skepticlysm

Tag: Fiction

  • And On And On And On

    And On And On And On

    • What happens if you get caught picking your nose when you’re on Zoom?
    • I know you pick your nose.
    • Don’t lie.
    • Hey, what’s up.
    • Friday.
    • Hard to develop the audience if you’re not consistently producing.
    • I won’t make promises.
    • Too easy to go unfulfilled and the cost sucks.
    • I have been making lists in my notebook.
    • For real.
    • They’re mostly for me.
    • It occurs to me I’m talking to myself.
    • A list is a conversation with the other versions of me.
    • Or the inside me?
    • Anyway.
    • This morning, I clicked on a Spotify playlist of new music from, or related to, artists I’ve followed.
    • New Lamb of God.
    • New Megadeth.
    • New Royal & the Serpent.
    • New Au/Ra.
    • Anyway, played it.
    • About five or six songs down, there was one called, “IT’S WORTH IT,” by Left on Red, whom I’ve never heard of.
    • Soon as the vocals started, the singer said my name and then gave me like this whole positive affirmation message for like a minute and a half.
    • And honestly, it was topically relevant given the existential week I’ve had.
    • I found it fucking horrifying.
    • Obviously AI based.
    • Has to be, right?
    • What in the fuck is Spotify listening to?
    • My text messages?
    • F the AI revolution.
    • F the Administration taking away my rights.
    • F you I won’t do what you tell me.
    • I’m not making that up.
    • I’m actually curious.
    • If YOU listen to that song, will it plug in your name?
    • Your mission, should you choose to accept it.
    • You know how you can get your text messages in the browser window on your computer?
    • I do that all the time.
    • If you text me between 9 and 5, I’m answering with a proper keyboard.
    • Yesterday, I answered texts all morning, and then I went to look up something on my phone …
    • No phone.
    • I searched the whole office.
    • My desk.
    • The floor.
    • My bag.
    • No phone.
    • Did someone steal it out of my office while I was elsewhere?
    • Did I drop it on the sidewalk?
    • Panic, you know?
    • That first moment.
    • Motherfucking anxiety.
    • Left it in the car.
    • Two blocks and two stories away.
    • Damn phone.
    • I don’t even remember what I needed it for.
    • Panic erased the task.
    • But hey, didn’t lose my phone.
    • Woooooo.
    • I have a note that says, “Cheeto hands,” which I wrote down right before I went to the bathroom.
    • Make sure you wash your hands before and after in that situation.
    • Just sayin.
    • What else …
    • Song lyric of the week: “There’s nothing more American than starting a war.”
    • A bunch of these are from last week, which means I no longer feel that urgency I did when I wrote them down.
    • Saw this thing on Insta last week.
    • They’ve added a new ‘vert: Otroverts.
    • “They are not fueled by solitude and they are not energized by the spotlight. These individuals feel their best in the company of others, yet they don’t need constant chatter or the intensity of extroverted energy to thrive.”
    • That’s closer.
    • I believe we spend most of our time in one of the shorthand categories, but it’s situational.
    • Sorry for the hopscotchery today.
    • It’s Friday and I’m sitting in a webinar … that I sat through in person at a conference two years ago.
    • Literally.
    • Same two presenters.
    • And it’s shit I do already anyway.
    • It’s things like this that are driving me to the classroom.
    • To teach.
    • Taking my “How to teach at the College” class this month.
    • Why get a grad degree if you’re not planning on teaching?
    • Grad school, btw, is a helluva lot more interesting than undergrad.
    • Okay, what else?
    • If you followed the lists since April, you know what a headtrip I’ve been on.
    • Daily Prednisone has ridden shotgun on the Eye for three years.
    • I’ve been tapering since July.
    • Took the last one yesterday.
    • Now, we wait.
    • There are “potential” side effects when disembarking from Train Pred.
    • I got all of them.
    • Might take a couple of months to get my body back.
    • If ever.
    • Knees weak, arms spaghetti.
    • Or something.
    • I have much empathy for long-term Pred users.
    • How do you talk about a thing without it being a cry for sympathy?
    • Anyway, the road to normal aging starts now!
    • And maybe some PT.
    • Wooooooo.
    • Started reading A Night in the Lonesome October by Roger Zelazny again.
    • That’ll be three Octobers in a row.
    • I don’t remember where I heard about the book, though I’m pretty sure I wrote it into a List for work.
    • But I looked the book up on Reddit … or maybe that’s where I heard of it in the first place, and that’s where I learned there’s a whole community of people who love that book, and read it at a chapter-a-day pace every October.
    • Which is easy because the chapters are named by date.
    • It’s a good time.
    • It’s like a macabre literary version of a dog cartoon.
    • That’s a poor, poor description.
    • Cause I need a nap.
    • So about three weeks ago, I shared the draft of the Novel with a Librarian.
    • And heard nothing.
    • Wednesday, during my existential crisis, one of the haunting thoughts was about how bad the book is, how it’s not worth finishing, how I should let the dream die.
    • For those playing the home game, Wednesday, for a lot of reasons, I was down in a hole.
    • Do you understand how personal it is to share anything you’ve created with other people?
    • Especially when you’ve tied so much of your identity to it.
    • A Librarian.
    • If the Librarian didn’t like it … well, I’d be fucked.
    • They’re the book experts, you know?
    • But I did hear back.
    • And damn, talk about uplifting.
    • Like a gift, really.
    • Which brings me to this train of thought.
    • Words have so much power.
    • To uplift.
    • To decimate.
    • To inflict or incite or inspire.
    • And we fling them around like bladed weapons, indifferent to their effects.
    • I have 17 chapters left to go and a round of rewrites, but …
    • It has to happen.
    • Speaking of books …
    • I preorder stuff on Kindle.
    • Obviously.
    • I have tiered authors.
    • If I love them, I preorder hardbacks.
    • If I really like them, I preorder Kindle (though I’m beginning to contemplate a way out of that environment since I don’t really “own” those books according to that rich asshole).
    • The downside of preordering the ebooks … you’re apt to forget you bought them ahead of time.
    • Probably I should make a calendar of preordered books, or what happened in September will happen again.
    • I bought a book, The Society of Unknowable Objects by Gareth Brown on a Monday.
    • And then … three more books showed up on my Kindle the next day.
    • Or maybe it was two, and then another one the Tuesday after.
    • Either way, too much money on books all at once.
    • (Sorry, Dear.)
    • The preorders:
    • The Shattering Peace, by John Scalzi.
    • To Clutch a Razor, by Veronica Roth.
    • Thief of Night, by Holly Black.
    • And then … Nm, man. I have a problem is what I’m saying.
    • I prefer to think of it as being a Micro-Patron of artists.
    • I’m supporting those brothers and sisters living the Dream.
    • Yes, I’m procrastinating writing this List instead of the Book.
    • The Book scares me.
    • Goddammit.
    • Before I get out of here, let’s go back to that Playlist.
    • Writers are frequently asked whether they listen to music while they write.
    • Stephen King does, for instance.
    • My daughter does not (and yes, she’s officially started writing her passion project).
    • I do.
    • It just becomes something I need.
    • I cannot abide a silence.
    • Silence makes the ringing louder.
    • It can be detrimental when you’re trying to give new music the attention it might deserve.
    • Like, four or five songs played through and I heard nothing.
    • They were on.
    • I heard them not.
    • Listen.
    • Actively.
    • With focus.
    • It’ll change your life.
    • I’m not sure if this is the record for List length.
    • Gotta be close.
    • Okay, one more thing.
    • Facebook showed me a post from 11 years ago, my feet propped up on the back porch, a pint of DNR in my hand.
    • Accompanying the picture, I talked about how great that Friday, Oct. 3 was with a temperature of 64 degrees.
    • Time flies when you’re having fun, and all the things you want remain undone.
    • Do not go gentle, gang.
    • I’d pay for a proper October temperature about now.
    • Sigh.
  • Time Theft

    Time Theft

    Sept. 2

    • Now I’m to that point where I think I have notes that could be part of a list in two or three different places.
    • But I’m in the recliner and I don’t want to get up to find a notebook.
    • Or get my computer glasses.
    • If there’s anything that could put a dent in one’s GenX creds, it’s reading glasses.
    • Then the dogs demanded food.
    • So I got up to do that.
    • This is what you want, right?
    • Play-by-play.
    • Announcer One: “And he throws the paper towel toward the can and it’s … no good! He missed again.”
    • Announcer Two: “It’s been decades and he’s still not practicing that. I think we can anticipate continued failure.”
    • Announcer One: “You’re probably right on that.”
    • How horrible would that be?
    • Would you do it for, say, one million dollars?
    • How much would …

    Sept. 4

    • That’s what my life’s come to.
    • Journals and lists half-finished, ephemeral thoughts lost to brain damage and time.
    • This is the real reason I haven’t started Substack or Patreon pages.
    • Squirrel!
    • Time theft!
    • I had two thoughts falling asleep last night.
    • First: paint colors for various rooms in the house.
    • That banal gray’s gotta go.
    • Second: Life Plans.
    • Being the age that I am, the tick of the clock echoes loud in my mind.
    • All the things I wanted to do but haven’t.
    • The undone, I understand those are my fault.
    • I never had a plan, and when you don’t have a plan, you end up eddying, spinning in the stream, going nowhere, or somewhere, just not a where of your own.
    • I feel the lack keenly.
    • The urgency.
    • One of the things I promised myself in the ICU was to stop wasting time with things that don’t fulfill me.
    • It sounds selfish to type it aloud.
    • The world demands a profession, production for stakeholders.
    • You don’t get a roof or food or leisure if you’re not producing.
    • It gives no fucks if you’re happy.
    • If you’re enjoying your time on the blue marble.
    • The inability to break free crushes me.
    • Gets my brain trapped in a miasma of aimlessness.
    • My most “felt” line in movie history?
    • “I must get out of here. I must get free.” Agent Smith, The Matrix.
    • (No, don’t put me on suicide watch. I don’t roll that way.)
    • But that feeling of being trapped by debt and jobs and money.
    • Fuck.
    • Someone’s telling you what to do.
    • Always.
    • Just me?
    • Cool.
    • I saw this chart yesterday … the other day … a day this week … that talked about traits associated with both high and low life satisfaction.
    • Had a lot of both.
    • But with age, there’s this evolution of wants I’m experiencing.
    • I don’t want a lot of things anymore.
    • I’ve talked about this before, right?
    • I’d rather have trips and memories.
    • The craving’s still there for things.
    • Like we’re addicted to the next new thing to own.
    • Shirts.
    • Bags.
    • Cars.
    • Phones.
    • Beds.
    • (I do want CDs and Blu-rays, but that’s a different issue.)
    • (That’s about subscription freedom.)
    • (Okay, it’s not a different issue.)
    • All kinds of shit that won’t last and doesn’t really give us anything.
    • Hell, isn’t everything designed with planned obsolescence these days?
    • Here I am, complaining.
    • Kinda.
    • Lowers my life satisfaction.
    • One of the things on there that grabbed me.
    • “Respect for Authority” on the good side.
    • Which made me ask the question, “Did they check the responses vs. intelligence?”
    • Sigh.
    • Well, goddamn, if this isn’t a joy to read.
    • Heh.
    • Sorry, sorry.
    • Theme of the week maybe?
    • Mark and I had this conversation today about games, specifically about Helldivers 2, Call of Duty 7, Battlefield 6, and Delta Force.
    • Yeah, sorry, I’m a shooter at heart.
    • But most of what we talked about was how much greed has wrecked video games.
    • CoD and Battlefield were Maddenized.
    • Crank out one every year for reliable profits for the master control company.
    • Money’s made a joke of CoD in particular.
    • It’s a hardcore military shooter where you can skin your character like a literal cartoon.
    • Greed kills innovation.
    • EA is like that company in Ready Player One.
    • Video games combine numerous different kinds of creativity to produce … fun.
    • Engineers and coders have to get creative with their technical expertise to make a playable product.
    • Traditional creatives – writers, artists, composers – take the tech and breathe life and humanity and cleverness into it.
    • If it’s all the same, they’re missing the point.
    • Less for more!
    • Shrinkflation is real.
    • Like, we’re addicted to Hostess Donettes.
    • A year or two ago, they took off that metal closing tab on the top of the bag.
    • This month, the made the bags smaller, added more ink to the packaging so you wouldn’t notice, and reduced the number of donettes you get by three.
    • Hostess! Engaging in Shrinkflation! You thought we wouldn’t notice, but … we did.
    • Well, fuck it. We’re on a rant. Let’s keep going.
    • I’m not sure this next part actually is.
    • I remember back in the day, because of iTunes … I became anti-Apple.
    • The ecosystem was too locked down.
    • And I never did buy into that “it’s better because it’s simpler” nonsense.
    • I was Microsoft for Life.
    • Or so I thought.
    • The slip started when they killed Windows Phones.
    • Ended up on Android.
    • Now I have … hell, I dunno, four gmail accts?
    • And I’m on my third or fourth Pixel with GoogleFi.
    • I wrote about getting a Mac as my work computer, which lead me to getting a Mac to replace my Surface tablet, though I do also have a Windows rig for gaming.
    • Oh, and the Xbox.
    • I made a joke about this to Steph earlier, but … looking back, it’s what I wanted.
    • I’m free of any one ecosystem.
    • Free to choose which to use for what thing.
    • I still don’t own a Playstation.
    • Won’t, because, you know, I don’t really want one.
    • And we’re back into the Problem of Things.
    • Cagetalism.
    • Break the ecosystem!
    • I’ve looked into setting up a personal Cloud system for the fam.
    • Everything costs money, but in the long run, I like being free of their system.
    • And I like not having AI helping by reading all my things.
    • Ah!
    • I don’t have control of these things.
    • This is what happens when the product has a life of its own.
    • I imagine this is how authors felt when they tell you the characters took the story away from them.
    • What will the next bullet be?!
    • The fuck if I know.

    No movies, books, shows, or music. We did get some vidya games. We’ll see what happens next. Stay tuned.

    Oh yeah, new blog template. I’m not sold. I miss the pics. Oh yeah, I had this link about the goodness of being bored as told by a Harvard prof.

  • Arrow to the Knee

    Arrow to the Knee

    • So the kid does this thing.
    • If she starts a book, she feels bound to finish it.
    • Obligated.
    • I don’t think I’ve ever been that way.
    • Last night, well, yesterday, she read an entire 400-page book she didn’t really like or enjoy reading.
    • Me: “I don’t understand why you read books you’re not enjoying.”
    • Her: “Because you never know. It might get better. It might have a great ending.”
    • Me: “If it’s not good, you know that’s not going to happen.”
    • Her: “It might.”
    • And then there was something about having bought the book, so maybe a bit of financial obligation, too?
    • Me: “You know, if you got a Kindle, you can do samples of books.”
    • Her: “I’m not getting a Kindle. Stop trying to sell me on a Kindle!”
    • You will learn, grasshopper.
    • When you’re away at college and money is nonexistent, you’ll be calling home to beg for book money.
    • And because that’s a good habit, I’ll probably still give it to her.
    • Because I’m a sucker.
    • Since I’m kid talking today …
    • We have one of those L-shaped sectionals.
    • She sits in the corner against the wall.
    • The Korner.
    • She’s earned the nickname Corner Troll.
    • I did not give it to her.
    • Anyway, there she was yesterday when I got home from work/grocery shopping, book propped up on knees, covered in blankets.
    • (No, I don’t know what book it was. I can’t keep up.)
    • There’s this croissant bread, a whole loaf, I’ve found intermittently at Whole Foods, and only Whole Foods.
    • She loves it.
    • I carried it into the … TV room and showed it to her.
    • Her eyes widened.
    • I turned around and started to walk off.
    • “You bring me that bread!”
    • Made me laugh.
    • I have a bread problem.
    • I won’t foist any of the blame upon Steph.
    • (She likes it, too.)
    • Genetics.
    • Hellva thing, right?
    • Foist was a Wordle word a couple of weeks ago.
    • I think.
    • You know what’s awesome about having some kind of growth near/in your brain?
    • You get to make all kinds of jokes and excuses.
    • “I’m sorry. I don’t remember that. Brain tumor.”
    • I’m doing it for at least a year.
    • We’ll see what October brings.
    • (Next MRI.)
    • Yesterday, we listened to party hits from the 2010s.
    • Today, I’m on someone’s “Songs that give me the thousand-yard stare” playlist.
    • Not bad so far.
    • I guess I should give you Spotifyians the link just in case.
    • Here:
    • Oh, wait.
    • I’m not online.
    • Long story.
    • I’ll get online to post this.
    • Obviously.
    • Also, I have no recollection of adding the playlist to my Library.
    • Sigh.
    • It’s probably all AI-generated.
    • Which goes against my values.
    • I get the potential of AI.
    • It has the ability, as a tool, to revolutionize a lot of things.
    • Definitely going to change our world.
    • I hope the outcome is not Elysium.
    • I wish people would focus on that instead of trying to take the human out of everything.
    • Creatively speaking, I’m sure they’ll use AI to make all the things.
    • I’m definitely having an old man response to it.
    • I’m not alone, and plenty of the AI rebels are younger.
    • But all it can ever do is mimic the human experience.
    • It can’t have any of its own.
    • Even when it’s sentient, its experiences will be alien to ours.
    • Until we all start getting implants anyway.
    • I won’t be around for that, but the kid might.
    • I have a novella I started during the Pandemic about that kind of thing.
    • It got bulldozed to the side by the book.
    • I’m told sometimes it takes years to write a book.
    • The fact mine’s unfinished makes me feel like a failure.
    • I talked to my therapist about this.
    • All fear-based.
    • Loss of identity.
    • Negative self-talk.
    • Working on it.
    • I’m self-aware on a lot of things now.
    • Would not have gotten there on my own.
    • I’m a therapy zealot.
    • It’s changed my life.
    • Could change yours, too, if you need it.
    • Working on the book yesterday …
    • Okay, my process involves reading what’s already there to get in the right flow and headspace.
    • And I had an idea about an interaction between two of my main characters that changes their relationship a bit, so I’m going to have to go back and rewrite a bunch of conversations.
    • I think I told you that.
    • Anyway.
    • During rereading yesterday, I made myself laugh.
    • The protagonist has a super dry sense of humor.
    • And I could hear her delivery.
    • I laughed out loud.
    • Just once.
    • But … kinda felt good, you know?
    • Battled some of that impostor syndrome.
    • Brad sent me this Trae Crowder clip yesterday where the comedian riffs on the advantages of being dumb.
    • He’s not wrong.
    • (I’ll find that link, too, here in a minute. You won’t be able to see it on FB, but it’ll be there on the blog.)
    • (No, I’m not doing the comment link thing.)
    • (Maybe.)
    • (If someone asks for it I suppose.)
    • (I’ll post it in the Discord.)
    • (About time to share that again I suppose.)
    • Gonna have an Old Fashioned tonight.
    • Just the one.
    • I actually want to build a Top 10 Best Old Fashioned list for Tulsa, but …
    • I don’t want to go to all the bars to try to figure it out.
    • Maybe Top 10 Best OFs in Tulsa Restaurants.
    • Still a bold quest.
    • Nevermind.
    • I like ‘em at Jimmy’s Chophouse.
    • Waterfront.
    • Bull in the Alley.
    • The Tavern.
    • (McNellie’s Group cornering the market …)
    • Oh, Charleston’s.
    • I guess it’s Friday when you start thinking about cocktails before lunch arrives.
    • My weekend to-do list is monumental.
    • Things piled up (sometimes literally) while recovering on my ass for 12 weeks.
    • Speaking of that.
    • Don’t do that ever.
    • I’m sure part of the pain I’m dealing with is the Prednisone leaving my body, but goddamn man, everything is tight. Everything hurts. When I stand up, I look like an old man. I mean, my freaking heels hurt, and that is the worst.
    • Sitting all day in an office chair doesn’t help.
    • Standing desk, bro.
    • You know what I’m going to say, right?
    • …
    • C’mon, I repeat the hell out of myself.
    • “Do not go gentle” into that good weekend.
  • I Mean, What the Hell

    I Mean, What the Hell

    • Yeah, this work stuff.
    • Tomorrow’s my last half-day before resuming full-time on Thursday.
    • There’s not been one day in the last almost two weeks where I haven’t come home and fallen asleep in the … den?
    • Is it the den?
    • It’s the TV room.
    • The room we spend most of our time in.
    • That’s why they’re called Living Rooms, I guess.
    • Our house is weird.
    • There’s one room that’s like a wide hallway with a fireplace.
    • Anyway, the point …
    • You haven’t been getting lists because of work.
    • Ironic.
    • Maybe Alanis’s version.
    • Maybe the actual version.
    • Who can say.
    • I have notes in my notebook.
    • Those were relevant at the time.
    • And looking at them now, I’m not feelin’ it.
    • Them.
    • Feeling them.
    • Which would …
    • I mean, rehashing my anger toward our lives of indentured servitude … done it already, and I’m too tired from my job to try again.
    • Which is all you need to say.
    • Those notes were from July anyway.
    • Barely.
    • The day before the end of July.
    • I did spend that particular afternoon listening to Twenty One Pilots.
    • That shit should be hyphenated, by the way.
    • Twenty-One Pilots.
    • Compound adjectives are hyphenated.
    • And judgment is not spelled with an E before the M.
    • I did have a note about grammar, so … that written list might be paying off a tiny bit.
    • A tad, as it were.
    • Also from the notebook:
      • Parking garage
      • WFH
        • Idiots
        • Interview
      • Virgin Islands
      • Negative Inertia
      • Tai Chi
      • A/C guy
      • Read Wednesday’s notes
      • Walgreens
    • The other day, the kid and I went to Walgreens for dessert.
    • She offered to drive.
    • Alas, we did not have the Pilot because it was in the shop.
    • And I haven’t taught her to drive a manual yet.
    • Anyway, we walked into Walgreens and saw a Reese’s display of pumpkins and bats and ghosts and whatnot.
    • You know, the Halloween stuff.
    • And I thought, “Of course that shit’s on sale, it’s olll … oh, shit.”
    • I have time warped.
    • 2026 is going to have to be my year, because I missed a quarter of this one.
    • Woosh.
    • But yes, it’s too damn early for Halloween stuff.
    • Three solid months.
    • At least two months early.
    • Right?
    • We’re willing to give stores a month before a holiday to sell the shit for that particular holiday, right?
    • Virgin Islands?
    • Ooh, right.
    • Bought this book about how to refine your writing/research process, and at the end of the introduction from the author, he signed his name and followed it with … “Virgin Islands.”
    • Bro.
    • You sonofabitch.
    • Rubbing that shit in.
    • “I wrote this book and self-published it and now I get to live in the Virgin Islands while you buy my book and daydream of breaking free of your indenturedship! Sucka!”
    • It’s like that meme of the dude flashing the Peace sign from someone’s freshly dug grave.
    • At least he didn’t use AI to write it.
    • (Because then anyone could repackage it and sell it with a different name and get their own Virgin Island residence.)
    • (Or maybe he got to write the book because he already had money in the first place.)
    • I collect books about writing.
    • My three favorites are probably Hemingway’s, Stephen King’s, and Elmore Leonard’s 10 writing tips, which is a … list.
    • Last week, the kid told me she was reading the intro for King’s The Life of Chuck, and said it sounded like my writing.
    • I told her his book, On Writing, was really good and that she should read it.
    • She said, “Perhaps.”
    • The really odd part of that … I haven’t read a lot of King.
    • Fewer than five.
    • A few days ago, we were talking about work/school and trying to be creative afterward.
    • “I want to work on something creative, but when I get home from being bored all day at school, I can’t do it.”
    • “It’s difficult.”
    • That’s not my real problem.
    • Yes, it’s true, but …
    • Wait.
    • I’m about to overshare.
    • …
    • Nevermind. Not doing that.
    • Authenticity.
    • Gross.
    • It would smell like excuse refuse.
    • Funny how that is, right?
    • Your feelings about a thing are legitimate.
    • Your struggles to overcome a thing are real.
    • And yet, say them aloud they become excuses.
    • Oof.
    • Do your therapy.
    • Do the work.
    • Overcoming the thing is the goal.
    • Avoiding the thing is the problem.
    • Blameshifting is the problem.
    • Own your shit. Conquer it.
    • You go to therapy, right?
    • No?
    • “You think that air you’re breathing is real?”
    • Again!
    • “Fear is the mindkiller.”
    • Inertia is the worst.
    • Trying to write from a recliner in the … TV room … while the kid’s watching The Office (which I never got into) …
    • (We can still talk about tacos without them being Trump, right?)
    • (Nevermind.)
    • I started getting ads for tai chi.
    • Which I want to do.
    • Finding a place though.
    • Do you know what that’s like for introverts?
    • Going to a class of any kind?
    • But especially those martial arts classes.
    • (It is a martial art, but not one where they punch each other in the head; doing that when you have a titanium plate in your dome and a rescabbed scar is probably a bad idea.)
    • I want the habit, though.
    • I get tired of push-ups, you know?
    • (This is what I get when I write when I should be napping.)
    • (Seriously, this one’s a sack of cats.)
    • (Imma stop now.)
    • (You’re welcome.)

  • Belonging Kinds

    Belonging Kinds

    • First, “The Belonging Kind” is a Gibson short story in Burning Chrome.
    • And it’s a trip.
    • It’s probably a metaphor for what I’m about to discuss, but he’s smarter than I am and can be more circumspect.
    • Do you feel the need to belong to a group?
    • Like, do you need a group to define yourself?
    • I knew someone once who had this crazy drive to belong to something.
    • The things he wanted to belong to were … control groups.
    • Law enforcement stuff.
    • I didn’t understand it.
    • Still don’t, really.
    • I haven’t even been able to make myself stay in the Metallica fan club.
    • This is one of those things where I want to say, “I don’t,” but that isn’t true.
    • “Metalhead.”
    • Family and friend groups.
    • Is there a difference between interests we use to define ourselves and groups we think we need to belong to?
    • Why do we need external things to define ourselves?
    • Because that’s the language we have?
    • Clearly, this is the Rash talking.
    • A kind of madness.
    • I am going mad.
    • (Queue up the opening of Anthrax’s “Madhouse.”)
    • NP: Twenty-one Pilots, “The Line.”
    • Yesterday, I got my Casa Bonita Founders Club card.
    • Which makes me laugh.
    • I got on the mailing list when we were last in Colorado.
    • The Casa had a months’ long waiting list just for the soft-open.
    • Foolishly we thought we might go.
    • Apparently, it’s a destination now?
    • I probably only went a handful of times in Tulsa.
    • We were El Chico people.
    • That was my first Mexican restaurant experience.
    • What’s cool about Mexican restaurants … the variety of takes.
    • Like the differences between enchiladas, etc.
    • El Chico established “Tex-Mex” in my mind.
    • Stuff drowned in sauces. Con Carne, people!
    • Dear lord, I’m having trouble avoiding passive voice today.
    • Every damn sentence wants to use “was” for its verb.
    • I can’t lecture people about writing technique when I can’t do it myself.
    • Dammit all.
    • Were.
    • Was.
    • Is.
    • Bah.
    • Crap.
    • Writing in bullet lists promotes lazy writing habits.
    • Apparently.
    • See?
    • A damn adverb.
    • Motherfucking adverbs.
    • There I go, swearing again.
    • You know.
    • You can’t have known me and expect clean language.
    • Except in the book I’m writing because, well, it’s a YA book.
    • I know how it happened.
    • Still weird.
    • I need to get it finished so I can write other things.
    • Though the sequel is already a third plotted.
    • (IS; again.)
    • I am not currently fit for public consumption.
    • I need to go stand in a field and scream, except the heat would inflame the Rash.
    • This cannot stand.
    • Turning into a fine whine today.
    • I can’t wait to see F1.
    • Dude makes good movies.
    • Also, did you see the Denis V. got the directing gig for the next 007 flick?
    • Mixed feelings about that.
    • Dude is one of top two best living sci-fi directors.
    • But … he’s directed great non-sci-fi movies, too.
    • I think they’re about to shoot “Dune: Messiah.”
    • (About time for a Dune rewatch. Been a month or two.)
    • He’s one of my top-five favorite directors.
    • I’ll watch whatever he makes.
    • Except that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Hugh Jackman with the kidnapped girls.
    • Can’t watch a movie about kidnapped daughters.
    • I have not watched a bunch of stuff in my convalescence.
    • Weird.
    • Has been so much more draining than I expected.
    • I usually bounce back quicker.
    • Then again, I’ve never had my skull opened before.
    • Sitting here watching my Mom recover from the hip replacement.
    • She’s doing laps around the house with the walker already, and would no doubt be attempting more than she should if my sister wasn’t keeping steady watch.
    • Constant vigilance!
    • Anyway, recovering faster than the skull thing.
    • Perspectives and expectations, right?
    • Adjust to the reality.
    • Do not cling to your expectations.
    • That seems like the worst thing we can do as humans.
    • Getting stuck in a specific frame of mind limits your potential.
    • You have to be open to change, open to disappointment and redirection.
    • (Word always wants me to change “have to” to “must.” No one says must anymore, Word-bro.)
    • I’m not (open to change) as much as I’d like to be, anyway.
    • Working on it.
    • Like this “chocolate croissant” business.
    • It’s “pain au chocolat,” people.
    • (Always makes me laugh that bread in French is “pain.”)
    • Said this before, but if you want the real thing, you need to go to Saint Amon’s.
    • Next door to Nords.
    • You want a French pastry, go to a bakery operated by a real Frenchman.
    • Also, while we’re at it …
    • Listen, Panera, if you’d do it right, you wouldn’t need the powdered sugar and frosting crap on top.
    • The quest for profit robs us of better-made things.
    • Greed ruins everything.
    • Veering toward ranting.
    • Not gonna do it.
    • This time.
    • Wait.
    • I just ranted about bread.
    • My playlist just went from Royal and the Serpent to Killswitch Engage to Rusted Root.
    • Like a bunch of stuff.
    • Hit random.
    • I am a crazy person.
    • Actually, I think these lists represent a pretty typical trip through someone’s consciousness.
    • Maybe it’s just mine, but …
    • I have trouble holding onto one topic for any substantial chunk of time.
    • My brain operates in Squirrel in default.
    • Concentrating’s hard.
    • Maybe I don’t have ADHD, but it sure feels that way.
    • Remember me talking about the Kid’s boredom yesterday?
    • Yeah …
    • I apologize to her all the time for passed-on traits.
    • “Sorry, kid. Good luck with that.”
    • NP: Lorde, “Buzzcut Season.”
    • (When the hell did I hear that and click “like” on it?)
    • (“I have no recollection of this place.”)
    • (And if you don’t picture Gandalf along with that quote … maybe we can’t be friends.)
    • Speaking of Friends: Focus group time!
    • Thinking about paying $3/month to follow Poorly Drawn Lines on Patreon, because that dude makes me laugh and I want more.
    • You think these lists would sell?
    • Exploring options to get paid to write without a corporate/higher-ed middleman.
    • Part of the plan.
    • Plan the path to freedom.
    • How does any metal band think to write a song called “Flying Whales?”
    • Have a weekend.
    • Embrace the chaos.
    • For good.
    • Chaotic Good.
    • …

    Alternate title: Bread Fans

  • Some of Those Who Work Forces

    Some of Those Who Work Forces

    • Yeah, hi.
    • I did write a … wait.
    • I didn’t write yesterday’s …
    • Wait.
    • I started this yesterday, but did not post.
    • TIME TRAVEL FOR DUMMIES.
    • And then I stopped, set the lappy aside, and watched the rest of Dept. Q, which has fantastic characters.
    • I hope they make a couple more seasons of that.
    • Anyway.
    • Sitting here in the couch spot, writing.
    • And surfing, because goddammit, though I don’t want to, I start my days looking at social.
    • (Insert a lot more swearing.)
    • Looked at Hamby’s post this morning.
    • And now I’m listening to Rage Against the Machine.
    • How is it only 9:42 a.m.?
    • “Killing in the Name”
    • Anthemic.
    • (Well, it’s mine anyway. Especially now, after the awakening.)
    • I mean, depending on your stance, this song (and most their songs), seem particularly relevant at the moment.
    • Tom was a Harvard political science grad, after all.
    • Actually played that out loud.
    • I’ll shut if off now.
    • No need to drag Steph down the hole with me.
    • Oddly enough, I have no Rage Against the Machine merch.
    • The only band shirts I have are Tool and Metallica.
    • Which are my most listened-to bands.
    • But I probably should have a Rage one in the quiver.
    • I’m planning on going to the Woody Guthrie museum and picking up a hat.
    • (You might be able to guess which one …)
    • I’ve said it before, but now’s the golden age of t-shirts and merch.
    • There is a lot of crap, however.
    • Most of it is crap.
    • Sturgeon’s Law.
    • Like some jackass with Canva thinks they’re a designer and can make and sell t-shirts based off some lame template with a terrible font.
    • Or they’re just throwing up shops of AI-designed bullshit.
    • AI isn’t the way, people.
    • It’s another way to put people out of jobs.
    • To take the humanity out of everything.
    • For profit.
    • And then what?
    • They let machines and AI take all the white-collar jobs.
    • Do they really think we’re going to be cool with the rich fucks sitting there on beaches and yachts while the rest of us, what, work …
    • What work?
    • You can’t manufacture endless shit people won’t be able to afford.
    • The path we’re on is not the right one.
    • …
    • Dammit, Hamby.
    • The running joke about me is that I’m always angry.
    • That pic I ran yesterday, the greeting card thing, yeah … that’s probably closer to the truth.
    • And Vollertsen’s constant pointing out my idealism.
    • That’s where my “anger” comes from.
    • I cannot stand the cruelty in our society.
    • I cannot stand the presumptions that govern behavior, those attempts to put ourselves above others, that some of us are doing it the “right” way and deserve it more than someone not doing it “right.”
    • We should be focused on putting policies in place that provide opportunities for everyone.
    • We don’t.
    • Everyone’s morning affirmations should include, “I am not better than anyone else.”
    • Angry.
    • Frustrated is a better descriptor.
    • I get angry about injustice.
    • Inequality.
    • About motherfuckers trying to make their business my own, their view the only one, their path my path.
    • Cut the shit, people.
    • Focus on empathy.
    • Do right for others when you can.
    • Make the world better, because it sure as fuck is not at the moment.
    • I have a 17 y.o. FFS.
    • This is the world she gets to live in?
    • Are you kidding me?
    • I need to send her to the Sarah Conner school of life.
    • …
    • Hi.
    • There’s a lot of stuff I consider writing about in the List, and then don’t.
    • I have this problem at work for sure.
    • But even out here, where I’m “free,” I refrain.
    • Like … we could be talking about pooping.
    • Do you KNOW what it’s like to be on antibiotics for two months?
    • I have stories, man.
    • I tell them to Pryor, because we’ve been trading that kind of nonsense for 48 years.
    • 48 years!!
    • What I’m saying is that meds have inspired me to spend a lot of time in or near bathrooms.
    • To the point where Ginny the Cat accompanies me, lays on the mat in front of the shower and slow blinks at me.
    • The hell, cat.
    • Yes, she’s protecting me.
    • From … the turd monsters?
    • This morning, she tried to climb into the toilet.
    • We’ve had her a year, (almost a year?), and she’s only just now coming around.
    • We know she was a breeder cat.
    • The hell did they do to her?
    • Never hold her?
    • Never let her out of the crate?
    • She’s laying on the couch next to me at the moment.
    • Not against me, mind you, but … close.
    • Meanwhile, Liho (my cat), is walking from room to room caterwauling.
    • Ask not for whom the Cat squalls, it squalls for thee.
    • I talk to Liho when she does this.
    • Discuss what her issues might be.
    • She shuts up then.
    • For a bit.
    • At night, when we feed the cats their wet food, there are two phases of her noise making.
    • The first comes about halfway through her food.
    • We think it is her song of joy, telling us how much she loves the food, giving thanks to her providers.
    • Or it could be her going, “What is this shit you feed me every night? This, again. I hope you rot in Human Hell.”
    • Then she cries again when she’s finished to be let out of the kitchen.
    • We have to keep them separated while they eat.
    • Ginny hoovers hers up and then goes for Liho’s.
    • Liho beats Ginny up many times a day, or acts aggressively with swats, rushes, and hisses.
    • When food’s involved, however, she lets Ginny bully her out of the way.
    • The hell, cats?
    • Another day, another dodge of the Hollywood rant.
    • Someday.
    • Will it be worth the wait?
    • Probably not.
    • What else?
    • Going to be an action-packed weekend.
    • Steph’s birthday is Monday.
    • It always falls in or around Father’s Day.
    • Got that.
    • Got other things going on, too.
    • Stuff to write.
    • Hoping I get the car back again today.
    • Taking the kiddo shopping tomorrow.
    • I think.
    • Now I’m just stretching this out.
    • List record length.
    • 1011 words (well, it was, then I went back through it “editing.”)
    • OMG
    • Did I waste your time?
    • No one’s making you read.
    • (Queue Rage …)
    • I gotta go shoot up anyway, so you’re off the hook.
    • I hope the weekend finds you before I do.

  • Rabbit Hole

    Rabbit Hole

    • One of the things I’ve had to go back and work on for my novel … character sheets.
    • I can see the characters in my head but reading while I’m revising, a lot of them are 2-D.
    • I noticed a lack of presence and flat dialogue.
    • Which means they’re placeholders and need to be fixed.
    • Annoying af.
    • Another speedbump in the struggle of writing a book.
    • That kind of thing was easier in the one I tried to write before.
    • At least it seemed so at the time.
    • Also a time when that was all I needed to worry about.
    • The job was to write, not to … job.
    • Anyway, character dictates plot as much as plot dictates character.
    • Kaia plotting everything down to the tiniest detail shone a light on why it’s taken me so long to write the goddamn book.
    • I get stuck because I did not do the pre-work.
    • I’m not a Pantser, as it turns out.
    • Exposition: allegedly there are two kinds of novelists – Plotters and Pantsers.
    • Plotters plan.
    • Pantsers pull it out of their asses.
    • Sorry, “write by the seat of their pants.”
    • That’s what Stephen King does, btw.
    • I bet he does not write character synopses.
    • I can’t sit here in these lists and criticize novels and movies for lack of character depth when I’m not doing it in my own work.
    • Don’t get me wrong.
    • Just because characters are flat does not mean the work won’t be entertaining.
    • There are fucktons of IPs where we have basic characters and the thing is about the plot/spectacle.
    • Fun, but disposable.
    • Beach books, right?
    • But your audience develops shallower emotional involvement when the characters are flat.
    • Which means the rollercoaster ride has to be perfect.
    • I’d rather have both, you know?
    • It’s like marketing: if you’re not creating an emotional connection to the property, no one’s going to remember (or return/buy your thing again).
    • (This is why most commercials are dogshit, btw.)
    • (Brand loyalty is an emotional response to a product or business.)
    • (Coke or Pepsi?)
    • (Favorite sports team?)
    • (I could do a whole list, or series of lists, on what makes for successful marketing, and you would not believe the amount of emotional manipulation that makes the good stuff good.)
    • My book is not literature, it’s a pulpy YA adventure.
    • Book one of a trilogy.
    • The heroine is 15 in book one, 17 in book two, and 19 in book three.
    • This is no kiddie story, but it begins when she’s youngish.
    • And she’s a she because way back when this was a short story, not a novel, Kaia said, “Why isn’t he a girl?”
    • Which is also how this became FOR her instead of for me.
    • I just thought the idea was cool.
    • Couple of kids break into a sorceress’s home.
    • Getting back out turns out to be harder.
    • This has been more difficult than writing my Master’s thesis.
    • However.
    • Progress!
    • I’m kinda pissed it’s taken me six weeks to make headway on it.
    • Head had to clear up a bit I guess.
    • We’re rollin’ now.
    • Obstacles being removed.
    • Hold fast.
    • You know, they say you’re less likely to complete a goal if you talk about it.
    • Like, I’m less likely to finish the book because I’ve talked about it to people.
    • F.
    • Too late, right?
    • Writing is a largely solitary effort.
    • You with a keyboard in a room alone.
    • Sometimes, however, you need to talk about it.
    • Need feedback.
    • Need holes shot in your thinking.
    • 17 chapters to go.
    • That’s where we’re at.
    • And then we revise.
    • (This is another of those lists written the day before.)
    • (Most of it.)
    • (Yes, sometimes, I write two in a day.)
    • (Like I’ve said before, this is compulsory.)
    • (And the freedom has been inspirational and motivational.)
    • (I’m not going to finish this one yesterday, however.)
    • Anyway, character sheets.
    • One of the how-to books I read on novel writing had you do all this character pre-work.
    • Role.
    • Values.
    • Ambition.
    • Goal.
    • …
    • But all I can think of are D&D character sheets.
    • It’s a struggle not to give them ability scores and proficiencies.
    • I am giving them alignments.
    • Because, duh.
    • Shorthand for values and general demeanor.
    • At least when you’ve trafficked in alignment labels for 40 years.
    • Go find a D&D alignment quiz out there on the Web.
    • (I’d do it for you, but the link would only be good on the blog, not FB, and … c’mon, you can web on your own.)
    • (Okay, fine.)
    • I’m Chaotic Good.
    • Got a t-shirt and everything.
    • Yippie-ki-yay.
    • My favorite descriptor of that alignment: “The right thing, the wrong way.”
    • Wrong’s a strong word, and I disagree with it in this context.
    • Who’re you to tell me I’m wrong?
    • It’s only wrong because you think you’re right.
    • (Said all I needed to say on the opening topic.)
    • (Maybe I’ll get to the chickenshit Hollywood bit …)
    • Honestly I took one of those tests just now and came up True Neutral, but that does not fit my internal narrative.
    • I feel I should mansplain it a bit.
    • When you’re doing an RPG, the alignment you assign to your character dictates how they act.
    • Say they’re Lawful Good, then they’d be a Dudley Doright kind of person.
    • Chaotic Evil would be a megalomaniac.
    • Chaotic Good would be … John McClain or Henry Jones, Jr.
    • It’s like a game version of Myers-Briggs.
    • Okay, yeah.
    • I may post another of these later that’s a little more … in line with what we’ve been doing.
    • This one’s like a writer’s nerd rabbit hole.
    • I need like a song rec or something.
    • Uh …
    • “Death Do Us Part,” Royal and the Serpent.

  • What a Load of Crap

    What a Load of Crap

    • Might be a short one.
    • I write about cars a lot.
    • Used to love them.
    • Now I kinda hate them.
    • Which started with the Mini.
    • The car that put me in a massive debt hole.
    • I’m still paying for repairs on that car.
    • I haven’t owned it since 2018.
    • Traded it for the Subaru, which has been a pretty good car.
    • At least until February.
    • Took it in for a tune-up after the trip to the Mayo.
    • The tune-up resulted in the engine blowing.
    • I left out some mechanic trips in the middle, but, ah, there you go.
    • I finally got it back last Friday.
    • Had not visibly seen it since March.
    • This morning, I started it to go to my infusion clinic visit at St. Francis.
    • Check Engine light.
    • GFD.
    • I shut it off, went back in the house and got Steph’s keys, drove the Pilot to the appt.
    • On the way, someone turned out in front of me, close enough I had to lock up the brakes to not hit them.
    • I honked.
    • They stopped their car in the road in front of me, rolled down their window, and flipped me off.
    • What in the fuck is the matter with people?
    • Especially driving.
    • Selfishness?
    • Complete lack of road awareness?
    • I had to tell the nurse not to take my blood pressure for a while.
    • Now I … don’t want to write.
    • I’m doing it anyway.
    • Because habits don’t do themselves.
    • Is it hard for everyone to pull out of a bad mood nosedive?
    • Is that just me?
    • Could be just me.
    • Systemic exacerbation.
    • A bad habit of easy provocation.
    • The comfort of habitualized anger and frustration.
    • (I made up a word there, apparently.)
    • (WTFE. Shakespeare did it all the time.)
    • (Not that I’m Shakespeare.)
    • If you’re easily provoked, you’re easily manipulated.
    • Which, you know, everyone is trying to do to us these days.
    • I dislike the thought of being manipulated.
    • Another anger trigger.
    • Life’s hard, y’all.
    • NP: Metallica, “The Outlaw Torn.”
    • I know fans revolted when they released Load.
    • It fostered a time when it was not cool to be a Metallica fan.
    • I listened to that album a lot.
    • Still do.
    • (Eagerly awaiting the re-mastered edition that comes out this week.)
    • Came out the June after I graduated from OSU.
    • Some of those songs are so damn good.
    • “Bleeding Me”
    • “Hero of the Day”
    • “The Outlaw Torn”
    • Not metal.
    • So?
    • Everyone crying about them not making another Master of Puppets.
    • Braver as an artist to make what you want instead of trying to please the fans over and over again.
    • They’re making the music, not you.
    • You don’t have to like it.
    • Don’t have to listen.
    • Anyway.
    • That’s ranty.
    • The … she’s not a nurse, really, but the woman who always takes my blood pressure, when taking it the first time today (was high, obviously) asked me if I liked tools.
    • “What?”
    • “Your shirt.”
    • “Oooh. No that’s one of my bands.”
    • “What?”
    • “Tool. They’re a band.”
    • “There’s a band named Tool?”
    • She’s older. I could see her not knowing.
    • But then, the nurse re-doing my dressing, and younger than me, said, “Oh, I did not know that either.”
    • …
    • I mean, put me in the home already I guess?
    • Goddammit.
    • You know what?
    • I don’t care.
    • Embrace the aging.
    • Do not go gentle, right?
    • (I’m going to beat that dead horse. It’s part of the tattoo plan, which Steph added to recently.)
    • (More excitement. I just have to talk the hematologist into it.)
    • Watched Sinners last night.
    • Not bad.
    • I think Jordan overacts a bit.
    • But wasn’t bad.
    • Vampires and a bit of Southern Gothic magic.
    • The end-credit scene might’ve been better than the movie.
    • Kaia dug it.
    • Wanted to talk about it when it was finished.
    • Apparently she always wants to talk about movies she likes.
    • Gotta push her to do it.
    • C’mon, kid, out with your opinions!
    • Unleash the hounds!
    • We had a good talk.
    • Even as she liked it a lot, she picked it to pieces.
    • The evaluator/critic is strong in her.
    • Proud dad moment.
    • Been a lot of those lately.
    • The outline for her … fan-fiction epic is like 90-pages long?
    • Not going to get hung up on what comes next when she’s writing.
    • We’ve had a lot of creative progress around here lately.
    • Don’t want to talk about the no-hitter much.
    • Strange things are afoot …
    • Discord thing of the week so far: “We don’t trust those who don’t think in movie quotes.”
    • I will get back on that horse.
    • Your life would be shit without creatives doing what they do.
    • They should be paid properly and accorded the credit they deserve.
    • That’s a List Motif, btw, since a lot of you are newish and playing the home game.
    • Do not take art in any form for granted.
    • It’s hard to create, no matter the form.
    • It enriches our lives.
    • Makes them bearable.
    • Better.
    • It should be celebrated, and creators rewarded.
    • If we’re not doing that …
    • I’m out.
    • Have the Tuesday you deserve.

    And I still haven’t written about Hollywood being creatively chickenshit … Sigh. Still on the TBW list.

  • “… In a Burger King Bathroom …”

    “… In a Burger King Bathroom …”

    • So this happened.
    • Made sliders for dinner on the griddle.
    • Retired to the tv room.
    • We have one of those L-shaped sectionals.
    • The kid occupies the corner.
    • She’s the “corner troll.”
    • She’s working on the plot and structure of her fan fiction novel.
    • Steph took one side, feet facing the kid, and surfing whatever app she surfs when she’s on her phone.
    • Some cursed Meta product probably.
    • I have no idea.
    • I think she was surfin’ the ‘gram.
    • A snippet of “Wild Thing” blared out.
    • It wasn’t Tone.
    • Someone’s modern redo.
    • I found the original on Spotify.
    • Because sometimes, when you hear a snippet, it demands the real thing.
    • Know what I mean?
    • And then I played Biz’s “Just a Friend.”
    • And then … well, we’ll see. It’s still happening. I’m writing it past tense, but as it is happening.
    • (Narrative time travel is a common occurrence in the safe-for-work List.)
    • Kaia said, “Is it almost over?”
    • I gotta do Young MC next.
    • And then maybe Too Short (“Life is …”
    • Maybe some Kool Moe Dee (“Wild Wild West”)
    • LL Cool J (“Going Back to Kali”)
    • Run DMC (“It’s Tricky”)
    • Sir Mix-A-Lot (“Posse on Broadway”)
    • Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock!! (“It Takes Two”)
    • Digital Underground (“Humpty Dance”)
    • N.W.A. (“Straight Outta Compton”)
    • Ict T (“Colors”)
    • Public Enemy! (“Fight the Power”)
    • I put in my earbuds after Biz.
    • I mean, damn, “Humpty Dance” still slays.
    • That bassline. So good.
    • Even on the ear pods.
    • I’ll eat up all your crackers and your licorice.
    • Heh.
    • Man, rappers were not shy about rapping about sex, were they?
    • I thought my childhood was a bastion of prudish censorship.
    • PMRC, right?
    • We Did have Two Live Crew, though, and my memory is for shit.
    • DEAR LORT, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
    • The right earbud just stopped playing sound.
    • (Insert Darth Vader’s “Noooooooo” soundbite here.)
    • I have troubleshot it for 30 minutes.
    • No dice.
    • Fuck.
    • I can’t wear the Heavys because they’ll crush my not-healed skull!
    • I could go get the bone conductors, I suppose.
    • But people can hear that, and the sound is garbage compared to the Pixel buds.
    • I may be desperate.
    • Okay, I am.
    • I am desperate.
    • Nooooooooo.
    • I donned the Shokz.
    • And now “Jam on It” is playing.
    • Francis and I played the hell out of this song.
    • It’s what was available.
    • We also listened to Kraftwerk.
    • A lot.
    • But lots of early rap.
    • Hell, we played “Funky Cold Medina” in James’s LeMans just to hear the bass.
    • (Because he had a subwoofer in a box that took up half the back seat, obviously.)
    • (That song … is about dosing girls’ drinks? The hell, man.)
    • (These damn headphones have no bass.)
    • (What is the point of that?)
    • (I gotta go try the Pixel buds again … maybe they’ve had a change of status, decided to suck less.)
    • I’m screwed in the zombie apocalypse is what I’m saying.
    • You, me, and the Starbucks girl have already discussed that.
    • You couldn’t even wrap yourself in solar chargers because none of the music services would be functioning.
    • All you’d have are the songs you’ve downloaded to your device.
    • And even then, those scurvy shyster bastards probably have code that won’t let you play the music if you don’t tag into the server on occasion.
    • I do not own a discman anymore.
    • See?
    • This is what happens when you have my brain, and it did this before the tumor.
    • Why am I not playing the music through the laptop speakers?
    • Well, the sound is okay, but not great.
    • It would annoy the kid.
    • Maybe Steph, too.
    • Trying to be considerate.
    • But goddammit, I need my music.
    • Please don’t stop the, please don’t stop the music …
    • This is how I lose it.
    • …
    • See?
    • Not metal all the time.
    • Most the time.
    • But not all the time.
    • That Rihanna song is on a playlist.
    • Heard it today.
    • Well, yesterday.
    • It’s only today for me.
    • It’ll be yesterday for you.
    • Tomorrow, currently.
    • Yes, I hunted down an ‘80s hip-hop playlist.
    • I can’t remember all of these, but I know ‘em when I hear ‘em.
    • I know all the words to so many of these songs.
    • By heart.
    • I’m on a mission, you better just listen …
    • What the hell have I done.
    • Maybe this will be the theme of the week.
    • I’m going to bring up all the earworms from our GenX youth.
    • Maybe tomorrow tomorrow, we’ll get neck-deep in hair metal.
    • You’re safe in some regards.
    • You know I’m not wading into that pop music bullshit.
    • I only post things on Facebook to people on my Friends list.
    • I do not share with the world in that place.
    • I do on the blog, but its viewing potential is smaller.
    • Why?
    • Because I generally don’t want to deal with the bots, trolls, and assholes of the world.
    • I gotta get over that.
    • You don’t build an audience by catering to the one you already have.
    • I need to build a larger audience to enact pieces of The Plan.
    • Mostly targeted at GenXers and early Millennials, obviously.
    • Taking advantage of those shared life experiences and nostalgia.
    • Like, no one who wears a fucking flat-billed ballcap is going to buy into my bullshit, you know?
    • We debated with a couple about that at a pizza place once.
    • Were there for someone’s birthday.
    • Bro had one of those on.
    • Him in his flat-bill, me in my “dad cap.”
    • I thought he looked stupid.
    • That’s me being judgmental, which we talked about last week.
    • My opinion’s irrelephant.
    • You do you.
    • Have a Monday.

  • Book Pushing

    Book Pushing

    Someone on the Discord server asked for fantasy book recs, so I dug through my Kindle and made a list of stuff I enjoyed. The Lies of Locke Lamora is my favorite fantasy novel of the last 20 years, probably. And yeah, I left off a bunch of the gimmies. No Martin, no Sanderson. Lynch is better than both of them. Anyway, stuff I liked. There’re holes, obviously, but it’s a start, right?

    Traditional:

    ·      The Lies of Locke Lamora, Scott Lynch

    ·      The Name of the Wind, Patrick Rothfuss

    ·      Codex Alera (series), Jim Butcher

    ·      The Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan

    ·      Red Sister, Mark Lawrence

    ·      Black Company (series), Glen Cook

    ·      Cold Iron, Miles Cameron

    ·      The Emperor’s Blades, Brian Staveley

    ·      Six of Crows, Leigh Bardugo

    ·      Heroes Die, Matthew Stover

    ·      The Belgariad (if you haven’t), David Eddings (don’t read up on Eddings, btw. dude was a sicko.)

    Urban:

    ·      Dresden Files (series; start at book 4 to get you hooked), Jim Butcher

    ·      Ninth House, Leigh Bardugo

    ·      An Unkindness of Magicians, Kat Howard

    ·      Rivers of London (series), Ben Aaronovitch

    ·      Alex Verus series, Benedict Jacka

    ·      Book of Night, Holly Black

    ·      The Rook, Daniel O’Malley

    ·      Last Call, Tim Powers (Tim’s brilliant, btw)

    ·      Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman (dammit, Neil)

    Scholastic (like they go to a magic school):

    ·      A Deadly Education (series), Naomi Novik 

    ·      The Magicians, Lev Grossman

    I dunno what to call these:

    ·      The Night Circus, Erin Morgenstern (loved this book, btw)

    ·      The Near Witch, V.E. Schwab

    ·      The Craft Sequence, Max Gladstone

    ·      A Night in Lonesome October, Roger Zelazny (read in October, chapter a day)

    ·      Colors of Magic (series), V.E. Schwab

    LitRPG:

    ·      Dungeon Crawler Carl (series), Matt Dinnamin

    ·      Cradle (series), Will Wight

    “Cozy” fantasy:

    ·      Legends and Lattes, Travis Baldree

    Liked, but didn’t love:

    ·      The Will of the Many, James Islington