    • Every night?
    • I dunno.
    • Fatigue wins out.
    • That’s what I’m saying
    • Listen to your bodies.
    • These days, I miss out on sleep it’s like I stayed up drinking.
    • The hangover feels the same.
    • And takes as long to recover.
    • The worst.
    • Also why (you know, when I can) I never have more than two drinks, and probably just once a week.
    • Not a tax I want to pay.
    • There are plenty I don’t mind.
    • We won’t get into that.
    • But taxes are necessary for a functioning society.
    • You know what else I worry about?
    • Not being able to spell.
    • Been writing by hand a lot the past few days.
    • Paranoia.
    • Because people are going to see it.
    • We are all dependent upon spellcheck.
    • They want me dependent upon Grammarly.
    • Get the f out of my face with that.
    • Yes, I know the rules.
    • Yes, I know if I let Grammarly into my shit, it’ll sound like someone else wrote it.
    • I had one of my coworkers ask me how to get better at writing.
    • “Write.”
    • Sounds ridiculous.
    • Trite.
    • You have to develop your voice, and there’s only one way to do it.
    • Read and write?
    • Writing sculpts your brain.
    • I always imagine …
    • Have I done this already?
    • F.
    • My brains are fried.
    • No writing lesson for you today.
    • As usual, I want to talk music.
    • Sitting in the living room listening to the Tron Legacy soundtrack again.
    • Daft Punk.
    • It is good shit.
    • My default most days, however, is Tool.
    • Since the pandemic, my most-listened-to band.
    • I have rebought all their CDs for the car.
    • Cold. Dead. Hands.
    • But I won’t do that to the Wife while she works from home on the couch.
    • Had a station pause.
    • “Do you ever listen to music when you work from home by yourself?”
    • “Huh-uh.”
    • Alrightey then.
    • I have to have it.
    • You know this.
    • Well, some of you do.
    • Now the rest.
    • I have tinnitus.
    • Have had since 2008.
    • Music blunts the ring.
    • And well, you know how I feel about art.
    • Dammit all.
    • Music is cathartic.
    • Writing these lists does that, too.
    • Remember how we started.
    • Writer’s block. Bad mood (in case you missed it).
    • Doing this for me and inviting people along for the ride.
    • Gonna put the headphones on later and do some 10,000 Days.
    • And work on the book.
    • And call the Mayo.
    • This recovery shit is … busy.
    • Clock’s ticking, however.
    • And my brain is no longer content with the status quo.
    • I can keep going.
    • Poetry’s becoming a thing.
    • And I need to read some Hemingway as a recharge.
    • And these prints The Wife got (related) are amazing.
    • Need to be on the wall now.
    • What I’m saying …
    • “… Miles to go before I sleep.”

  • Add Title Here

    Add Title Here

    • I look like an escaped lobotomy patient right now.
    • Mwhahahahaha
    • Sup.
    • I’m sitting here on the couch listening to “Planet Caravan” by Black Sabbath.
    • The original, not that Pantera cover.
    • Not that the cover is bad, but …
    • I’m touchy, philosophically, about using things created by other people attached to whatever it is I’m doing.
    • Like the Oatmeal comic, or that cross-stitched thing.
    • I’ll attach that stuff because I love it, and I want other people to see it and follow whoever created it.
    • Here’s where I’d go on another AI rant.
    • I don’t want shit created by AI.
    • I don’t want AI writing or art or music.
    • If you’re a creative who uses it as a tool to help you with your end product, fine.
    • If you’re using it to think for you, you’re hastening the downfall of humanity, and making some rich tech fuck richer.
    • I’m sure you can use it to create dumb shit like bad action flicks and soap operas.
    • I’m sure they will.
    • But you get what you … pay for?
    • This is where I’d get into my movie critic argument.
    • The one where I say “just because you like something doesn’t mean it’s good.”
    • I have a lot of guilty pleasures, too.
    • I just know they suck.
    • And Knowing Is Half the Battle.
    • I guess the end game I’m struggling with.
    • If they have AI takeover creative endeavors, humanity will flounder.
    • We’re not meant to produce things for consumption other than food.
    • Not meant to spend our lives on assembly lines or in factories.
    • We’re meant to think and create.
    • Creativity is where our species advances.
    • You don’t solve problems without creativity.
    • Asking AI to do it for you makes you reliant on it for your thinking.
    • At some point, you’ll ask shittier questions.
    • And get shittier results.
    • Doesn’t anyone think about this?
    • Then again, I’m fed up with humanity’s continued inability to come up with a system to benefit everyone.
    • We don’t need to have poverty.
    • Or hunger.
    • Or homelessness.
    • They fling the word socialism at anything that can benefit the many these days.
    • And people believe it.
    • It’s bullshit.
    • It’s protecting the rich and greedy.
    • Hard to get away from it when they’re throwing “productivity” hacks at you every day.
    • This one’s a rant.
    • I guess.
    • I just work here, man.
    • We finished White Lotus season three yesterday.
    • Good stuff.
    • By far the prettiest show I have ever watched.
    • Started Andor season two.
    • Excellent.
    • I should’ve watched the finale of season one first, but I remembered as we tripped along.
    • For those of you new to the List, Mondays often end up as weekend recaps.
    • I started this one yesterday, so part of it isn’t.
    • I have been waking up at 4ish and unable to go back to sleep because the brain is flipping to ON mode.
    • I can brain.
    • Last night, I lay there doing FMLA math on how long I had to make progress on my book, among other things.
    • Kinda.
    • Brains update:
    • My left temple has been swollen and numb since the surgery.
    • I’d been wondering exactly where they’d opened the skull.
    • Figured that out Saturday trying to unload the dryer.
    • That repeated bending over stuff …
    • Oh, hey, there’s the crack.
    • Lol.
    • Still.
    • Not bad.
    • Still taking nothing for pain.
    • And I looked up without double vision for the first time since April 2022.
    • I never thought that would happen again.
    • It was in and out, but it happened.
    • The miracles of modern medicine.
    • Wish everyone had access to them.
    • And with that, I’m going to go take my IV meds and go for a walk.
    • You have the Monday you deserve.

  • Be The Light

    Be The Light

    • Compulsion.
    • That’s what it is.
    • Even when I’m not at a computer, my brain makes these Lists.
    • Started notes for one by hand this morning right before the IV treatment.
    • (Which The Wife handles.)
    • Where it started …
    • Pouring the coffee this morning, I had a flashback.
    • When I was a kid, on the weekends, we’d make coffee for the parents.
    • I’m sure it was Folger’s or something I’m way too bougie to drink now.
    • We’d pour it in these brown Frankoma coffee cups and carry it to them in their bedroom.
    • I’d walk slow, like carrying a landmine, desperately trying not to spill it.
    • Both of them drank it black.
    • (I did not inherit that, though I did get the coffee addiction.)
    • We also had this shot glass-sized Frankoma mug my Sister and I would drink coffee out of.
    • Just the one, I think.
    • Memories, man.
    • I can still walk around that house in my head.
    • I can still walk around almost everywhere I’ve ever been in my head.
    • Weird, right?
    • My memory … I wish I had more control over it.
    • There are times where it’s photographic.
    • Like, once in college during a test, I closed my eyes and read the answer off my study sheet that was crammed in my backpack.
    • The words were down at the bottom right, and curved up the side in my shitty handwriting.
    • Obviously, it doesn’t work all the time.
    • Especially these days.
    • What else?
    • People have been bringing us food on account of my surgery.
    • I keep getting overwhelmed with gratitude.
    • And am trying to figure out how to process it.
    • I bought a ton of blank thank you cards I get to start working on this weekend.
    • And if somehow I miss you, I’m telling you now.
    • Thank you.
    • For all your positivity and support.
    • You people are amazing.
    • Transitioning to randomness in 3 … 2 … 1 …
    • Have you had Sapori yet?
    • On Cherry St?
    • Everything I’ve had there is great, and the lasagna is the best I’ve ever eaten in my life.
    • Put it on your list if you haven’t been yet.
    • I could start making you Tulsa people a List.
    • Heh.
    • Hole Mole, right?
    • That poblano sauce is amazing.
    • Seriously, I’m going to make a website that’s nothing but Lists.
    • Or maybe I leave it parked on the one I already have.
    • We’ll see.
    • Take 2 has the best drip beef sandwich I’ve ever had in my life, and that place is a cause you can get behind.
    • I’m not even hungry
    • It’s Saturday morning, I’ve had my coffee and donettes.
    • Oh.
    • Here’s a thing.
    • This eye/brain stuff did not start in my eye/brain.
    • It started in my cheek, worked its way through my jaw, up my temple, and then crawled in behind my eye.
    • Along the way, it inhibited the movement of my jaw on the left side.
    • I could not really open my mouth.
    • Not enough to take a straight bite of a Hostess Donette.
    • We usually have those around the house for the Teenager.
    • So Thursday morning during the pre-School ritual, we sat down for some.
    • I pulled one out of the bag and stuck it in my mouth without thinking about it.
    • My mouth opened far enough to do it with no trouble.
    • Was an OMG moment.
    • Things are working.
    • Hope is a helluva thing, right?
    • I’ve been dealing with this shit for so long and like a typical GenXer, I roll with whatever happens.
    • What’s the point of whining when it is what it is, right?
    • Hope scares me.
    • I don’t relax well is what I’m saying
    • But good things are happening.
    • Oof.
    • I still desperately want an Old Fashioned.
    • Sigh.
    • This one’s a little self-indulgent.
    • I’ll do better next time.
    • It’s not a freaking journal after all.
    • What else?
    • No, I have not started season two of Andor yet.
    • It’s on a List.
    • I have a ton of lists of things to talk about.
    • Like getting the old Gang back together.
    • And physical media vs. streaming.
    • Mountain biking.
    • (Holy shit I cannot wait to get back in shape and ride my bikes.)
    • (That’s going to be a huge chunk of the list when I get finished up with all these meds.)
    • (Like, OMG I need to run and do push-ups.)
    • I’m avoiding politics as much as I can, though honestly, the Black List exists so I can talk about that shit.
    • I write these as discourse.
    • I want anyone who reads to feel like commenting, and to build a community where we get along and chat.
    • Online, because F all that in-person extroversion bs.
    • And you know, community is the thing that extends your life.
    • Enjoy the sunshine today.
    • Pockets full of it.

    I do not know who embroidered that molotov in the pic, or I would give them credit. But it made me smile enough to save it forevah.

  • Random Shit Per Usual

    Random Shit Per Usual

    • Medicine.
    • Both awesome and awful at the same time.
    • Mine’s effing with my sleep.
    • What’s up.
    • How’s everyone this fine Friday?
    • Literally perfect outside.
    • I filled up the Mouse mug with coffee, chased the cat around the backyard.
    • Got a runny nose.
    • Glorious.
    • So.
    • Some of you know I “manage” the social media for my place of employment.
    • What that means is I hired a young millennial to run it for us, and I stay out of her way.
    • However.
    • It means I have to keep up with social media even when I don’t want to.
    • Except for that TikTok bullshit.
    • I’m a Reddit guy personally.
    • One of the many things I hate about Facebook for normies is … no metrics.
    • Like, I know people are reading this bullshit, but unless you click the like button, I have no idea you’re here.
    • People keep responding and I had no idea they’d even read it.
    • Thank you for reading.
    • Trying to build something here.
    • …
    • One of our friends, who is awesome, sent the Wife a text in the form of bullet points.
    • Made me laugh.
    • Welcome to the party?
    • Lol
    • A List is easier for people to read.
    • Appeals to our dopamine-addicted brains.
    • Short. Sweet. To the point.
    • Anyway.
    • The numbers matter to my brain.
    • How big is the audience?
    • At work, that’s all I care about.
    • How many people saw it?
    • How many clicked the thing?
    • Data!
    • Give me data, Watson.
    • Data’s going to factor into my future plans quite a bit.
    • I’m a many splendored nerd is what I’m saying.
    • The Teenager just sent me “Carry Me Home,” by Royal and the Serpent.
    • It is spectacular.
    • (https://open.spotify.com/track/48ccwX9wv8bSSOdb2nKRBK?si=f9265c97c4814dc0)
    • They have songs on the Arcane soundtrack.
    • So good.
    • Like most everything I’ve heard from them.
    • You watched Arcane, right?
    • Might be the most beautifully animated show I’ve ever seen, and it’s loaded with great characters.
    • We’ve watched the whole thing at least twice.
    • I need to get watching Andor.
    • I loved the first season of that show.
    • Might be my favorite Star Wars property ever.
    • F them Jedi.
    • George accidentally made a cool sci-fi universe.
    • Yeah, those laser swords are cool, but … the world is the thing.
    • Man.
    • I am so tired.
    • I let Spotify roll after that song, and now I’m listening to “How Villains are Made,” by Madelen Duke.
    • Good stuff, too.
    • I gotta add stuff to my Femmes playlist is what I’m saying.
    • I keep getting lost in space.
    • Trying to figure out the car, still.
    • Probably going to have to haul it to Edmond for a total engine replacement.
    • What the actual fuck.
    • I just want my car back.
    • Haven’t had it since February.
    • Sigh.
    • Now that my brain’s settling down, it’s time to focus on other bullshit.
    • More debt!
    • Huzzah!
    • This world, man.
    • That’s a little bitter.
    • I get it.
    • But it’s cheaper to fix the car than buy a new one.
    • My forever car at this point.
    • Until my hips won’t let me operate a manual transmission anymore.
    • I love driving manual.
    • I hate doing it around Oklahoma drivers.
    • But that’s another story.
    • I’ve had a five- or six-speed manual car since … like 1997.
    • I will not willingly go into automatic transmission land.
    • Do Not Go Gentle.
    • I’m getting that tatted.
    • I have always wanted one.
    • The brain mass and surgery has changed my attitude on life.
    • Getting a sleeve on my upper left arm.
    • I have a list of elements.
    • I need a gifted tat artist to put it together and give it a unified style.
    • I’m kinda giddy thinking about it.
    • YOLO.
    • Seriously.
    • I know it sounds like all talk, but these lists are just the beginning.
    • I’m changing my life.
    • Buckle up.
    • Heh.
    • You don’t have to pay attention.
    • Honestly.
    • I’m just bullet journaling this shit and Change is coming.
    • Tick tock, mfers.
    • I’m going to need a logo to brand The List.
    • The Discord server is going swimmingly, btw.
    • Nice blend of people in there.
    • I expect it to grow a bit.
    • I’m not sure what’s it’s going to become, though I love the idea of having it when I become a published author.
    • Yeah, I said when.
    • Lol.
    • Enjoy your weekends.
    • And the … pockets of sunshine.

  • But What About Oregon Trail?

    But What About Oregon Trail?

    • My Grandpa Fillmore was the first computer geek I ever knew.
    • This was back when I was like 11 or 12, mind you.
    • He’d had a ton of different jobs, but did tax prep then.
    • So he had one of those early PCs with the two giant floppy disk drives.
    • The first time I used a word processor, and tried to write a fantasy story, was on his computer.
    • He bought me my first computer in college.
    • Hell, he bought me a TI-99 way before that.
    • I learned how to code in BASIC.
    • I’m saying I’m a long-time, hard-coded PC guy.
    • Windows has never inconvenienced me.
    • But then …
    • Up until this year, the last time I bought a PC was in 2014, a Microsoft Surface Pro 3.
    • Pure Windows.
    • No shitty software from another company.
    • Loved that thing
    • But then I didn’t buy anything else for more than a decade.
    • I found myself surfing around on my work laptop, which is no bueno.
    • Thing is, two years ago I got a MacBook Pro for work.
    • I have not worked on a Mac since junior high.
    • And I kinda like that thing.
    • A lot.
    • I have been converted is what I’m saying.
    • What. The. Fuck.
    • I now own one.
    • A MacBook Air.
    • And a PC, but that’s a different story.
    • Kind of like my Grandfather.
    • If you noticed that last name, we’re descendants of President Fillmore.
    • I know jack about that guy.
    • Never really looked him up.
    • The same way I do not know my biological dad, which again is another story entirely.
    • My grandfather was one of the best, greatest men I have ever known.
    • Hell, I lived with him most of my senior year of high school.
    • I miss that man so much.
    • I wish the Teenager had gotten to meet him.
    • He was about 5’9”.
    • Always wore slacks and a button-down shirt with a white tank top beneath.
    • Had a pocket protector with all manner of things in it.
    • Big glasses.
    • Balding head.
    • Used to work for the State employment agency.
    • And own a garage in downtown Sand Springs.
    • Had a yellow Ford Ranchero for a long time.
    • He died while I was in France.
    • …
    • This is a weird one, right?
    • Not a lot of pop culture.
    • I really just started typing to talk about computers.
    • I do not control the stream.
    • I just saw this AI ad on the book of Faces with this tagline: “Working to live? Try living to work!”
    • F You.
    • I am so tired of all this “productivity” bullshit.
    • All these tips on how to make you a better worker … for someone else.
    • I’m sorry, but that’s the Indentured mentality they want you to have.
    • That your worth is what someone else says it is.
    • And all this AI shit.
    • AI can help you as a tool, but it isn’t making you better.
    • Go find those early studies on its effect on chronic users’ ability to think.
    • I can use it to brainstorm.
    • And that’s about it.
    • It’s not better than I am at writing anything yet.
    • And the day it becomes that, the day AI takes over most white collar jobs, they’d better have UBI figured out or they’re not going to like the world version of the French Revolution.
    • …
    • Hi!
    • Goddamn ad.
    • Back when I worked at Urban Tulsa, I had this idea for a screenplay about … a middle class Dr. Marten Luther King/Malcom X thing.
    • Would’ve been the height of middle class white privilege.
    • However …
    • It would’ve been prophetic.
    • That was late ‘90s mind you.
    • Imma stop with that at the moment.
    • Cause we’re getting back to my theme song.
    • You know what I love?
    • Poorly Drawn Lines
    • If you’re not following that comic, you’re missing out.
    • I stick one at the bottom of the TCC student newsletter every week.
    • I hope the guy’s gotten follows and sales from it.
    • It’s funny almost every damn time.
    • Between him and The Oatmeal … I’m in comic heaven.
    • The Oatmeal is fantastic, though he is wheels off.
    • If you can get offended, maybe don’t fan the Oatmeal.
    • I mean, you should anyway.
    • Expand your horizons.
    • Okay, so update:
    • Staples are out.
    • Scab is gross.
    • Doc says everything is healing well.
    • That’s the whole update.
    • We’ll have to wait on the Mayo for diagnosis stuff.
    • What else?
    • The Wife and I sent to Savoy for lunch today.
    • Thursdays are the Turkey special.
    • If you haven’t had it, you’re missing out.
    • Fucking amazing.
    • What else?
    • Got The Terminator on 4k Blu-ray.
    • Glorious.
    • Feeling good.
    • Thank you for all the support.
    • I’m leaving with my pocket full of sunshine.
  • Whiskey in the Jar O

    Whiskey in the Jar O

    • Dear lord, I want an Old Fashioned.
    • One of the things I can never write about at work is alcohol.
    • I’m not an alcoholic, mind you, but I like a good drink or beer from time to time.
    • Old Fashioneds serve as my drink of choice.
    • That or Rye whiskey, neat.
    • More than a decade ago, I went with the Wife to a conference in San Diego.
    • While she was conferencing, I got to hang out with LBSUTKE and Gaius, two of my Halo buddies who live in the area.
    • They took me to the Aero Bar, which has more than 700 whiskeys and bourbons.
    • The bartenders hand you a three-inch binder when you come in, and there’s a wall of bottles behind them.
    • Gaius picked for me because I was not a whiskey guy.
    • One of them was Japanese, and I don’t remember which it was.
    • The other was the Thomas H. Handy rye from the Buffalo Trace antique series.
    • It melted my brain it was so good.
    • And he’d only let me drink it neat.
    • Everything else pales in comparison.
    • The closest I can get is the Midwinter Night’s Dram from High West.
    • Which is damn good, mind you.
    • I think Tulsa only gets like 13 bottles of the Handy every year, so those fuckers are snatched up by Liquor Store employees.
    • (If you know anyone in Tulsa or anywhere who can help me get a bottle for under $200, lemme know.)
    • But yeah … Whiskey.
    • I love the complicated taste of it.
    • How each is different.
    • And the burn does not bother me.
    • None for me for … 11 more weeks.
    • Sigh.
    • Margaritas are in there, too.
    • And a selection of beers.
    • But no gd IPAs.
    • Those are the fucking worst.
    • I found this Hawaiian shirt with skulls all over it.
    • I’m inclined to buy it.
    • I used to wear Hawaiian shirts all the time.
    • Mostly because I hate tucking things in.
    • I know, I know, if I want to move up the corporate food chain, I have to tuck shit in.
    • The struggle is real.
    • Anyway, I showed it to the Teenager.
    • She said, “I hate Hawaiian shirts.”
    • So does the Wife, apparently.
    • I’m like, you guys have no idea about male attire.
    • We get either t-shirts or things with collars.
    • Polos.
    • Button-downs.
    • Things that will accommodate ties, which are a level of hell-on-earth.
    • That’s kinda it.
    • And as we reviewed yesterday, I don’t do well with … rules.
    • Then she (the Teenager) told me she never really likes my wardrobe choices.
    • What. The. Hell.
    • I did not get far enough to see what she’d prefer to see me in.
    • Probably dressed like a British gentleman.
    • I want the Hawaiian shirt for two reasons:
    • 1) Because they’re hella comfy, especially in the summer;
    • 2) I want it to wear under my jacket at work.
    • I’m a Creative Director now for F’s sake.
    • That’s why I wear Van’s.
    • Cause I can.
    • Cause it’s expected.
    • I did get a TSR shirt this week, which is noice.
    • IYKYK.
    • I still have a jonesing for a pair of Doc Martens.
    • Why am I talking about stuff?
    • I got nothing else to do?
    • I’ve been reading book four of The Wheel of Time.
    • They have fucked up that show.
    • Anyway.
    • I know Barry provided me with Italics instructions, but … I can’t be bothered.
    • It also won’t let me hyperlink copy.
    • I can add the web address outright and it’ll give you all something to click on.
    • Again, go to the blog (skepticlysm.com), sign up for the newsletter.
    • You’ll get these in your inbox and never have to come here.
    • I have some fiction up over there, too, if you haven’t already read it.
    • I have plans.
    • I have had epiphany after epiphany since the surgery.
    • Shit is in motion.
    • Stay tuned.
    • The other day, when talking music, one of my Halo buddies sent me a song from a band I’d never heard before.
    • “Shakin’ Off the Rust,” by The Blue Stones.
    • (https://open.spotify.com/track/5MKtQtz40BsJZvqkS5FmC6?si=e5899226f9c143a8)
    • It is freaking spectacular and literally every song I listened to from them was good.
    • Insane to have never heard of them.
    • They may not have a pocket full of sunshine, but they’re damn good.
    • Okay, here’s the truth about these lists.
    • They are procrastination.
    • I should be working on the novel.
    • I’m not.
    • Yet.
    • My brain’s not 100 percent back yet.
    • Just you wait.
    • Or something.
    • I got a …