skepticlysm

Tag: shakespeare

  • Car Trouble

    Car Trouble

    • So there I was driving my mom’s black Honda minivan, dropping off the Teenager at school. 
    • Metallica’s “Damage, Inc.” blasting through the van’s lame, tinny speakers. 
    • Wearing my old sunglasses (because they’re prescription and I have to have them.)
    • Lamenting the lack of window tinting because, even in the best of times in the best of cars, I do not like people looking at me. 
    • (Not just in cars.) 
    • (Introverts! Unite!) 
    • (I know, no one is actually looking at me.) 
    • Thinking, “Dear lort, this is what my life has come to.” 
    • “Dude, why are you driving your mom’s minivan,” you might be thinking. 
    • I’m glad you imaginarily asked. 
    • (Let’s not unpack this … for now.) 
    • (Maybe someday.) 
    • (But notthenow.) 
    • I typically roll around in a black Subaru. 
    • 6-speed manual.
    • Have not really kept up with the maintenance on it because that stuff is expensive. 
    • It recently hit the 100k mileage mark. 
    • So, it needed some care.  
    • And we need the car to be road-trip ready. 
    • The car does not have a timing belt, but a timing chain.  
    • So that’s nice. 
    • It got a tune-up, which was much less expensive than I was expecting. 
    • But there’s where the fun started. 
    • Got the tune-up, but then there were oil spots on my driveway. 
    • Took it back. 
    • Fixed. 
    • Took it home. 
    • A/C did not work. 
    • Took it back. 
    • Fixed. 
    • Took it home. 
    • On the way home, getting on the highway, the thing started backfiring, the throttle cut out, and the check engine light came on. 
    • Took it back. 
    • I do not believe this is the garage’s fault, mind you. 
    • Sometimes, when you monkey with a thing that’s been fine, you mess it up worse. 
    • That’s probably in a life manual somewhere. 
    • “If it ain’t broke …” 
    • What I’m saying is that … I hate cars now. 
    • And I used to be a gearhead.  
    • I miss my first car something awful. 
    • (Was a 1967 Camaro.) 
    • I sold it my freshman year of college because I could not afford to drive it. 
    • Thing only got like six or seven miles to the gallon.  
    • It shook the earth at stoplights. 
    • And was wicked fast in the quarter mile. 
    • Also, I could actually fix it myself. 
    • I could crawl under that car and swap the starter in less than 15 minutes without any help. 
    • Opening the hood on the Subaru?  
    • Yeah, no.  
    • Anyway, I could not rebuy the Camaro now for less than $25,000. 
    • Should’ve just thrown it under a tarp at my parents’ house. 
    • Live and learn. 
    • Yesterday, I had occasion to do some word-swapping of Coleridge’s “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” on social media. 
    • Being a word nerd in high school … 
    • Okay, being a nerd in high school, I loved that poem.  
    • First, Iron Maiden made it into a 15-minute song. 
    • Second, it totally vibes with D&D. 
    • Anyway, stuck with me.  
    • “As idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean.” 
    • I’m going to go out on a limb and say the Teenager has never seen that poem. 
    • Shakespeare came up on the ride to school today. 
    • Me: “Have you read any Shakespeare?” 
    • Her: “Not in high school.” 
    • Me: “What?! When was the last time?” 
    • Her: “Middle school.” 
    • Me: “What was it?” 
    • Her: “Othello.” 
    • Me (internally): “What?!” 
    • Me (aloud): “So no MacBeth? What about Midsummer Night’s Dream?” 
    • Her: “We did that in elementary school, but I’m sure it was a simpler version.” 
    • Me: … 
    • Dropped her off. Made a mental note to text my oldest friend, because he’s just about to retire from teaching English. 
    • *The following is edited for work.
    • Me: “Do you guys still teach Shakespeare in high school?” 
    • Him: “I think so. We still had it when I was still teaching English.” 
    • (He’s been teaching speech/communications the past couple of years.) 
    • Me: “The Teenager has not done any Shakespeare since middle school.” 
    • Him: “I’m pretty sure Romeo and Juliet is still on the Freshman curriculum.” 
    • Me: “She has never done that one. Or MacBeth.” 
    • Him: “It’s moved to more skill-based reading. Just passages. Not much full works. The English teachers don’t like it either.” 
    • Me: “I don’t imagine they would.” 
    • Him: “There’s been a push for ‘future read skills.’ Reading endurance has all but been abandoned.” 
    • (Here is where I’d swear a lot.) 
    • Back to the front … I’m not picking on Minivans. 
    • They are terribly useful vehicles. 
    • I just … never saw myself in one? 
    • It violates my self-image? 
    • They are not me. 
    • I’m not picking on you minivan enthusiasts, is what I’m saying. 
    • You do you. 
    • I have a list of things to which I will not go gently. 
    • Minivans are on there. 
    • So are white tennis shoes. 
    • I have issues, man. 
    • This is known. 
    • DID YOU KNOW … if you are playing Spotify when you join a Teams meeting, it’ll broadcast that music to the room?  
    • … Ask me how I know! 
    • Good gravy. 
    • I’m outta here.  
    • Have a Wednesday.