skepticlysm

Tag: writing

  • Random Shit Per Usual

    Random Shit Per Usual

    • Medicine.
    • Both awesome and awful at the same time.
    • Mine’s effing with my sleep.
    • What’s up.
    • How’s everyone this fine Friday?
    • Literally perfect outside.
    • I filled up the Mouse mug with coffee, chased the cat around the backyard.
    • Got a runny nose.
    • Glorious.
    • So.
    • Some of you know I “manage” the social media for my place of employment.
    • What that means is I hired a young millennial to run it for us, and I stay out of her way.
    • However.
    • It means I have to keep up with social media even when I don’t want to.
    • Except for that TikTok bullshit.
    • I’m a Reddit guy personally.
    • One of the many things I hate about Facebook for normies is … no metrics.
    • Like, I know people are reading this bullshit, but unless you click the like button, I have no idea you’re here.
    • People keep responding and I had no idea they’d even read it.
    • Thank you for reading.
    • Trying to build something here.
    • …
    • One of our friends, who is awesome, sent the Wife a text in the form of bullet points.
    • Made me laugh.
    • Welcome to the party?
    • Lol
    • A List is easier for people to read.
    • Appeals to our dopamine-addicted brains.
    • Short. Sweet. To the point.
    • Anyway.
    • The numbers matter to my brain.
    • How big is the audience?
    • At work, that’s all I care about.
    • How many people saw it?
    • How many clicked the thing?
    • Data!
    • Give me data, Watson.
    • Data’s going to factor into my future plans quite a bit.
    • I’m a many splendored nerd is what I’m saying.
    • The Teenager just sent me “Carry Me Home,” by Royal and the Serpent.
    • It is spectacular.
    • (https://open.spotify.com/track/48ccwX9wv8bSSOdb2nKRBK?si=f9265c97c4814dc0)
    • They have songs on the Arcane soundtrack.
    • So good.
    • Like most everything I’ve heard from them.
    • You watched Arcane, right?
    • Might be the most beautifully animated show I’ve ever seen, and it’s loaded with great characters.
    • We’ve watched the whole thing at least twice.
    • I need to get watching Andor.
    • I loved the first season of that show.
    • Might be my favorite Star Wars property ever.
    • F them Jedi.
    • George accidentally made a cool sci-fi universe.
    • Yeah, those laser swords are cool, but … the world is the thing.
    • Man.
    • I am so tired.
    • I let Spotify roll after that song, and now I’m listening to “How Villains are Made,” by Madelen Duke.
    • Good stuff, too.
    • I gotta add stuff to my Femmes playlist is what I’m saying.
    • I keep getting lost in space.
    • Trying to figure out the car, still.
    • Probably going to have to haul it to Edmond for a total engine replacement.
    • What the actual fuck.
    • I just want my car back.
    • Haven’t had it since February.
    • Sigh.
    • Now that my brain’s settling down, it’s time to focus on other bullshit.
    • More debt!
    • Huzzah!
    • This world, man.
    • That’s a little bitter.
    • I get it.
    • But it’s cheaper to fix the car than buy a new one.
    • My forever car at this point.
    • Until my hips won’t let me operate a manual transmission anymore.
    • I love driving manual.
    • I hate doing it around Oklahoma drivers.
    • But that’s another story.
    • I’ve had a five- or six-speed manual car since … like 1997.
    • I will not willingly go into automatic transmission land.
    • Do Not Go Gentle.
    • I’m getting that tatted.
    • I have always wanted one.
    • The brain mass and surgery has changed my attitude on life.
    • Getting a sleeve on my upper left arm.
    • I have a list of elements.
    • I need a gifted tat artist to put it together and give it a unified style.
    • I’m kinda giddy thinking about it.
    • YOLO.
    • Seriously.
    • I know it sounds like all talk, but these lists are just the beginning.
    • I’m changing my life.
    • Buckle up.
    • Heh.
    • You don’t have to pay attention.
    • Honestly.
    • I’m just bullet journaling this shit and Change is coming.
    • Tick tock, mfers.
    • I’m going to need a logo to brand The List.
    • The Discord server is going swimmingly, btw.
    • Nice blend of people in there.
    • I expect it to grow a bit.
    • I’m not sure what’s it’s going to become, though I love the idea of having it when I become a published author.
    • Yeah, I said when.
    • Lol.
    • Enjoy your weekends.
    • And the … pockets of sunshine.

  • But What About Oregon Trail?

    But What About Oregon Trail?

    • My Grandpa Fillmore was the first computer geek I ever knew.
    • This was back when I was like 11 or 12, mind you.
    • He’d had a ton of different jobs, but did tax prep then.
    • So he had one of those early PCs with the two giant floppy disk drives.
    • The first time I used a word processor, and tried to write a fantasy story, was on his computer.
    • He bought me my first computer in college.
    • Hell, he bought me a TI-99 way before that.
    • I learned how to code in BASIC.
    • I’m saying I’m a long-time, hard-coded PC guy.
    • Windows has never inconvenienced me.
    • But then …
    • Up until this year, the last time I bought a PC was in 2014, a Microsoft Surface Pro 3.
    • Pure Windows.
    • No shitty software from another company.
    • Loved that thing
    • But then I didn’t buy anything else for more than a decade.
    • I found myself surfing around on my work laptop, which is no bueno.
    • Thing is, two years ago I got a MacBook Pro for work.
    • I have not worked on a Mac since junior high.
    • And I kinda like that thing.
    • A lot.
    • I have been converted is what I’m saying.
    • What. The. Fuck.
    • I now own one.
    • A MacBook Air.
    • And a PC, but that’s a different story.
    • Kind of like my Grandfather.
    • If you noticed that last name, we’re descendants of President Fillmore.
    • I know jack about that guy.
    • Never really looked him up.
    • The same way I do not know my biological dad, which again is another story entirely.
    • My grandfather was one of the best, greatest men I have ever known.
    • Hell, I lived with him most of my senior year of high school.
    • I miss that man so much.
    • I wish the Teenager had gotten to meet him.
    • He was about 5’9”.
    • Always wore slacks and a button-down shirt with a white tank top beneath.
    • Had a pocket protector with all manner of things in it.
    • Big glasses.
    • Balding head.
    • Used to work for the State employment agency.
    • And own a garage in downtown Sand Springs.
    • Had a yellow Ford Ranchero for a long time.
    • He died while I was in France.
    • …
    • This is a weird one, right?
    • Not a lot of pop culture.
    • I really just started typing to talk about computers.
    • I do not control the stream.
    • I just saw this AI ad on the book of Faces with this tagline: “Working to live? Try living to work!”
    • F You.
    • I am so tired of all this “productivity” bullshit.
    • All these tips on how to make you a better worker … for someone else.
    • I’m sorry, but that’s the Indentured mentality they want you to have.
    • That your worth is what someone else says it is.
    • And all this AI shit.
    • AI can help you as a tool, but it isn’t making you better.
    • Go find those early studies on its effect on chronic users’ ability to think.
    • I can use it to brainstorm.
    • And that’s about it.
    • It’s not better than I am at writing anything yet.
    • And the day it becomes that, the day AI takes over most white collar jobs, they’d better have UBI figured out or they’re not going to like the world version of the French Revolution.
    • …
    • Hi!
    • Goddamn ad.
    • Back when I worked at Urban Tulsa, I had this idea for a screenplay about … a middle class Dr. Marten Luther King/Malcom X thing.
    • Would’ve been the height of middle class white privilege.
    • However …
    • It would’ve been prophetic.
    • That was late ‘90s mind you.
    • Imma stop with that at the moment.
    • Cause we’re getting back to my theme song.
    • You know what I love?
    • Poorly Drawn Lines
    • If you’re not following that comic, you’re missing out.
    • I stick one at the bottom of the TCC student newsletter every week.
    • I hope the guy’s gotten follows and sales from it.
    • It’s funny almost every damn time.
    • Between him and The Oatmeal … I’m in comic heaven.
    • The Oatmeal is fantastic, though he is wheels off.
    • If you can get offended, maybe don’t fan the Oatmeal.
    • I mean, you should anyway.
    • Expand your horizons.
    • Okay, so update:
    • Staples are out.
    • Scab is gross.
    • Doc says everything is healing well.
    • That’s the whole update.
    • We’ll have to wait on the Mayo for diagnosis stuff.
    • What else?
    • The Wife and I sent to Savoy for lunch today.
    • Thursdays are the Turkey special.
    • If you haven’t had it, you’re missing out.
    • Fucking amazing.
    • What else?
    • Got The Terminator on 4k Blu-ray.
    • Glorious.
    • Feeling good.
    • Thank you for all the support.
    • I’m leaving with my pocket full of sunshine.
  • Whiskey in the Jar O

    Whiskey in the Jar O

    • Dear lord, I want an Old Fashioned.
    • One of the things I can never write about at work is alcohol.
    • I’m not an alcoholic, mind you, but I like a good drink or beer from time to time.
    • Old Fashioneds serve as my drink of choice.
    • That or Rye whiskey, neat.
    • More than a decade ago, I went with the Wife to a conference in San Diego.
    • While she was conferencing, I got to hang out with LBSUTKE and Gaius, two of my Halo buddies who live in the area.
    • They took me to the Aero Bar, which has more than 700 whiskeys and bourbons.
    • The bartenders hand you a three-inch binder when you come in, and there’s a wall of bottles behind them.
    • Gaius picked for me because I was not a whiskey guy.
    • One of them was Japanese, and I don’t remember which it was.
    • The other was the Thomas H. Handy rye from the Buffalo Trace antique series.
    • It melted my brain it was so good.
    • And he’d only let me drink it neat.
    • Everything else pales in comparison.
    • The closest I can get is the Midwinter Night’s Dram from High West.
    • Which is damn good, mind you.
    • I think Tulsa only gets like 13 bottles of the Handy every year, so those fuckers are snatched up by Liquor Store employees.
    • (If you know anyone in Tulsa or anywhere who can help me get a bottle for under $200, lemme know.)
    • But yeah … Whiskey.
    • I love the complicated taste of it.
    • How each is different.
    • And the burn does not bother me.
    • None for me for … 11 more weeks.
    • Sigh.
    • Margaritas are in there, too.
    • And a selection of beers.
    • But no gd IPAs.
    • Those are the fucking worst.
    • I found this Hawaiian shirt with skulls all over it.
    • I’m inclined to buy it.
    • I used to wear Hawaiian shirts all the time.
    • Mostly because I hate tucking things in.
    • I know, I know, if I want to move up the corporate food chain, I have to tuck shit in.
    • The struggle is real.
    • Anyway, I showed it to the Teenager.
    • She said, “I hate Hawaiian shirts.”
    • So does the Wife, apparently.
    • I’m like, you guys have no idea about male attire.
    • We get either t-shirts or things with collars.
    • Polos.
    • Button-downs.
    • Things that will accommodate ties, which are a level of hell-on-earth.
    • That’s kinda it.
    • And as we reviewed yesterday, I don’t do well with … rules.
    • Then she (the Teenager) told me she never really likes my wardrobe choices.
    • What. The. Hell.
    • I did not get far enough to see what she’d prefer to see me in.
    • Probably dressed like a British gentleman.
    • I want the Hawaiian shirt for two reasons:
    • 1) Because they’re hella comfy, especially in the summer;
    • 2) I want it to wear under my jacket at work.
    • I’m a Creative Director now for F’s sake.
    • That’s why I wear Van’s.
    • Cause I can.
    • Cause it’s expected.
    • I did get a TSR shirt this week, which is noice.
    • IYKYK.
    • I still have a jonesing for a pair of Doc Martens.
    • Why am I talking about stuff?
    • I got nothing else to do?
    • I’ve been reading book four of The Wheel of Time.
    • They have fucked up that show.
    • Anyway.
    • I know Barry provided me with Italics instructions, but … I can’t be bothered.
    • It also won’t let me hyperlink copy.
    • I can add the web address outright and it’ll give you all something to click on.
    • Again, go to the blog (skepticlysm.com), sign up for the newsletter.
    • You’ll get these in your inbox and never have to come here.
    • I have some fiction up over there, too, if you haven’t already read it.
    • I have plans.
    • I have had epiphany after epiphany since the surgery.
    • Shit is in motion.
    • Stay tuned.
    • The other day, when talking music, one of my Halo buddies sent me a song from a band I’d never heard before.
    • “Shakin’ Off the Rust,” by The Blue Stones.
    • (https://open.spotify.com/track/5MKtQtz40BsJZvqkS5FmC6?si=e5899226f9c143a8)
    • It is freaking spectacular and literally every song I listened to from them was good.
    • Insane to have never heard of them.
    • They may not have a pocket full of sunshine, but they’re damn good.
    • Okay, here’s the truth about these lists.
    • They are procrastination.
    • I should be working on the novel.
    • I’m not.
    • Yet.
    • My brain’s not 100 percent back yet.
    • Just you wait.
    • Or something.
    • I got a …
  • Some of Those Who Work Forces

    Some of Those Who Work Forces

    • This morning at our pre-school ritual, the Teenager said (paraphrasing), “I wonder what Yelena did with her dog. And the guinea pig.”
    • “The dog probably ate the guinea pig already.”
    • “What?!”
    • “No it didn’t. It’s a golden retriever.”
    • “No it wasn’t.”
    • “Yes it was.”
    • Teenager looks it up. No, it wasn’t.
    • Dammit.
    • “Fine. You were right.”
    • She usually is; because if she doesn’t know, she won’t speak up.
    • I had this personality trait when I was younger.
    • I would not bet or argue if I did not already know the answer/outcome.
    • I am risk averse.
    • And I hate losing.
    • She’s the same way.
    • I feel I’ve failed her in this way.
    • Because you have to be able to fail in this life.
    • It’s like that failure speech Chris Pine gives in the D&D movie.
    • (Such a good flick, btw. Sorry, “fun” flick.)
    • Maybe that failure philosophy is a conjuration from failures, but rarely does anything work the first time, or the way you think it will.
    • You need weird outcomes to stretch your mind.
    • You know this.
    • I’m rambling.
    • I’m trying to write today, but struggling because I’m talking D&D with my buddies.
    • All of them, really.
    • I feel like I opened the flood gates.
    • And I’m just getting to orchestrate fun for people and work on my storytelling and improv.
    • “I’ve got something to say! It’s better to burn out than fade away!”
    • (If you know, you know.)
    • They’re remaking that with Henry Cavill and the guys behind John Wick.
    • I cannot wait.
    • I’m going to watch the old crappy version this week while convalescing.
    • It was one of those movies we’d watch as teenagers over and over and over again.
    • Highlander
    • Conan the Barbarian
    • The Terminator
    • Aliens
    • Heartbreak Ridge
    • I had three of those on one VHS tape.
    • (No, I do not remember which.)
    • Probably Star Wars, Empire and Raiders were wrapped in there, too.
    • Lethal Weapon
    • This is what we did when we were not skating, playing D&D, or doing something on the NES.
    • We’d have epic Pro Wrestling tournaments.
    • I beat our unbeatable friend and true story, he hit the power button right when the ref was saying, “Three!”
    • I always say this in the work list when this stuff comes up, but those kids in Stranger Things?
    • Us.
    • More or less.
    • Do you know how I got started in D&D?
    • I had this older cousin Jeff.
    • One year for Xmas, he gave me the D&D red box, which was the basic rules.
    • And then we played.
    • Melted my brain.
    • And I’m not sure how it got brought up to my friend group, but once it did, it was part of our lives into college.
    • Geeks.
    • I took time off from being a geek in college.
    • Because girls.
    • Had a whole conversation with the Wife yesterday about how much awareness she had of my geekery.
    • She says she knew the whole time.
    • Geekness has gravity and I’ve been pulled back in.
    • Coinciding with this GenX/50-something “fuck you I won’t do what you tell me.” mentality that keeps growing.
    • That’s my theme song, btw.
    • My core value.
    • My mission statement.
    • My ethos.
    • Dude.
    • I hate being told what to do.
    • Hate it.
    • Society is what it is.
    • Much dissonance.
    • I’m not sure I even want to work on it.
    • I do.
    • I persevere.
    • You do what you gotta do, right?
    • What I’m learning RIGHT NOW is how to get more of what I want from this life.
    • I let it win for too long.
    • No longer.
    • You are not guaranteed any time here.
    • Any time you spend neck deep in someone’s ends other than your own is a waste of your most valuable resource.
    • Fuck your commute mandate, Gov. Stitt.
    • Stop living quiet lives of indentured servitude.
    • This is what stream of consciousness gets you.
    • This is the stuff I’m passionate about.
    • My current state of happiness makes me want to push these things.
    • To find paths.
    • To lift myself and all my people up.
    • Freedom must be seized.
    • Hope you’re having a pocket full of sunshine today.
    • Love you guys.
  • Disrespectre

    Disrespectre

    • We’re out of creamer, so today, we went to Starbucks.
    • Because I can’t go very far.
    • I’m not supposed to be driving for at least two more days, but the hospital is half a mile away, and the Wife has to work.
    • I took the backroads and drove slow as fuck.
    • For those of you playing the home game, at work where these bullets all started, I refer to the family as The Wife and The Teenager.
    • No one by name ever.
    • It’s easier to keep doing that.
    • If you know us IRL, you know their names anyway.
    • The Barista, and she seemed in a good mood, said, “I have to ask you the question of the day.”
    • Me: “Okay, shoot.”
    • “The zombie apocalypse happens. What do you do first?”
    • “Shoot myself.”
    • Her mouth dropped open. She laughed. “What?!”
    • “I don’t want to live through that.”
    • And then we talked about it for a minute.
    • One of my Profanity friends, who’s one of those brilliant guys who skipped a year in school and now manages a Home Depot, said it to me when a similar conversation popped up in Chat.
    • It’s stayed with me.
    • I think he’s right.
    • I mean, by your fortieth can of beans and sleeping on the ground, worrying about whether your brains are about to get eaten, what’s the point?
    • Food for thought.
    • Next: Bon Jovi
    • Went out for Mexican food last night.
    • The Teenager drove, which she loathes doing.
    • While on the way, Bon Jovi came on whatever that shitty radio station was.
    • I have to upgrade the radio in the Wife’s car. It’s awful.
    • We had a whole short conversation about how if Bon Jovi pops up, we’ll listen to it, but we’ll never play it on purpose.
    • Then Journey came on.
    • Same thing.
    • Oooooooh, we’re halfway there, OOOOOOOOH, livin’ on a prayer.
    • My brains are broken.
    • Btw, I had both “Zomb” and “Bon” written on my palm so I would not forget to write about them.
    • Also, I have not missed a day bombarding The Teenager with “A Pocket Full of Sunshine.”
    • The cries of anguish are glorious.
    • Speaking of cries of anguish …
    • I have been buying stickers for my laptops and the Teenager’s.
    • All of them come from wickedclothes.com.
    • If you go there, well, look up Disrespectre.
    • Cause I have that on the laptop next to the trackpad.
    • You want the health update?
    • Staples allegedly come out this week.
    • My innards are wrecked.
    • I cannot get far from a bathroom, is what I’m saying.
    • I’m dizzy, but not like vertigo dizzy.
    • Just wobbly.
    • I have periodic stabs of pain along the staples.
    • In the words of the Swayze, “Pain don’t hurt.”
    • I have one-to-four doc appointments per week.
    • The Mayo stuff resumes next week or the week after.
    • Once a week, I have to go in for labs and to have the dressing change on the PICC IV.
    • I’m on … like nine meds?
    • I’m trying to avoid doing massive amounts of ‘roids unless these antibiotics don’t work.
    • There’s a lot, is what I’m saying.
    • I’m not whining, mind you.
    • Honestly, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a decade.
    • I don’t know how to explain that.
    • Like they messed up something in my brain and now I’m happy.
    • It’s odd.
    • There you go.
    • This way, if you talk to TCC HR, know I’m still so jacked up it’s unreal.
    • Physically.
    • I have so much happiness and gratitude, however, it’s crazy.
    • Again, there’s something wrong with me.
    • We saw Thunderbolts yesterday.
    • I know you probably so my short post yesterday.
    • It’s a top-10 Marvel flick.
    • And I’m in the Yelena/Florence Pugh fan camp forever now.
    • Holy shit. What an unexpectedly great superhero movie.
    • I cannot wait to see what they do with this.
    • This is getting long for the book of faces.
    • It’ll be great on the blog (skepticlysm.com).
    • Go sign up.
    • Get the email.
    • Ignore it.
    • Whatever works.
    • We’ll talk books or some shit tomorrow.
    • The compulsion is real.
    • Also, I got nothing else to do while I sit here on the couch.
    • Grateful for you guys.
    • Hope you have a pocketful of sunshine.
    • Heh.
  • Catching a Sturgeon

    Catching a Sturgeon

    • I wasn’t supposed to do one of these on the weekend, but I’m up before everyone and have nothing else to do.
    • I’m becoming a morning person because of those goddamn animals.
    • Ginny, the fluffy white cat, wakes us up every day now.
    • Damn her.
    • Anyway, while walking around taking my nine meds …
    • 10?
    • (AP Style is numbers are spelled out until you get to 10, then you use the numbers. FYI.)
    • … while walking around taking all my meds, I was thinking about why I write.
    • It has to be some sort of affirmation, right?
    • Oh, guys! Look at me! Look at what I did!
    • Only there’s this part that would be doing something like this even if I did not show it to you.
    • I have journals.
    • I have shitloads of fiction I’ve never shown anyone.
    • It’s odd, is what I’m saying.
    • I have something to write about movies.
    • Because, duh.
    • There is so much shit out now.
    • I used to reference Sturgeon’s Law, which is: “90 percent of everything is crap.”
    • I feel it’s higher.
    • Or filmmakers have regressed.
    • You know, if you know me, I served as film critic/editor for Urban Tulsa Weekly for 11 years.
    • I wrote more than a million words about movies.
    • And then I wrote my Master’s thesis on film critics.
    • I’m to this point in life, based on conversations and the Internet, where I really do not share my opinions about films anymore.
    • Like I had a guy go on and on about how great The Substance was, how Demi deserved her Oscar, blah, blah, blah.
    • No.
    • No it was not. No, she did not.
    • It looked like it was shot by amateurs (and don’t get me started on that; like how in the fuck does The Wheel of Time look like a really damned expensive TV show? How is that possible? They’re literally wrecking the books and it looks like it was shot by film school students. Raiders of the Lost Ark has better cinematography than most crap I see today).
    • … it’s like movie Tourette’s.
    • I’m scared to watch the Best Picture winner this year because of this.
    • Because from the trailer, it looks awful.
    • Hopefully, I’m wrong.
    • But in any case, the bar is low now.
    • I see people complain about Marvel flicks, and while I do feel their quality has dipped a bit since Avengers: Endgame, I’ve liked a handful.
    • The Internet wants us to be tired of them, to hate them.
    • I don’t see it.
    • Judge each film on its merits.
    • But the crap I see written about movies these days is a bunch of assholes with agendas.
    • Hell, it’s probably even AI or AI-assisted.
    • I’m sorry, but if you’re a journalist and you’re using AI to “help” you with op/ed pieces, you are a giant sack of crap.
    • Which brings us back around to … stop listening to people on the Internet, including me.
    • It’s why I will not really review a movie anymore.
    • You want to chat about movies, DM me.
    • Or, fuck, I’ll start a Discord server and we can sit and talk movies all the time.
    • Lemme know.
    • What else?
    • The swelling in my face is going down.
    • I’m not talking about the zipper on my head, either.
    • I’m talking about all the swelling I had from the … infectious disease, like the stuff around my eye and in my cheek bones.
    • My head is noticeably thinner.
    • OMG the antibiotics are working.
    • Yes, I’m still dizzy.
    • Yes, I have an IV in my arm for another five weeks.
    • Yes, my jaw is probably crooked for the rest of my life
    • But … this shit may be dying in my dome.
    • Hallelujah, pass the coffee.
    • I cannot have a drink until I’m off the antibiotics.
    • I’m not an alcoholic, but I’m dying for a rye whiskey.
    • That’s a whole other conversation.
    • You kids have a good Sunday.
    • Maybe we can talk about Thunderbolts later today.
    • Hope you have a pocket full of sunshine.
    • Disclaimer: I’m not actually mad. #truth
  • To A Certain Degree

    To A Certain Degree

    • And we’re back …
    • We’re going to run through some updates from yesterday, and then I’m tackling something serious.
    • Head’s up, peeps.
    • Let me say how annoyed I am Facebook won’t let me use italics.
    • Style guide: Book, movie, and album titles should be italicized.
    • Song titles and poems get quotes.
    • This morning, I woke up early and laid there for an hour planning.
    • Lots of things.
    • One of them …
    • I’m not supposed to climb stairs, but Kaia’s room is upstairs.
    • I queued up “A Pocket Full of Sunshine,” climbed the stairs.
    • Turned the volume up loud on my phone and stuck it in her door.
    • She did not recognize those opening notes and said, “What’re you …”
    • Then the lyrics kicked in.
    • She shut the door in my face.
    • Mission: Accomplished.
    • Then I sent it to a friend, ‘cause screw him.
    • SitRep: Mostly, my head does not hurt.
    • Now, I have had literally agonizing pain in my head since 2020.
    • My pain calibration is … skewed.
    • This isn’t awful.
    • However, I am exhausted.
    • Prone to passing out at any moment.
    • And I sleep like poop because 1) 45 staples in my dome; 2) the goddamn dogs; 3) the PICC IV in my right arm.
    • None of these things make bedding easy.
    • When I’m awake, as long as I’m sitting, I kinda do okay.
    • Walking comes a bit challenging.
    • Random dizziness happens.
    • I have the doc appts coming up in another couple of weeks.
    • And then treatment.
    • We’re not out of the woods.
    • But fuck it, I will prevail.
    • Okay, let’s be serious for a moment.
    • I put up that pic about degrees the other day.
    • I have worked in higher ed for all but four of the last 25 years.
    • My job has been to sell it.
    • I know the data.
    • And when I don’t, I know both Librarians and IR.
    • Short version: Degrees make communities more successful.
    • The more bachelor’s degrees a city has, the more financially successful it will be.
    • Full stop.
    • What we’re running into, however, is the death of the American Dream.
    • Personally, I do not believe in it.
    • Companies no longer treat us as people.
    • You’re just a number to check a box to do something.
    • And they’re trying to kill even that with AI.
    • Let me ask you a question: What’re you worth?
    • I don’t mean net worth.
    • I’ll answer for you: your hourly wage.
    • Companies will get away with paying you as little as possible.
    • And they’ll get away with devaluing your position as much as they can.
    • At our college, there’s an initiative to promote those degrees that provide the most life-sustaining wages.
    • Not things you’re aligned with from a personality standpoint, mind you.
    • But things that pay you and generate revenue for companies.
    • You know, the ones that get away with paying you as little as possible and get away with providing as few benefits as they can.
    • Because their responsibility is to the stakeholders, not you.
    • Enjoy that few weeks of leave, and paying part of your health ins (which is tied to your job, mind you).
    • Enjoy that lack of pension.
    • You ever want to know how free you really are?
    • Who can you say no to?
    • You have a choice of when to arrive at work?
    • When you can leave?
    • What about your dress code?
    • Or what you’re allowed to say to your manager, based on who they are and what their leadership philosophy is?
    • And work from home has largely been stomped on my employers because they want to control you.
    • The data supports working from home.
    • Hell, the data supports a four-day work week.
    • America has always flown the banner of freedom.
    • Are you?
    • Back to that degree thing.
    • Degrees, all of them, make our lives better.
    • Let’s say “you” don’t want to fund a theatre degree.
    • How is it so easy for you to dismiss the contributions of a creative to your life?
    • They are responsible for all the books you read.
    • (Sorry, the books you listen to.)
    • The shows you watch.
    • The concerts you attend.
    • The art on your walls.
    • The design of all the marketing materials.
    • The gardens and parks you visit.
    • Creatives make your life livable.
    • But hey, don’t help them get started, right?
    • (Before running your mouths, go research how scholarships are funded for every degree that exists.)
    • They’re all paid poorly because fucking companies are in it for profit.
    • The whole fucking country is about profit.
    • For the few, not the many.
    • Do you ever stop and think about why so many cities are based around roads?
    • It’s because the government has funded so many companies that make cars and oil.
    • I don’t want my taxes going there.
    • I want my taxes making mass transit a thing.
    • Making it easier to cycle and walk.
    • Making everything greener.
    • Because literally ALL of that is better for people and the environment.
    • You know what I don’t want my taxes doing?
    • Bailing out the rich.
    • Bailing out corporations that have more freedom and resources than any of us.
    • That greener thing.
    • Is it better for profit?
    • Not right now it isn’t.
    • Okay, so let’s talk about why you think some degrees are “less than.”
    • What do you watch?
    • I know you don’t read.
    • (Go check out the stats on functional illiteracy.)
    • Now, before we start this conversation, let’s discuss my credentials.
    • I have a bachelor’s in Journalism (news/editorial) with a minor in Creative Writing.
    • I have a Master’s degree in Mass Communications/Media Management.
    • Before you want to argue with me about media, just know what you’re getting into.
    • Right now, our mass media (newspapers and television stations) are largely owned by billionaires.
    • Those assholes are in it for … profit.
    • The content on those stations, particularly the broadcast stuff, is chosen to maximize profit.
    • What’re you watching?
    • Have you checked the bias chart?
    • Have you looked up the research on the shit you’re spouting?
    • (And before you go running your mouth on me, just know, I know an Army of Librarian Ninjas and I swear to the Lort I’ll sick them on you.)
    • I’ve heard a ton of you say stuff to me that is 100 percent bullshit.
    • You didn’t look it up to verify.
    • You just repeated it.
    • Cut that shit out.
    • You are being manipulated.
    • And don’t tell me what I think because you’re making assumptions based on the fact you know I disagree with you, but you don’t know why.
    • If you are friends with me, you know (or are going to over the next few months) I care about you.
    • I’m disinterested in fighting.
    • I’m interested in better relationships and a better reality.
    • And we can make it together.
    • But it requires you to let go of the bullshit.
    • To avoid it.
    • To free your mind.
    • To work toward freedom.
    • Because unless you work for yourself, you are not free.
    • So let’s leave off there because I did not make a bunch of jokes or talk music today.
    • Our freedom is being taken from us.
    • Don’t be distracted by the shit you can afford to distract you from that fact.
    • Love you all.
    • More words tomorrow.
  • Have You Tried Staples?

    Have You Tried Staples?

    • Hey, what is up.
    • Coming at you from non-malignant brain tumor land!
    • 45 staples in my dome are not going to fucking defeat me.
    • I have been up since five something because of the fucking dogs.
    • (This is the kinda list you get when I’m not writing them for work.)
    • (Profanity warning!)
    • When Steph took Kaia to school this morning (after we had a great conversation about her dreams), I found myself craving some Prodigy “The Fat of the Land,” so I queued that up on Spotify on the TV and let it go.
    • So good.
    • “Smack My Bitch Up” has a spectacular second half.
    • “Narayan” is fantastic, too.
    • Good album all around, really.
    • Get some.
    • So we have this Family text chat. Me, Steph, my sister, by BIL and Kaia.
    • It’s full of all kinds of random shit
    • This morning, Kaia told us all about something in her class playing Natasha Bedingfield’s “Pocket Full of Sunshine,” which you know from Easy A with Emma Stone.
    • I kinda like it.
    • Kaia hates it.
    • So now I’m going to ambush her as often as I can.
    • I have this thing for songs that are borderline electronic with women singers.
    • I will not apologize for it.
    • I’m still a metalhead, but I’m also of this age where I do not give a fuck about what I’m “supposed” to like.
    • I’ve got a pocket, a pocket full of sunshine …
    • If you’re a facebook person, you should know I write a bullet-list column for work.
    • It’s sanitized for work.
    • Not how my brain works, but … I get to write a column for work.
    • Here’s the thing.
    • I can’t not do it.
    • It has become a writing compulsion.
    • So I’m going to write these the whole time I’m recuperating and getting treatment for the mass.
    • I’ll post them on my blog because Facebook fundamentally sucks.
    • Go there. Subscribe.
    • Something that happened while I was in the hospital.
    • I came up with an idea for a business, so I’m going to be launching that shit while I’m on FMLA and waiting on the sawed hole in my dome to heal.
    • I can no longer allow other people to control my creative endeavors.
    • I am finished with being an Indentured.
    • #DoNotGoGentle
    • Stay tuned.
    • The idea involves the launch of a website.
    • #FuckYoSocialMedia
    • I’m either good at this writing/entertainment nonsense or I’m not, but I think I am.
    • Buckle up, kids.
    • These lists are going to be unfiltered, and I’m going to call people on their responses to some of the shit I’m going to say.
    • You’ve been warned!
    • BTW, hey TCC people, thank you for being here and for your support.
    • I apologize for all the F bombs, but … this is the real me.
    • I got in trouble when I was four for saying jackass in front of my great grandma.
    • I said chicken shit soup in kindergarten.
    • I called the sub teacher a butthole in second grade.
    • I have an uncertified degree in profanity is what I’m saying.
    • This is the real me.
    • And this is the first Black List, which will be part of the new business.
    • All that said, the TCC Librarians are one of my favorite groups on campus.
    • I actually plan on having a Teams meeting with the Librarians when I get back on the clock.
    • More on that later.
    • The last episode of “Friends and Neighbors” on AppleTV was spectacular.
    • I am super stoked to see “Thunderbolts*” this weekend.
    • We thought I would not be able to handle it, but … I can.
    • Fuck them staples.
    • Do what you want, but you’re never gonna break me …
    • You know what else I have planned now?
    • My tat sleeve.
    • SHIT IS HAPPENING.
    • Love you guys.
    • Thanks for your support.
    • Subscribe over on the blog.
    • More to come!!
  • Elevator Doors

    Elevator Doors

    • Yesterday …
    • Okay, maybe it was Saturday.
    • Yeah, definitely Saturday.
    • We went to Mi Tierra for dinner.
    • Had fajita leftovers.
    • They were not my leftovers, but I was told I could have them for lunch today.
    • Which is nice.
    • Nice to not have to worry about spending $17 for lunch downtown, you know?
    • I had my bag slung around my chest, my coffee in one hand, the styrofoam container with the fajitas in the other.
    • (Who still uses styrofoam?)
    • (Well, lookie there. Apparently “Styrofoam” is a brand name like Kleenex or Xerox.)
    • (No, you environment killing thing, I will not give you a capital S.)
    • Scanned in, went to pull open the big glass door to the 14th floor …
    • Which slipped.
    • And caught the fajita container and my arm, flinging it from my grasp.
    • Fajitas everywhere.
    • Everywhere being mostly the floor.
    • And my hand.
    • Which after multiple washings still smells like fajitas.
    • Sigh.
    • Apologies to the cleaning staff.
    • My fault.
    • How’s your Monday?
    • Mini fiction:
    • He nodded to the woman behind the security desk as he entered the building.
    • “Good morning,” she said.
    • He echoed the greeting, lamented for the moment he did not know her name. Well, if it were really a she? It looked like a she, but he knew it was one of the latest bots from Boston Dynamics. Probably had a model designation and not a real name like Sally or Veronica. Maybe he’d give it a name. Later, though. The timeclock waits for no one, however, and he needed to get upstairs for a meeting … which started in four minutes. At least it was a Zoom meeting.
    • He stopped in front of the elevator bank, mashed the Up button with the pointer finger on his right hand while the rest clung to the coffee tumbler. His other hand held a small square box of “gourmet” donut holes.
    • The button’s yellow-orangish light lit up.
    • He leaned around his left arm to check the time.
    • Two minutes.
    • Ugh.
    • The elevator beeped. He fought the urge to step forward, reviewing stock footage of all the times he tried to rush onto the opening elevator while people tried to get out. All the awkward apologies to people he didn’t know.
    • The doors opened.
    • No one got out.
    • He stepped on, looked at the bank of floor buttons and the card scanner.
    • Oh, right.
    • He fumbled with the ID lanyard, snaking his thumb behind the ribbon to extend the card toward the scanner. He wondered how ridiculous he looked if the security guard happened to be watching from their console.
    • Card mashed against the scanner. The light turned green. He dropped the lanyard and thumbed the button for his floor, then stepped toward the back of the elevator, started to rehearse what he might need to say in the Zoom meeting.
    • Then realized the elevator had not moved.
    • He glared at the floor buttons. None were lit.
    • He sighed, loudly.
    • “Work, you stupid thing.”
    • He repeated the card scan/button process. Why did they even have to scan a card still? Couldn’t they code these things with biometrics? Or even scan your card in your pocket? Why the old school tech? Maybe the building supes spent all the money on Sally.
    • He refocused.
    • Again, all the proper lights lit. Again, he stepped back, this time keeping his eyes on the buttons.
    • The lights, which lit for a moment, went off.
    • “Seriously?”
    • He repeated the watch dance.
    • Late.
    • Officially.
    • He stepped forward, tapped the “open door” button.
    • Nothing happened.
    • “C’mon, you dumb thing. Work!”
    • Talking to himself on a Monday morning while trapped in an elevator …
    • The elevator dinged, lurched upward for a second, then stopped, bouncing.
    • He struggled to keep his coffee in his hand as his arm whipped out to catch the wall for balance.
    • He glanced around, looking for a camera.
    • “Help?”
    • Again, it lurched upward, stopped. Lurch. Stop.
    • He crouched back against the wall, waited. Counted to 100. Why he counted to 100 he didn’t really know, but it seemed a reasonable amount of time to make sure everything was … stable.
    • He stood, stepped toward the buttons, then repeated the card swipe process and reselected his floor. The buttons lit up like they were supposed to. The elevator began to climb.
    • “Thanks for nothing, dumb elevator.”
    • He felt an increase in upward velocity in his knees, which flexed a bit. He flicked his eyes to the floor indicator as his floor came and went.
    • He gritted his teeth.
    • The elevator stopped at the top floor.
    • He waited for the doors to open, visualized the door to the stairs.
    • The doors did not open.
    • He leaned forward, mashed the “open” button.
    • Nothing happened.
    • “Open the doors, you piece of junk!”
    • He stomped on the floor.
    • Which opened. He slipped into the dark of the elevator shaft, coffee and donuts flying from his hands as he flailed. As he fell, he looked up and watched the yellow light of the elevator vanish.
    • Mondays, he thought.
    • …
    • End.
    • Yeah, I dunno. That’s what popped into my head this morning getting on the elevator here at the Arvest Tower.
    • I have never written list-based fiction before now. Nor let anyone read that kind of thing without massive edits. That’s a first draft. Heh.
    • Also, that was before the Fajita Fiasco of March 2025.
    • Also, I have to go read the comments from the Millennials in Friday’s list. I see there are new ones, but I have not gotten there yet. Been a busy Monday, even without the fajitas.
    • Also, this was all written to Iron Maiden’s Somewhere in Time (album, not just the song.)
    • Dunno, man. I listened to another of their albums over the weekend, Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, which is one of those concept albums.
    • I have memories of the day that came out when I was in junior high.
    • Sorry. Middle school.
    • I really haven’t listened to Maiden since seeing them in Tulsa a handful of years ago.
    • They played too much of their new stuff, which stinks.
    • Purged them from my system for a while.
    • Okay.
    • I’m out.
    • You have a Monday.
    • Try to keep a good grip on your lunch, right?
    • Stay safe!
  • Car Trouble

    Car Trouble

    • So there I was driving my mom’s black Honda minivan, dropping off the Teenager at school. 
    • Metallica’s “Damage, Inc.” blasting through the van’s lame, tinny speakers. 
    • Wearing my old sunglasses (because they’re prescription and I have to have them.)
    • Lamenting the lack of window tinting because, even in the best of times in the best of cars, I do not like people looking at me. 
    • (Not just in cars.) 
    • (Introverts! Unite!) 
    • (I know, no one is actually looking at me.) 
    • Thinking, “Dear lort, this is what my life has come to.” 
    • “Dude, why are you driving your mom’s minivan,” you might be thinking. 
    • I’m glad you imaginarily asked. 
    • (Let’s not unpack this … for now.) 
    • (Maybe someday.) 
    • (But notthenow.) 
    • I typically roll around in a black Subaru. 
    • 6-speed manual.
    • Have not really kept up with the maintenance on it because that stuff is expensive. 
    • It recently hit the 100k mileage mark. 
    • So, it needed some care.  
    • And we need the car to be road-trip ready. 
    • The car does not have a timing belt, but a timing chain.  
    • So that’s nice. 
    • It got a tune-up, which was much less expensive than I was expecting. 
    • But there’s where the fun started. 
    • Got the tune-up, but then there were oil spots on my driveway. 
    • Took it back. 
    • Fixed. 
    • Took it home. 
    • A/C did not work. 
    • Took it back. 
    • Fixed. 
    • Took it home. 
    • On the way home, getting on the highway, the thing started backfiring, the throttle cut out, and the check engine light came on. 
    • Took it back. 
    • I do not believe this is the garage’s fault, mind you. 
    • Sometimes, when you monkey with a thing that’s been fine, you mess it up worse. 
    • That’s probably in a life manual somewhere. 
    • “If it ain’t broke …” 
    • What I’m saying is that … I hate cars now. 
    • And I used to be a gearhead.  
    • I miss my first car something awful. 
    • (Was a 1967 Camaro.) 
    • I sold it my freshman year of college because I could not afford to drive it. 
    • Thing only got like six or seven miles to the gallon.  
    • It shook the earth at stoplights. 
    • And was wicked fast in the quarter mile. 
    • Also, I could actually fix it myself. 
    • I could crawl under that car and swap the starter in less than 15 minutes without any help. 
    • Opening the hood on the Subaru?  
    • Yeah, no.  
    • Anyway, I could not rebuy the Camaro now for less than $25,000. 
    • Should’ve just thrown it under a tarp at my parents’ house. 
    • Live and learn. 
    • Yesterday, I had occasion to do some word-swapping of Coleridge’s “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” on social media. 
    • Being a word nerd in high school … 
    • Okay, being a nerd in high school, I loved that poem.  
    • First, Iron Maiden made it into a 15-minute song. 
    • Second, it totally vibes with D&D. 
    • Anyway, stuck with me.  
    • “As idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean.” 
    • I’m going to go out on a limb and say the Teenager has never seen that poem. 
    • Shakespeare came up on the ride to school today. 
    • Me: “Have you read any Shakespeare?” 
    • Her: “Not in high school.” 
    • Me: “What?! When was the last time?” 
    • Her: “Middle school.” 
    • Me: “What was it?” 
    • Her: “Othello.” 
    • Me (internally): “What?!” 
    • Me (aloud): “So no MacBeth? What about Midsummer Night’s Dream?” 
    • Her: “We did that in elementary school, but I’m sure it was a simpler version.” 
    • Me: … 
    • Dropped her off. Made a mental note to text my oldest friend, because he’s just about to retire from teaching English. 
    • *The following is edited for work.
    • Me: “Do you guys still teach Shakespeare in high school?” 
    • Him: “I think so. We still had it when I was still teaching English.” 
    • (He’s been teaching speech/communications the past couple of years.) 
    • Me: “The Teenager has not done any Shakespeare since middle school.” 
    • Him: “I’m pretty sure Romeo and Juliet is still on the Freshman curriculum.” 
    • Me: “She has never done that one. Or MacBeth.” 
    • Him: “It’s moved to more skill-based reading. Just passages. Not much full works. The English teachers don’t like it either.” 
    • Me: “I don’t imagine they would.” 
    • Him: “There’s been a push for ‘future read skills.’ Reading endurance has all but been abandoned.” 
    • (Here is where I’d swear a lot.) 
    • Back to the front … I’m not picking on Minivans. 
    • They are terribly useful vehicles. 
    • I just … never saw myself in one? 
    • It violates my self-image? 
    • They are not me. 
    • I’m not picking on you minivan enthusiasts, is what I’m saying. 
    • You do you. 
    • I have a list of things to which I will not go gently. 
    • Minivans are on there. 
    • So are white tennis shoes. 
    • I have issues, man. 
    • This is known. 
    • DID YOU KNOW … if you are playing Spotify when you join a Teams meeting, it’ll broadcast that music to the room?  
    • … Ask me how I know! 
    • Good gravy. 
    • I’m outta here.  
    • Have a Wednesday.