skepticlysm

Things That Should Not Be

Written by

Skeptifist

in

  • Over on the Discord, I go by Drost.
  • Because that’s my gamertag.
  • I’ve had it since 2004.
  • All the guys in my video game clan call me that.
  • I’ll answer to it as readily as my birth name.
  • Yell it across a room, I’ll stop and turn my head.
  • I’ve been thinking about new ones, because you never know when the need will arise.
  • I’m still adapting to this giant pale scar on my head.
  • Gotta embrace it, right?
  • I can’t run around feeling all Wizard of Oz.
  • No one gets to see the Wizard.
  • Hell, I can’t see it.
  • Anyway.
  • Naming things is hard.
  • As a writer, naming things is harder than describing things.
  • Coming up with unique online handles is even harder.
  • Millions of people out there.
  • Yeah, there are those jokers who’re fine with like A-Hole69 or whatever.
  • I can’t abide that.
  • There’ve been more.
  • I can’t remember because I’m old and they did not stick.
  • Drost is the only one I’ll answer to.
  • But anyway.
  • Yesterday, I conjured a couple new ones.
  • The first was … Scarpico.
  • Steph didn’t like that one.
  • Jones and I were texting about names because he came across some dude with the last name of Drost.
  • I told him about Scarpico.
  • He mildly chuckled. Textually.
  • Then I hit him with …
  • Scarsguard.
  • I may have to find a place to use it.
  • Cause it makes me laugh.
  • I hear that pirate skit from SNL in my head.
  • Might make that my pen name when I publish.
  • Victor Scarsguard.
  • Arrrrrrrrr.
  • Embrace it, or it rules you.
  • Edit from yesterday …
  • Mojitos, not Mai Tais.
  • Six mojitos.
  • And then an afternoon nap.
  • Drink responsibly.
  • Speaking of that … we’re inching closer to Old Fashioned day.
  • I have finished the one antibiotic they said would produce the most epically awful hangover in existence.
  • The pharmacist at the Mayo said almost those exact words.
  • I listen to my doctors.
  • I try to do all the things they tell me.
  • I’m not an everyday drinker even when I can.
  • Maybe one or two a week?
  • I mean, it’s thematic here on the Black List because I can’t have it, you know?
  • That’s why diets fail.
  • The temptation of you can’t have it at all creates wanting.
  • The existence of a thing demands its use.
  • “The blade itself incites to deeds of violence.” – Homer
  • Soon.
  • I had that bit in there about movies yesterday, so I feel today requires a bit of an admission.
  • Or an explanation.
  • I do not care about anyone else’s opinion about a movie.
  • I wrote as a film critic for 11 years.
  • More than a million words.
  • I’ve taken screen writing classes (and gotten A’s).
  • I took documentary classes.
  • I studied the medium.
  • I have a minor in creative writing, so I understand story and character and tone and plot.
  • I wrote my bloody master’s thesis on film critics.
  • I do not seek out movie reviews, not in print, not in real life, not from anyone or anywhere.
  • I’ll talk with you about movies, sure.
  • Banter.
  • It sounds arrogant typed out like that.
  • It probably is.
  • I’m not arrogant about a lot, but … movies, man.
  • I’ve put in the work.
  • I’m not aiming at a person, I’m aiming it at all those dumbass pieces of commentary the internet uses to farm revenue from ads.
  • With their stupid click-bait headlines.
  • All about the money.
  • Part of me would like to review movies again … but for the same reasons as above, what’s the worth of my opinion to the world?
  • Why should I tell you what’s good?
  • What you might like?
  • Again, what you like doesn’t have to be good.
  • Your happiness and satisfaction is just that: yours.
  • Like what you like, right?
  • So I guess I’m struggling with not being a hypocrite, right?
  • I want to throw it out there.
  • But …
  • On occasion, I can’t help myself, but now I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything.
  • Take it or leave it.
  • Do with it what you will.
  • Follow no one but yourself.
  • “Some of those who work forces …”
  • Popped in there.
  • Theme song.
  • Walk-out music.
  • Is it really an online journal if you’re imagining talking to someone?
  • The walk-out music thing makes me think of funeral music.
  • Better be something off Master of Puppets.
  • That’s all I’m saying.
  • I’d be happy with “Orion.”
  • But probably “Welcome Home (Sanitarium).”
  • Good gravy I love that album.
  • “The Thing That Should Not Be” is one of the heaviest substances in the universe.
  • If you’ll excuse me, I need to go gently bang my head (so my regrowing skull doesn’t detach itself).
  • “Out from ruins once possessed …”
  • My mind.
  • That’s what we’re talking about.
  • In case you need it ‘splained.
  • Funeral. Play it on a Panasonic boom box.
  • From a cassette.
  • Immortal.
  • In madness I dwellllllll…
  • Out.

Comments

Leave a comment

More posts