skepticlysm

Epistolary Nonsense

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Skeptifist

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  • Belt
  • I don’t know why it says “belt.”
  • This document’s been open for days.
  • I mean, yes, I need a new belt.
  • Had to get one in Minnesota, and it sucks.
  • Might as well be plastic.
  • Okay, maybe I remember.
  • Facebook heard me say belt, so I’ve been getting a lot of belt ads, which is funny, because I don’t even have the Facebook app on my phone.
  • Anyway.
  • It showed me one I liked, so I clicked.
  • Pretty sure it’s coming from China.
  • Pass on that.
  • Not because I’m opposed to having China make my belt, but because I don’t want to wait on it for two or three weeks.
  • That’s one thing Prime did to me for sure.
  • NOW! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
  • Maybe “belt” was the start of an incomplete to-do list?
  • I do have a to-do list in my journal.
  • There’s a bunch of creative projects on there at the moment.
  • I have a bunch of list stuff in there, period.
  • And I’ve lost the ability to remember if I’ve already written those up and sent them out in the ether.
  • I could go reread the old lists.
  • Scan, really.
  • But then it becomes like walking through a door and forgetting what you came in there for.
  • Let’s get serious.
  • Caramel.
  • Apple.
  • Empanadas.
  • Fuck yes.
  • The Wife actually called me on the phone to ask me if I’d seen they were back.
  • I had not.
  • We scratched the itch.
  • They are just as delicious as I remember.
  • And that marketing campaign.
  • Oof.
  • “Relive Y2k”
  • I mean, yes please?
  • The Matrix was right.
  • 1999 was the peak of human civilization.
  • Saturday, driving up Harvard, I saw someone whom I presume was homeless.
  • I also assume it was a woman.
  • Who had her backside hanging entirely out.
  • Some kind of shredded black shirt, red thong.
  • Footwear.
  • I mean, yes, it was hot.
  • I get it.
  • But I felt like probably she needed some help.
  • I get the feeling of being unsafe some might have being around the homeless.
  • 99 percent of them need help.
  • (I have hands-on experience working with this population.)
  • But we’re all convinced that despite not being asked to be born, you’re only value to society is … work.
  • Fucked up.
  • Something else that happened while driving …
  • Slayer’s “Seasons in the Abyss.”
  • I’m not a huge Slayer fan.
  • But I love that song.
  • (Okay, “love” is a strong word.)
  • And it is appropriate on a Monday morning commute.
  • “Step outside yourself and let your mind go …”
  • “Close your eyes and forget your name …”
  • No?
  • Maybe just me then.
  • Over the weekend, I saw someone post about Harry Potter night at the Driller’s game.
  • Harry Potter Night … at … a … baseball game.
  • I mentioned that to the kid.
  • She said, “What’s wrong with that?”
  • That right there is the difference in generations.
  • Sure, Quidditch, a sport, is a huge part of those books, but … in my day, magic and sports did not mix.
  • “As you go insane, go insannnneeeeee.”
  • My office door sticks.
  • Standing there with my coffee in one hand, keys in the lock, turning, and nothing happens because the door has swollen in its frame.
  • For real, if you want me to not go in, I’ll do that.
  • What if after a Zoom meeting, I can’t get out.
  • I’m on the fourteenth bloody floor.
  • There’s no jumping.
  • And don’t get me started about Zoom and Teams meetings under a no-WFH mandate.
  • Control.
  • Lately, when AI comes up, my brain sticks me into that sequence from Joe Vs. The Volcano when he’s going into work.
  • Gray and drudgery.
  • And I’m back in that spot where I don’t understand the techbro need to replace creatives.
  • You can’t smash out the creative impulse just because you want to make another buck.
  • Art is the soul of humanity.
  • Why do you think there are cave paintings?
  • Just one of the things happening today … I’m researching yoga.
  • I’ve talked about that before.
  • On the work list, not this one.
  • I need to be doing that.
  • Prednisone withdrawals are wrecking my joints at the moment.
  • I’m in this stage where they hurt so bad, I feel the need to stretch them incessantly.
  • I dropped an earbud.
  • Getting down to get it was excruciating.
  • This shit better end.
  • That’s all I’m saying.
  • From time to time, I stick Spotify in Lyric mode.
  • Today, during Anthrax’s “I Am The Law,” it called him Judge Drucker instead of Dredd, and said, “Druck it” instead of Drokk.
  • Joey’s not mispronouncing anything.
  • Spotify’s lyric AI sucks.
  • And you should not trust it.
  • It’ll have you singing “Dirty Deeds and the Thunderchief.”
  • Another thing I saw the other day …
  • This clothing company called Other.
  • Saw they were doing some Metallica apparel.
  • I followed them.
  • Yeah, $100 t-shirts.
  • Wtaf.
  • Sorry, sirs, but that’s “getting tricked by biz-ness.”
  • …
  • I came up with a new short story idea the other day.
  • First one in a long time.
  • The Book does not allow me to cheat on it creatively.
  • I’m going to have to write this one, however.
  • Might be epistolary.
  • Can journal entries be considered epistolary?
  • Whatever, that’s the format I’m thinking.
  • Only if I do it that way, dialogue might we weird.
  • (I might be overthinking that part.)
  • Bat!

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