skepticlysm

Tag: health

  • Sausage … No, nm. Not Doing That.

    Sausage … No, nm. Not Doing That.

    • Always start off with the most ineffective opening line you can.
    • That gives readers a ready excuse to bail.
    • “Nah, man, that first line was boring as fuck. Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
    • A lot of my opening bullets are crap.
    • Because I’m trying to get my brain working.
    • My fingers moving.
    • Why do I not go back and delete them?
    • I have no idea.
    • Half the time, I don’t edit at all.
    • Though I have started in the aftermath of the John McClain (McClane) fiasco.
    • Typos make you look dumb.
    • Or that you don’t care.
    • Honestly, the truth about typos is … even sometimes when you reread, your brain fixes the typo and you don’t notice it.
    • I read once that as long as the word is the right length with the right letters, your brain knows what the word is.
    • Madness if true.
    • Brains are cray.
    • Srsly.
    • (No, I don’t know why I’m doing that.)
    • (Trying to be clever.)
    • (Hahaha … ha .. F.)
    • I planned on opening with an excuse, because I almost didn’t do a list today.
    • Was one thing after another, including, and this is my favorite, taking my car back to the shop … again.
    • I got it back yesterday.
    • After having to take it back a week and a half ago.
    • After it having been gone for two months.
    • Don’t buy a WRX is what I’m saying.
    • They’re growly.
    • They have manual transmissions.
    • They’re pretty reliable if you don’t drive them like a 20yo.
    • However.
    • If they break.
    • If they break bad.
    • You’re focked.
    • Got it back yesterday, or maybe the day before, and did not realize the a/c was not cool on the driver’s side of the car.
    • The passenger side, yes.
    • Worked before I took it in to have the motor replaced.
    • And today’s heat index was in the 100s somewhere.
    • Sigh.
    • I’m worn out by this.
    • Car-less again.
    • And not from being … careless.
    • …
    • I have always been a pepperoni pizza guy.
    • Don’t get me wrong, as my tastebuds have died off, I’ve tried lots of other pizzas.
    • Love a good supreme, as long as you don’t screw it up with olives and fungus.
    • A couple weeks back, I ordered a thin-crust sausage from Hideaway.
    • I am abdicating my membership in the pepperoni club, effective immediately.
    • Those red bastards are not shunned, but after decades, they have lost the top spot.
    • Also, no more of those “normal” or hand-tossed crusts.
    • Right out.
    • Thin is in.
    • (For eating, not for being, because until the prednisone is gone, I can’t do that.)
    • Soon.
    • Yes, I know I wrote about pizza like two weeks ago.
    • A week-and-a-half ago?
    • Man, I’m oldish.
    • Repeating yourself is an age-earned badge of pride.
    • …
    • Finished up the fifth Dungeon Crawler Carl book.
    • It’s good stuff.
    • I’m still only halfway through the latest Hunger Games prequel.
    • And I downloaded a bunch of samples yesterday.
    • Because I’ve been reading a lot on “house arrest.”
    • (Procrastination, right?)
    • Here’s the thing.
    • If you’re not doing a lot, experiencing a lot, reading a lot, you have jack to write about.
    • Like a lot of music talk because that’s what I’ve been doing.
    • A lot of viewing discussion, because that’s what I’ve been doing in the evenings.
    • We finished “Ginny and Georgia” today.
    • Latest season.
    • Well done soap, really.
    • Like I said yesterday, if you’re in the room, it is hard not to pay attention.
    • If it’s bad, it’ll drive you from the room.
    • If it’s not, you’ll get sucked in.
    • We typically do delayed gratification with shows we like, even when they release the whole season at once.
    • Did that with Dept. Q, too.
    • Though … it might be about choice, too.
    • Like, we watched the latest episode of Murderbot 20 minutes ago, and those things are only 24 minutes long.
    • Every ep has been good so far, to the point when they end, we kinda want to throw popcorn at the screen for it ending too soon.
    • (We don’t have popcorn, typically.)
    • I mean, what’s with the AMC not letting you go to concessions and not buy a $10 bucket of popcorn (that only costs them >$.50 to make)?
    • Used to, you could do that.
    • Not anymore.
    • Lame.
    • May switch allegiance to Cinemark.
    • Back to Cinemark.
    • I worked at a Cinemark for three (four?) years.
    • Good memories.
    • Could write one of those ‘90s movies like Empire Records about the gang we had there.
    • The Neon bowties … no.
    • There’s a legit reason I hate ties, is what I’m saying.
    • Also another legit reason I get obsessed with movies though that has waned a bit recently.
    • “Back in my day,” he said, raising his wrinkled fist at the heavens.
    • Part of my day I spent at the hospital listening to a presentation on hip and knee replacement surgeries.
    • Not for me, obviously.
    • “That would be more than I could bear.” – Doc Holiday
    • As I listened, it occurred to me how much medical science has advanced.
    • Have your hip replaced, walk the same day.
    • Now, if only we could, you know, afford that without being shackled to some kind of insurance …
    • Healthcare for all, perhaps?
    • Anyway …
    • …
    • Well, that totally derailed my train of thought
    • Squirrel!
    • No, seriously, we should have universal healthcare.
    • Don’t believe the corporate bullshit.
    • Bamboozled.
    • No, I’m not trying to end this in a political debate.
    • Besides which, that one should not be up for debate.
    • …
    • A car without A/C on a day like today.
    • Gross.
    • First the weather.
    • Then myself.
    • And now it’s shower time.
    • After the meds, anyway.
    • Out!

  • MFing Mondays

    MFing Mondays

    • I have done gummies once.
    • When Brad visited a year ago.
    • Was fun, actually.
    • Have not since.
    • Do not want to do that with my kid in the house, for one.
    • For another, I did not sleep worth a damn after.
    • Prior to that, only alcohol.
    • Never wanted to experiment with drugs.
    • Just Say No worked on me.
    • And other negative substance abuse influences in my life.
    • You go one of two ways with that kind of thing.
    • I bring this up because … Had an MRI this morning.
    • I can’t do MRIs without having valium.
    • Panic attacks ensue.
    • Hell, I had a panic attack while ON a valium during an MRI once.
    • I never thought I was claustrophobic, but … maybe?
    • Anyway, we’re still riding the valium wave.
    • A bit.
    • They don’t tend to stay with me very long.
    • Two hours, tops.
    • I started having panic attacks when the kid was about nine months old.
    • If you’ve never had one, I hope you don’t.
    • Because it feels like you’re dying.
    • When they first started, my doc gave me a script for Xanax.
    • First time I took one of those, I understood how people became addicted to drugs.
    • That was the most relaxed I have ever been in my entire life, before or since.
    • Peace and mindfulness in a pill.
    • In the course of all this medical drama, I’ve had Oxy.
    • Does nothing for me.
    • Not any better than Tylenol.
    • Xanax did not cure my panic attacks, btw.
    • Nor did buspirone.
    • Kali and JKD did.
    • Martial arts.
    • I can’t adequately explain the level of emotional confidence and control martial arts gave me.
    • Granted, I was training five days a week, but still.
    • How much of anxiety comes from feeling unsafe?
    • And how much of our coping mechanisms are based around control?
    • You control nothing but yourself.
    • Focus on you.
    • Monday morning MRI.
    • This is what you get.
    • I gotta say, having a PICC has been fantastic for labwork.
    • I haven’t gotten stuck since leaving the Mayo.
    • Annoying to have, but … advantages!
    • Pockets of sunshine!
    • Every time I leave the house, I think about how my skull has not healed shut yet.
    • Like, now would be the worst time to have a car accident, know what I’m sayin’?
    • Would my brains spill out?
    • Started today thinking it might be fun to write a chemically influenced list.
    • It’s not.
    • It’s just whining about medical crap.
    • Everyone have a good weekend?
    • Mine was D&D dominated.
    • Friday and Sunday nights.
    • DMing is stressful.
    • You have to build a story that will be compelling and fun.
    • And you have to be ready to toss it out the window when they do something you did not plan for, which is literally every session.
    • Great for improv development.
    • And storytelling.
    • Should translate to book writing.
    • But man, your head has to be in it.
    • Looking at people and reading the room.
    • Oof.
    • Under pressure.
    • I did have that Old Fashioned finally.
    • Awwww yisssss.
    • Just one.
    • Moderation.
    • You see that study that reported how many parents in America have an alcohol problem?
    • Sigh.
    • At work, writing these, I have a mandate to entertain and uplift.
    • This would not be that, would it?
    • Nothing funny here.
    • Bah.
    • You’re watching Murderbot, right?
    • You have AppleTV, right?
    • Of all the streaming services, they’re making the best content.
    • There’s not a ton of it, but it’s almost all good.
    • And they are definitely the standard bearers for modern sci-fi shows.
    • They’re making Neuromancer.
    • Holy F I cannot wait for that.
    • Amazon did a great job with The Peripheral.
    • Lameass to have cancelled it.
    • But yeah, Murderbot.
    • Read those books while you’re at it
    • I started Sunrise on the Reaping over the weekend.
    • The actual print book.
    • I haven’t read a printed book in more than a year because of all this eye bullshit.
    • Book’s pretty good so far.
    • Talked to Kaia about it.
    • Her take is that the writing is okay, but the story’s good.
    • So I asked her what books had her favorite prose:
    • Gallant
    • Song of Achilles
    • We are All So Good at Smiling
    • I’ve read one of those (Song of Achilles).
    • She’s not wrong on that one for sure.
    • And V.E. Schwab usually writes good stuff (Gallant).
    • I think that Smiling is verse?
    • A whole novel written as a poem?
    • Holy crap.
    • Steph just asked Kaia and me what our favorite literary devices were.
    • I had to have a definition to answer.
    • Stuff like metaphor, foreshadowing, etc.
    • Been a long time since I had a lit class.
    • Oooh, that stuff.
    • I’m not answering here, but it made me think of Hemingway.
    • That story I love of his, “Hills like White Elephants.”
    • On the surface, it’s about a couple waiting at a train station.
    • They talk.
    • There’re implied things.
    • The story itself is about an abortion, but that’s never said, never once stated.
    • It is brilliant.
    • I wonder if the kids of today could even pick up on any of it.
    • Everything has to be explained.
    • Effing over exposition.
    • It is on you to delve deeper, to think critically.
    • You can’t have control of anything if you understand nothing.
    • You can’t ascend if you can’t think for yourself.
    • Motherfucking Monday.
    • I gotta quit.
    • I’ll see you tomorrow.

  • Breach!

    Breach!

    • For the last three weeks, I’ve visited St. Francis’ Infusion Center (or whatever they call it) to have the dressing on the PICC redone.
    • The first two times were pleasant.
    • Had good conversations with my nurses.
    • Got some of that skin-pulling pain as they peeled off the old dressing.
    • Ever notice how some pain feels worse than others?
    • Sharp pain. Acute pain.
    • Sometimes worse than like deep, persistent pain.
    • For a moment.
    • The clinging pain, well … pain don’t hurt.
    • You can get used to anything.
    • It all sucks, but …
    • Anyway.
    • Sitting there, waiting on the nurse dude to start working on my PICC, and there’s a silver-haired lady in the chair next to mine watching some conservative talking jackass blather on about how gun rights and Ted Nugent.
    • Dude literally said Nugent is an unassailable authority on gun rights.
    • Sure.
    • That guy who played guitar and got high is an expert.
    • Gooooo fuck yourself, media guy.
    • And that’s the problem with America.
    • Too much listening to opinions, not enough digesting of actual facts … because people aren’t taught the critical thinking skills to tell the difference.
    • No Heroes.
    • Do not let someone fill in the blanks on your opinions.
    • But also not why we’re here.
    • Shut your shit off in public or put in your headphones.
    •  Much like the biz-bro phone talkers in the airport, the rest of us do not need to listen to your bullshit.
    • Like I said before, we’re in a selfishness pandemic.
    • And the algorithms make it all worse.
    • Goes for me, too.
    • She was probably there getting chemo.
    • Which is way worse than why I was there.
    • I should shut my damn mouth?
    • Fingers?
    • Buy her some ‘phones in case I see her again.
    • Pair them for her.
    • Something.
    • Just another MADNESS MONDAY.
    • Hi, guys.
    • What’s happenin’.
    • All I have today are rants.
    • Like, I have one percolating about “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
    • I’m not doing it today.
    • But soon.
    • One of my guy friends, Phil, sent me a text today.
    • And I might as well just admit things and move along.
    • His text: “Have you read Fourth Wing?”
    • …
    • F.
    • Yes, yes I have.
    • When the first book dropped, I had, no joke, four different people at work tell me I had to read it.
    • All women, but I did not pay attention to that at the time.
    • Four people in one week tell you to read a book, well, you go try it out.
    • It’s a “Romantacy,” which is a genre still kinda in its infancy.
    • Fantasy about fighters who bond with dragons with a whole steamy “romance” in the middle.
    • Prose is eh. Beach-read level.
    • World-building is pretty good.
    • The romance part is … not something you read in books written by dudes.
    • I was like, “wait, this is what the women read? Good lord, this is an instructional manual.”
    • For … intimate relations.
    • Like, how do I have conversations about these books?
    • Am I supposed to feel guilty?
    • (I don’t, btw.)
    • The Anita Blake books by Laurell K. Hamilton tread this territory, too.
    • They became less story and more … Penthouse Forums or Letters or whatever that was called.
    • Which got boring, honestly.
    • Anyway.
    • I find this all interesting.
    • The difference in stories told by women and men.
    • Guys, it would seem we are way more … inhibited … than the women folk.
    • Or lack imagination.
    • Or perhaps fundamentally neglect their needs.
    • Food for thought.
    • Now, see, this is not what I would write about at work.
    • Maybe I shouldn’t here, either, but screw it.
    • I may have mentioned this, but my perspective on the world and my life has been irrevocably altered by the surgery.
    • Do not go gentle, remember?
    • One thing to say it.
    • Type it.
    • Another to live it.
    • Going to have to learn how, to overcome those behavioral habits.
    • If you want to achieve something new, you can’t keep doing it the way you always have.
    • And inertia is a helluva thing to overcome.
    • That works both ways, however.
    • Use it or lose it.
    • …
    • I can’t end with a damn cliché.
    • Last of Us has been good.
    • Billie’s coming to Tulsa.
    • Going.
    • Not even ashamed by that a little.
    • Billie’s a badass.
    • I hope we get to go, anyway.
    • She might be too much of a badass to afford to go.
    • If Spotify paid artists fairly, maybe they wouldn’t have to charge so much for their shows …
    • F.
    • Money doesn’t talk, it sucks.
    • I wish I hadn’t already used the Disrespectre.
    • (It’s right there on my laptop beside the trackpad. Every time I lift my hands I see the ghost flipping me off. Makes me laugh every damn time.)
    • (wickedclothes.com)
    • Feeling scrappy today.
    • Fight your Monday!
    • Once more into the breach!