- I have done gummies once.
- When Brad visited a year ago.
- Was fun, actually.
- Have not since.
- Do not want to do that with my kid in the house, for one.
- For another, I did not sleep worth a damn after.
- Prior to that, only alcohol.
- Never wanted to experiment with drugs.
- Just Say No worked on me.
- And other negative substance abuse influences in my life.
- You go one of two ways with that kind of thing.
- I bring this up because … Had an MRI this morning.
- I can’t do MRIs without having valium.
- Panic attacks ensue.
- Hell, I had a panic attack while ON a valium during an MRI once.
- I never thought I was claustrophobic, but … maybe?
- Anyway, we’re still riding the valium wave.
- A bit.
- They don’t tend to stay with me very long.
- Two hours, tops.
- I started having panic attacks when the kid was about nine months old.
- If you’ve never had one, I hope you don’t.
- Because it feels like you’re dying.
- When they first started, my doc gave me a script for Xanax.
- First time I took one of those, I understood how people became addicted to drugs.
- That was the most relaxed I have ever been in my entire life, before or since.
- Peace and mindfulness in a pill.
- In the course of all this medical drama, I’ve had Oxy.
- Does nothing for me.
- Not any better than Tylenol.
- Xanax did not cure my panic attacks, btw.
- Nor did buspirone.
- Kali and JKD did.
- Martial arts.
- I can’t adequately explain the level of emotional confidence and control martial arts gave me.
- Granted, I was training five days a week, but still.
- How much of anxiety comes from feeling unsafe?
- And how much of our coping mechanisms are based around control?
- You control nothing but yourself.
- Focus on you.
- Monday morning MRI.
- This is what you get.
- I gotta say, having a PICC has been fantastic for labwork.
- I haven’t gotten stuck since leaving the Mayo.
- Annoying to have, but … advantages!
- Pockets of sunshine!
- Every time I leave the house, I think about how my skull has not healed shut yet.
- Like, now would be the worst time to have a car accident, know what I’m sayin’?
- Would my brains spill out?
- Started today thinking it might be fun to write a chemically influenced list.
- It’s not.
- It’s just whining about medical crap.
- Everyone have a good weekend?
- Mine was D&D dominated.
- Friday and Sunday nights.
- DMing is stressful.
- You have to build a story that will be compelling and fun.
- And you have to be ready to toss it out the window when they do something you did not plan for, which is literally every session.
- Great for improv development.
- And storytelling.
- Should translate to book writing.
- But man, your head has to be in it.
- Looking at people and reading the room.
- Oof.
- Under pressure.
- I did have that Old Fashioned finally.
- Awwww yisssss.
- Just one.
- Moderation.
- You see that study that reported how many parents in America have an alcohol problem?
- Sigh.
- At work, writing these, I have a mandate to entertain and uplift.
- This would not be that, would it?
- Nothing funny here.
- Bah.
- You’re watching Murderbot, right?
- You have AppleTV, right?
- Of all the streaming services, they’re making the best content.
- There’s not a ton of it, but it’s almost all good.
- And they are definitely the standard bearers for modern sci-fi shows.
- They’re making Neuromancer.
- Holy F I cannot wait for that.
- Amazon did a great job with The Peripheral.
- Lameass to have cancelled it.
- But yeah, Murderbot.
- Read those books while you’re at it
- I started Sunrise on the Reaping over the weekend.
- The actual print book.
- I haven’t read a printed book in more than a year because of all this eye bullshit.
- Book’s pretty good so far.
- Talked to Kaia about it.
- Her take is that the writing is okay, but the story’s good.
- So I asked her what books had her favorite prose:
- Gallant
- Song of Achilles
- We are All So Good at Smiling
- I’ve read one of those (Song of Achilles).
- She’s not wrong on that one for sure.
- And V.E. Schwab usually writes good stuff (Gallant).
- I think that Smiling is verse?
- A whole novel written as a poem?
- Holy crap.
- Steph just asked Kaia and me what our favorite literary devices were.
- I had to have a definition to answer.
- Stuff like metaphor, foreshadowing, etc.
- Been a long time since I had a lit class.
- Oooh, that stuff.
- I’m not answering here, but it made me think of Hemingway.
- That story I love of his, “Hills like White Elephants.”
- On the surface, it’s about a couple waiting at a train station.
- They talk.
- There’re implied things.
- The story itself is about an abortion, but that’s never said, never once stated.
- It is brilliant.
- I wonder if the kids of today could even pick up on any of it.
- Everything has to be explained.
- Effing over exposition.
- It is on you to delve deeper, to think critically.
- You can’t have control of anything if you understand nothing.
- You can’t ascend if you can’t think for yourself.
- Motherfucking Monday.
- I gotta quit.
- I’ll see you tomorrow.
MFing Mondays
skepticlysm 
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