Belonging Kinds

• First, “The Belonging Kind” is a Gibson short story in Burning Chrome.
• And it’s a trip.
• It’s probably a metaphor for what I’m about to discuss, but he’s smarter than I am and can be more circumspect.
• Do you feel the need to belong to a group?
• Like, do you need a group to define yourself?
• I knew someone once who had this crazy drive to belong to something.
• The things he wanted to belong to were … control groups.
• Law enforcement stuff.
• I didn’t understand it.
• Still don’t, really.
• I haven’t even been able to make myself stay in the Metallica fan club.
• This is one of those things where I want to say, “I don’t,” but that isn’t true.
• “Metalhead.”
• Family and friend groups.
• Is there a difference between interests we use to define ourselves and groups we think we need to belong to?
• Why do we need external things to define ourselves?
• Because that’s the language we have?
• Clearly, this is the Rash talking.
• A kind of madness.
• I am going mad.
• (Queue up the opening of Anthrax’s “Madhouse.”)
• NP: Twenty-one Pilots, “The Line.”
• Yesterday, I got my Casa Bonita Founders Club card.
• Which makes me laugh.
• I got on the mailing list when we were last in Colorado.
• The Casa had a months’ long waiting list just for the soft-open.
• Foolishly we thought we might go.
• Apparently, it’s a destination now?
• I probably only went a handful of times in Tulsa.
• We were El Chico people.
• That was my first Mexican restaurant experience.
• What’s cool about Mexican restaurants … the variety of takes.
• Like the differences between enchiladas, etc.
• El Chico established “Tex-Mex” in my mind.
• Stuff drowned in sauces. Con Carne, people!
• Dear lord, I’m having trouble avoiding passive voice today.
• Every damn sentence wants to use “was” for its verb.
• I can’t lecture people about writing technique when I can’t do it myself.
• Dammit all.
• Were.
• Was.
• Is.
• Bah.
• Crap.
• Writing in bullet lists promotes lazy writing habits.
• Apparently.
• See?
• A damn adverb.
• Motherfucking adverbs.
• There I go, swearing again.
• You know.
• You can’t have known me and expect clean language.
• Except in the book I’m writing because, well, it’s a YA book.
• I know how it happened.
• Still weird.
• I need to get it finished so I can write other things.
• Though the sequel is already a third plotted.
• (IS; again.)
• I am not currently fit for public consumption.
• I need to go stand in a field and scream, except the heat would inflame the Rash.
• This cannot stand.
• Turning into a fine whine today.
• I can’t wait to see F1.
• Dude makes good movies.
• Also, did you see the Denis V. got the directing gig for the next 007 flick?
• Mixed feelings about that.
• Dude is one of top two best living sci-fi directors.
• But … he’s directed great non-sci-fi movies, too.
• I think they’re about to shoot “Dune: Messiah.”
• (About time for a Dune rewatch. Been a month or two.)
• He’s one of my top-five favorite directors.
• I’ll watch whatever he makes.
• Except that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Hugh Jackman with the kidnapped girls.
• Can’t watch a movie about kidnapped daughters.
• I have not watched a bunch of stuff in my convalescence.
• Weird.
• Has been so much more draining than I expected.
• I usually bounce back quicker.
• Then again, I’ve never had my skull opened before.
• Sitting here watching my Mom recover from the hip replacement.
• She’s doing laps around the house with the walker already, and would no doubt be attempting more than she should if my sister wasn’t keeping steady watch.
• Constant vigilance!
• Anyway, recovering faster than the skull thing.
• Perspectives and expectations, right?
• Adjust to the reality.
• Do not cling to your expectations.
• That seems like the worst thing we can do as humans.
• Getting stuck in a specific frame of mind limits your potential.
• You have to be open to change, open to disappointment and redirection.
• (Word always wants me to change “have to” to “must.” No one says must anymore, Word-bro.)
• I’m not (open to change) as much as I’d like to be, anyway.
• Working on it.
• Like this “chocolate croissant” business.
• It’s “pain au chocolat,” people.
• (Always makes me laugh that bread in French is “pain.”)
• Said this before, but if you want the real thing, you need to go to Saint Amon’s.
• Next door to Nords.
• You want a French pastry, go to a bakery operated by a real Frenchman.
• Also, while we’re at it …
• Listen, Panera, if you’d do it right, you wouldn’t need the powdered sugar and frosting crap on top.
• The quest for profit robs us of better-made things.
• Greed ruins everything.
• Veering toward ranting.
• Not gonna do it.
• This time.
• Wait.
• I just ranted about bread.
• My playlist just went from Royal and the Serpent to Killswitch Engage to Rusted Root.
• Like a bunch of stuff.
• Hit random.
• I am a crazy person.
• Actually, I think these lists represent a pretty typical trip through someone’s consciousness.
• Maybe it’s just mine, but …
• I have trouble holding onto one topic for any substantial chunk of time.
• My brain operates in Squirrel in default.
• Concentrating’s hard.
• Maybe I don’t have ADHD, but it sure feels that way.
• Remember me talking about the Kid’s boredom yesterday?
• Yeah …
• I apologize to her all the time for passed-on traits.
• “Sorry, kid. Good luck with that.”
• NP: Lorde, “Buzzcut Season.”
• (When the hell did I hear that and click “like” on it?)
• (“I have no recollection of this place.”)
• (And if you don’t picture Gandalf along with that quote … maybe we can’t be friends.)
• Speaking of Friends: Focus group time!
• Thinking about paying $3/month to follow Poorly Drawn Lines on Patreon, because that dude makes me laugh and I want more.
• You think these lists would sell?
• Exploring options to get paid to write without a corporate/higher-ed middleman.
• Part of the plan.
• Plan the path to freedom.
• How does any metal band think to write a song called “Flying Whales?”
• Have a weekend.
• Embrace the chaos.
• For good.
• Chaotic Good.
• …

Alternate title: Bread Fans