skepticlysm

Don't you believe it.

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  • Until It Types …

    Until It Types …

    • Yesterday kept me from typing.
    • Today, if I don’t do it right now, will do that same.
    • A couple of doc appts.
    • A wake.
    • Driving practice.
    • Tumbling from one thing to the next.
    • While the world falls apart.
    • Could just repeat the Han Solo dialogue from the prison block in Star Wars.
    • (Sorry, I’m not calling it “A New Hope.”)
    • I did have a list in a notebook for yesterday’s.
    • One of the things on it, “Donette Bag,” I don’t even remember why I …
    • Waitaminute.
    • Shrinkflation strikes again.
    • The little strip of tabs you used to close the bag?
    • Gone.
    • Staleness .
    • At least the donettes are the same size, right?
    • RIGHT?
    • Maybe that’s why I can actually bite them again …
    • Hmmm.
    • Before we get into today’s topic (yes, I have a topic, though I’m not feeling it as much now as I did yesterday when I scribbled the note …), let’s talk about judgment.
    • There is no fucking E in the middle of judgment.
    • Dammit all.
    • Is it ironic, do you think, that I’m being judgy about judgment?
    • There used to be a forum, 20 years ago, called The Grammar Nazis.
    • And people on there would cut and paste bad grammar examples and destroy it like the high-browed jerks they were.
    • Made me laugh all the time.
    • Don’t know if it still exists.
    • Not going to look for it.
    • They probably had to change the name, if it’s still around.
    • I get twitchy reading all the memes and reels and whatnot with grammar and spelling errors.
    • Typos happen, sure.
    • I have them all the time in here.
    • I think.
    • But this is a lot of words.
    • I meme’s got like, what, 20?
    • You don’t notice when you mess that up?
    • Don’t care?
    • Don’t know the difference?
    • It does make filtering content easier.
    • It’s weird, right, because that same approach to content is what makes AI attractive.
    • You’ve got a lot of artists and creatives in different fields scared because people who do not have the skills are creating “art.”
    • Writing a prompt makes you an “artist” these days.
    • There’ll be some truth to that.
    • Could be a situation where people who did not have access to the training and education have found a tool that allows them to finally express themselves.
    • Definitely a little bit of that.
    • Happened in music, too.
    • I used to have this … argument … all the time about preference vs. quality.
    • For instance (and I’ll use things I like as examples so as not to make anyone feel crappy) …
    • I’ll go with the Mission: Impossible flicks.
    • Are they hallmarks of cinema, destined to be taught in filmmaking classes (that you can get on Udemy before they’re eradicated by corporate use of AI)?
    • Oh, hell no.
    • But I like them anyway.
    • Liking them doesn’t make them “good.”
    • It’s still okay to like them, however.
    • Which does, however, get us to the heart of the problem.
    • If you don’t know the difference between quality and not, does it make any difference?
    • If you don’t care …
    • AI makes the next blockbuster movie.
    • Everyone goes to see it.
    • It makes $500 million.
    • Queue the chain of AI-generated movies.
    • Screenwriters end up working … at Walgreen’s (where, let’s face it, they already do).
    • The human voice dies.
    • /end scene.
    • “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
    • Seems like the American cautionary tale at the moment.
    • ‘Cept swap out “scientists” for “billionaires” or “politicians.”
    • You can see the things I struggle with in these lists, my worries and anxieties, whether I try to avoid discussing them or not.
    • Sigh.
    • Remember the book merry-go-round I was on?
    • Ended up reading the Jack Reacher book they’re using for Season 4.
    • This is your brain on easy prose.
    • Maybe I should’ve used books instead of movies up there.
    • But then … no one reads anymore.
    • …
    • Truth: the bullet lists exist as part of my Don Quixote campaign to get people reading again.
    • If you give people good, compelling content, they’ll drop those phones and read, man.
    • (Tell me the movie I just stole and adapted that from …)
    • (I can hear his voice.)
    • I’m in marketing.
    • I know this works, honestly.
    • I have almost 30 years of experience in it.
    • Authentic content of any kind with a good voice kicks the crap out of rote nonsense every time.
    • Stand out or be lost.
    • Do whatever you can to combat the Algorithm.
    • That’s my new life Antagonist.
    • The Algorithm.
    • Followed by whatever proper names they give AI as it becomes sentient.
    • Damn you, Gibson.
    • Lists like this come from a lack of music.
    • Brought to you by … Tinnitis! Conversation! Interruptions!
    • This is why, for me personally, wfh is better than being in the office.
    • Interruptions kill creativity.
    • But also, inherent to creativity is time to stare into the void and drool.
    • If you don’t have time to NOT do the thing, you’ll just get stuff that checks the boxes.
    • That “subject” I mentioned earlier?
    • Was going to write about Fear.
    • One of those lists with some gravitas.
    • Instead we get this.
    • I should be ashamed of myselves.
    • I bought a three-pack of those little Moleskine notebooks.
    • Field Notes work, too, but Moleskine is better paper.
    • So I can carry it around in my pocket for when inspiration strikes.
    • Doing so makes me feel guilty I’m not journaling properly.
    • I should’ve been Catholic for the amount of self-imposed guilt I tote around.
    • You know, when they do a craniotomy, a bunch of nerves get cut.
    • Everything around my temple has zero feeling.
    • And I get tingling around my eye, to the tip of my nose, in my cheek, across my forehead.
    • Disconcerting.
    • Yeah, maybe I’m not here to cheer you up.
    • The recent release of Metallica’s remastered “Load” has a ton of instrumental demos of the songs.
    • There’s one of “Until it Sleeps” bouncing around in my head.
    • It’s good stuff.
    • There.
    • Music.
    • Enjoy your holiday weekend eve.
    • Question of the day: What’s your favorite piece of media you know is crap, but like it anyway?

  • Now We’re Playing with Portugals

    Now We’re Playing with Portugals

    • “Retire 17.5 years early by moving to Portugal!”
    • That ad popped up in Instagram first thing this morning.
    • Ah, yes please?
    • No, I don’t speak Portuguese, but …  I can learn enough to buy groceries, order from a menu, and get bus and train tickets.
    • Plus, five years and you can become an EU citizen!
    • Having lived in Europe … Yes, I would move there and never come back.
    • The terms of my current indenturedship do not allow for such hopes, but …
    • Yes, yes I would.
    • Steph and I trade house listings from Norway and Denmark.
    • You can get a place for less than $200k.
    • Sure, you’re living in the artic north, and close to those desperate Russians, but … it’s affordable and the scenery is a helluva lot better than Oklahoma.
    • The thing I keep stressing to my daughter … do your best to not go into debt, because debt keeps you from freedom.
    • Debt and fear of financial insecurity has kept me from acting on many things I’d like to have done.
    • Anyway, what’s up.
    • Happy Tuesday.
    • Yesterday, saw some random article telling me NOT to post anything personal on Facebook or social media.
    • Duh.
    • Those darn hackers!
    • Again, I have f-all for them to take, but … what’s the point of social media if you can’t be, you know, social on it.
    • You do not connect with people if you’re not sharing.
    • They’re going to have to call social media something else.
    • Or at least all this shit that’s been monetized.
    • We’re going to have to boot up old versions of social and get back to its roots.
    • “They” have made it hard.
    • I saw this Instagram video, a guy (bupc_boopsy) I’ve seen before who posts GenX stuff.
    • He talked about posting on social like I do, how we do it, and more importantly, why.
    • “Social media is the equivalent of that yard with all the bikes parked on it.”
    • “We were the background noise of society.”
    • “There are so many GenXers on social media because it’s the first time in our lives anyone has asked us what we think.”
    • “We’re not here to be recognized, to be influencers, we’re just here to be seen, to shout into the void and to finally hear somebody yell back, ‘Dude. Same.’”
    • The reel resonated.
    • (I’ll put the link in the comments.)
    • Dude is doing what I’m trying to do, only I don’t like to be on camera.
    • The type-written word or nothing.
    • But I can build community, by god.
    • Which is odd coming from an introvert.
    • I’m kind of an extroverted introvert.
    • Depends on who’s around.
    • At some point, I’ll flip the audience switch from Friends Only to … everyone.
    • Maybe.
    • I’m not sure I want to add the non-filtered dumbfucks to the comment section.
    • (Same on the Discord.)
    • So yeah.
    • Not the Monday rant.
    • I think you should expect ranting on Mondays.
    • Sorta my schtick.
    • That’s my crazy.
    • After I finished yesterday’s list, got all that out of my system, I started a new Word doc with notes.
    • I’m writing from that.
    • Next up, books.
    • After watching the show, I threw a couple of those Dept. Q books on my Kindle.
    • 2025: the year of book sampling.
    • Because I’m having trouble sticking.
    • Again, it’s me, probably, not the books.
    • I’ve started three books in three days.
    • “Navola,” Paolo Bacigalupi
    • “Nettle & Bone,” T. Kingfisher (mentioned yesterday)
    • “Modern Divination,” Isa Agajanian
    • Other than the first one, those other two were on the TBR list.
    • “Navola” started pretty good.
    • Might stick with it.
    • My reading reflects my mood: restless.
    • The “Project Hail Mary” trailer looked good.
    • Book accurate.
    • And it was a fun book.
    • Much closer to “The Martian” than “Artemis” was.
    • Dude has a simple writing style, but it’s jam-packed with well researched knowledge.
    • Simple is good, and I enjoy his stuff.
    • Off the cuff, I feel like I read more sci-fi than fantasy.
    • I’m not sure it’s true.
    • Probably closer to even.
    • Goes in cycles.
    • Like last year, I read all that Gibson and Doctorow stuff.
    • Which reminds me …
    • Now is a super good time to read “Little Brother” if you haven’t.
    • That trilogy is good stuff, and current events relevant.
    • But yeah, sci-fi is good.
    • I wish I wrote it.
    • During the pandemic, I started a short about AIs (not A1s) going for joy rides in implanted humans.
    • Need to finish that.
    • It’s more of a novella than a short, but definitely not a book.
    • Gotta get the book out of the way so I can work on some other stuff.
    • Stay on target.
    • Tons of good sci-fi to read.
    • Gibson.
    • Doctorow.
    • Scalzi (“Old Man’s War”).
    • Simmons (“Hyperion”).
    • The annual reread of “Dune.”
    • The semi-annual reread of “Ender’s Game.”
    • Those “Murderbot” novels are a good time, though overpriced.
    • (There’s a good story about those books saving the life of the author …)
    • And on and on.
    • Youtube fed me an electronic artist, Caught In Joy, yesterday after I watched that trailer.
    • Digging it so far.
    • Retro-atmospheric electronica.
    • I started to go look him up because of the AI thing, but seems to be legit because I was not fed it by spotify …
    • Ugh.
    • We’re living in a Gibsonian dystopia.
    • Yay?
    • Okay, I’m out.
    • Gotta head to the hospital … to get the PICC removed!
    • Wooooooooo

    https://www.instagram.com/p/DLYE3V4umZO

  • Seriously, Don’t Read This One

    Seriously, Don’t Read This One

    • Hard to avoid the medical nonsense at the moment.
    • Getting the PICC line out as soon as someone figures out the orders.
    • I cannot adequately express how much I’m anticipating this.
    • I have had to sit here and watch the muscle melt from my bones, what little cardio I had left evaporate.
    • I can do stretches and whatnot.
    • I’ve done less than I could’ve.
    • (Gotta stress that part; I could be doing better rather than sitting here whining about it.)
    • I was doing the walking, but that damn rash.
    • But the rebuilding begins soon as that thing is out.
    • Gone along with the excuses.
    • Today or tomorrow, we’re turning the corner.
    • I hate waiting.
    • I hate waiting on anything.
    • Patience is not one of my virtues.
    • Other people spending my Time currency is going to be less and less tolerated as we progress.
    • (One of my hospital room revelations.)
    • The other medical stuff … We’ve been taking care of Mom for almost a week.
    • Hard seeing your parent in pain.
    • She’s doing well, obviously.
    • Knew she would.
    • Having to keep tabs on her to make sure she doesn’t overdo it.
    • Because that’s where I get it from, after all.
    • Have had birthdays in the last week.
    • Have a friend who’s lost a parent.
    • Had a dumbass internet death scare.
    • It’s a lot.
    • And that’s leaving out the unnecessary, manufactured unrest of the country.
    • Hope you are taking care of yourselves.
    • Oh, the other thing.
    • The bigger thing.
    • At the precipice of returning to work.
    • Probably going to ease into some wfh these next two weeks before we go back to the Mayo.
    • If they let me, anyway.
    • If they don’t, I’ll sit here and burn out the rest of my FMLA and continue to fend off the creeping work stress.
    • Because it gets into my head even when I’m not there.
    • Insidious.
    • And bullshit.
    • Work isn’t why we’re here.
    • The toll is overpriced.
    • I’m sorry, but you’re never going to convince me of the validity of Puritanical work ethos.
    • It’s propaganda.
    • You know, this is not what the list is for.
    • Not its purpose.
    • (Though this one’s pretty typical for a Monday.)
    • It’s not supposed to be a journal.
    • Supposed to be a little more on the entertainment side.
    • Like, I started reading T. Kingfisher’s “Nettle and Bone” a couple nights ago.
    • Digging it so far.
    • Pretty prose.
    • Interesting world.
    • I had to take a break from Carl and Donut.
    • Not sure if that’s an indictment of me or the book.
    • Probably me.
    • Adult onset adhd.
    • Which I’m more inclined to think is happening.
    • Boredom induced.
    • Takes more to hold my interest outside of that goddamn phone.
    • Oh.
    • That reminds me.
    • The other day, I saw an Instagram post that used the word “seggs” (with the e as an asterisk) to substitute for sex.
    • What the actual fuck.
    • Apparently the algorithms are filtering for language, so people are coming up with “creative” ways to get around it.
    • Which makes them sound like 12yos.
    • Seggs.
    • …
    • This world is starting to piss me off.
    • More.
    • Seriously though, what kind of head-in-the-sand person are you if you can’t even read the word “sex?”
    • Pretending something doesn’t exist is not the way you cope with anything.
    • Avoidance is the enemy.
    • Another one of those things where … I’m sorry you can’t deal with it, but that doesn’t give you the right to make others filter it for you.
    • A country a third-filled with adult-aged infants.
    • Check out some of the stuff in the Big Beautiful Bill if you don’t believe me.
    •  Politicians of all kinds are not looking out for us.
    • There are a few.
    • But most of them do not understand … do not gaf … about the public service aspect of their “jobs.”
    • I should not post this one.
    • Reread it.
    • Should not.
    • It’s all an angry little man gnashing his teeth and spewing verbal frustration.
    • Cept for that one little part about the book.
    • We rewatched “Super 8” over the weekend.
    • Could not help but notice the influence it had on “Stranger Things.”
    • (Damn you, Facebook, for making italics a pain in the ass. Yes, I know you can, but the hoops make it ridiculous. However, the quotes around titles when they should be italicized drives me insane.)
    • Good flick, though.
    • Again, reminds me of the gang and our tween and teen adventures.
    • People close to me keep trying to convince me to write a book of those adventures.
    • I don’t want to because … I’m the protagonist in my memories, and those are suspect and not necessarily accurate depictions of other points of view.
    • I would hate it if I wrote it from mine, it did not line up with theirs, and they hated it.
    • Like, there’s an audience of eight, and their approval is more relevant than an Amazon rating.
    • Sure, it sounds like an excuse.
    • But I have a lot of lines I will not cross.
    • Would it be liberating to have fewer morals?
    • Fewer ideals?
    • Less guilt?
    • Less responsibility?
    • If you do not feel responsibility, then you’re probably not paying an internal price.
    • If you’re not paying an internal price, you can do whatever you want.
    • Look down on whoever you want.
    • Be Gordon Gekko with his “Greed is good” bullshit.
    • And as karma (and other things) isn’t real …
    • Now we’re getting somewhere, right?
    • The heart of those differing perspectives.
    • One of the Discord denizens discovered Spotify uses AI “bands.”
    • I read about a month ago about them creating AI “artists” and having them cover a song and then throwing those into the algorithm.
    • There’s AI as a tool that can help us do some things more efficiently.
    • Then there’s AI used for creating profit at the expense of artists’ careers.
    • Again, greed isn’t good.
    • Goddammit.
    • This list is a skippable offense.
    • I warned you at the beginning.
    • Or I will when I post it anyway, which puts these last bullets into the time loop.
    • Have the Monday you deserve.
    • …
    • Take the Monday you deserve.
    • Fucking take it.
    • (The “take” is italicized.)
    • (Which means jack on the blog because I can italicize there.)
    • (But I write in Word.)
    • (if I cut-and-paste from the blog, it jacks up the facebook post.)
    • (Screw all this; I’m moving to monetization land.)
    • (I may not be able to do lists for work anymore.)
    • (These may have destroyed my filter.)
    • (“Who will life to escaping? Who is bad milk blood robot? Scream not working because space make deaf.”)

  • Belonging Kinds

    Belonging Kinds

    • First, “The Belonging Kind” is a Gibson short story in Burning Chrome.
    • And it’s a trip.
    • It’s probably a metaphor for what I’m about to discuss, but he’s smarter than I am and can be more circumspect.
    • Do you feel the need to belong to a group?
    • Like, do you need a group to define yourself?
    • I knew someone once who had this crazy drive to belong to something.
    • The things he wanted to belong to were … control groups.
    • Law enforcement stuff.
    • I didn’t understand it.
    • Still don’t, really.
    • I haven’t even been able to make myself stay in the Metallica fan club.
    • This is one of those things where I want to say, “I don’t,” but that isn’t true.
    • “Metalhead.”
    • Family and friend groups.
    • Is there a difference between interests we use to define ourselves and groups we think we need to belong to?
    • Why do we need external things to define ourselves?
    • Because that’s the language we have?
    • Clearly, this is the Rash talking.
    • A kind of madness.
    • I am going mad.
    • (Queue up the opening of Anthrax’s “Madhouse.”)
    • NP: Twenty-one Pilots, “The Line.”
    • Yesterday, I got my Casa Bonita Founders Club card.
    • Which makes me laugh.
    • I got on the mailing list when we were last in Colorado.
    • The Casa had a months’ long waiting list just for the soft-open.
    • Foolishly we thought we might go.
    • Apparently, it’s a destination now?
    • I probably only went a handful of times in Tulsa.
    • We were El Chico people.
    • That was my first Mexican restaurant experience.
    • What’s cool about Mexican restaurants … the variety of takes.
    • Like the differences between enchiladas, etc.
    • El Chico established “Tex-Mex” in my mind.
    • Stuff drowned in sauces. Con Carne, people!
    • Dear lord, I’m having trouble avoiding passive voice today.
    • Every damn sentence wants to use “was” for its verb.
    • I can’t lecture people about writing technique when I can’t do it myself.
    • Dammit all.
    • Were.
    • Was.
    • Is.
    • Bah.
    • Crap.
    • Writing in bullet lists promotes lazy writing habits.
    • Apparently.
    • See?
    • A damn adverb.
    • Motherfucking adverbs.
    • There I go, swearing again.
    • You know.
    • You can’t have known me and expect clean language.
    • Except in the book I’m writing because, well, it’s a YA book.
    • I know how it happened.
    • Still weird.
    • I need to get it finished so I can write other things.
    • Though the sequel is already a third plotted.
    • (IS; again.)
    • I am not currently fit for public consumption.
    • I need to go stand in a field and scream, except the heat would inflame the Rash.
    • This cannot stand.
    • Turning into a fine whine today.
    • I can’t wait to see F1.
    • Dude makes good movies.
    • Also, did you see the Denis V. got the directing gig for the next 007 flick?
    • Mixed feelings about that.
    • Dude is one of top two best living sci-fi directors.
    • But … he’s directed great non-sci-fi movies, too.
    • I think they’re about to shoot “Dune: Messiah.”
    • (About time for a Dune rewatch. Been a month or two.)
    • He’s one of my top-five favorite directors.
    • I’ll watch whatever he makes.
    • Except that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Hugh Jackman with the kidnapped girls.
    • Can’t watch a movie about kidnapped daughters.
    • I have not watched a bunch of stuff in my convalescence.
    • Weird.
    • Has been so much more draining than I expected.
    • I usually bounce back quicker.
    • Then again, I’ve never had my skull opened before.
    • Sitting here watching my Mom recover from the hip replacement.
    • She’s doing laps around the house with the walker already, and would no doubt be attempting more than she should if my sister wasn’t keeping steady watch.
    • Constant vigilance!
    • Anyway, recovering faster than the skull thing.
    • Perspectives and expectations, right?
    • Adjust to the reality.
    • Do not cling to your expectations.
    • That seems like the worst thing we can do as humans.
    • Getting stuck in a specific frame of mind limits your potential.
    • You have to be open to change, open to disappointment and redirection.
    • (Word always wants me to change “have to” to “must.” No one says must anymore, Word-bro.)
    • I’m not (open to change) as much as I’d like to be, anyway.
    • Working on it.
    • Like this “chocolate croissant” business.
    • It’s “pain au chocolat,” people.
    • (Always makes me laugh that bread in French is “pain.”)
    • Said this before, but if you want the real thing, you need to go to Saint Amon’s.
    • Next door to Nords.
    • You want a French pastry, go to a bakery operated by a real Frenchman.
    • Also, while we’re at it …
    • Listen, Panera, if you’d do it right, you wouldn’t need the powdered sugar and frosting crap on top.
    • The quest for profit robs us of better-made things.
    • Greed ruins everything.
    • Veering toward ranting.
    • Not gonna do it.
    • This time.
    • Wait.
    • I just ranted about bread.
    • My playlist just went from Royal and the Serpent to Killswitch Engage to Rusted Root.
    • Like a bunch of stuff.
    • Hit random.
    • I am a crazy person.
    • Actually, I think these lists represent a pretty typical trip through someone’s consciousness.
    • Maybe it’s just mine, but …
    • I have trouble holding onto one topic for any substantial chunk of time.
    • My brain operates in Squirrel in default.
    • Concentrating’s hard.
    • Maybe I don’t have ADHD, but it sure feels that way.
    • Remember me talking about the Kid’s boredom yesterday?
    • Yeah …
    • I apologize to her all the time for passed-on traits.
    • “Sorry, kid. Good luck with that.”
    • NP: Lorde, “Buzzcut Season.”
    • (When the hell did I hear that and click “like” on it?)
    • (“I have no recollection of this place.”)
    • (And if you don’t picture Gandalf along with that quote … maybe we can’t be friends.)
    • Speaking of Friends: Focus group time!
    • Thinking about paying $3/month to follow Poorly Drawn Lines on Patreon, because that dude makes me laugh and I want more.
    • You think these lists would sell?
    • Exploring options to get paid to write without a corporate/higher-ed middleman.
    • Part of the plan.
    • Plan the path to freedom.
    • How does any metal band think to write a song called “Flying Whales?”
    • Have a weekend.
    • Embrace the chaos.
    • For good.
    • Chaotic Good.
    • …

    Alternate title: Bread Fans

  • Somewhere Outside of …

    Somewhere Outside of …

    • And here we go.
    • Been to the doc twice today.
    • Seriously.
    • Every day this week.
    • Wtaf.
    • I’m ready to be done.
    • Then head to the gym.
    • Well, not that fast.
    • I need to set up the bike trainer again.
    • And get my home resistance workout ready to go.
    • Because I’m so out of shape, if I went straight to weights I would not be able to move for five days.
    • Starting from scratch.
    • Couch to … something.
    • It is definitely a project akin to restoring a classic car.
    • Not that I’m a classic.
    • Hubris.
    • But about the same age.
    • Always boggles my mind I was only a handful of years older than my first car, which was considered a “classic muscle car” by the time I got it at 17.
    • Regretful Life Decision #667: Selling the Camaro instead of just park-and-tarping it.
    • Sigh.
    • Live now, not then, not when.
    • But seriously, looking forward to that good muscle soreness.
    • You know what I’m talking about.
    • If I tried to kung fu right now, I’d throw my back out and need to borrow one of my mom’s walkers.
    • This just happened: Apparently I did the “Gangnam Style” dance for the kid when she was little, trying to get her to laugh.
    • That’s what my sister says, anyway.
    • I have no recollection of that, and I sure as hell don’t need to see that.
    • I can’t dance, man.
    • Not a bit.
    • Like Steph won’t even let me try.
    • Too self-conscious.
    • Which is funny, because … Life truth: unless you’re supermodel hot, or Elaine, or a professional dancer, no one’s watching you dance.
    • That’s a life lesson, really.
    • No one’s paying attention 99 percent of the time.
    • Fly your freak flag high.
    • (Borrowed that.)
    • What is the magic formula to live life honestly, to literally give no F’s about what anyone thinks of you?
    • That’s what authenticity is.
    • Not craving attention.
    • Not the shit the Cheeto-in-Chief does.
    • Went to Walgreen’s to get my industrial-strength Benedryl, and on my way to the pharmacy, I grabbed a Snickers for the kid (on the wife’s text rec, though I know better than to go to Walgreen’s and not return without chocolate).
    • (Have a little faith.)
    • After I waited out the older dude in front of me, I stepped up to the counter.
    • The Walgreenarian said, “What can I help you with today?”
    • “I have a pick-up.”
    • She nodded. “Last name.”
    • I gave it.
    • She nodded. “We have two for you.”
    • She retrieved them from the C bucket, then came back.
    • I’d tossed the Snickers on the counter.
    • She glanced down. “Oh, you got me a Snickers!”
    • “Do you need one? I’ll go back and get you one.”
    • …
    • “Seriously.”
    • She smiled really big the whole rest of the time.
    • I would’ve done it, too.
    • If not for those damn kids.
    • For real though.
    • You could make someone’s day giving them a candy bar.
    • Or at least make their 15 minutes before someone else shits on it.
    • The kid is battling with “boredom” today.
    • Show, don’t tell.
    • She tossed a pen at me.
    • I threw it back.
    • She threw it again.
    • I said, “I’m writing.”
    • Pouty bottom lip came out.
    • “What do you want?”
    • “I want to go somewhere!”
    • “Where?”
    • “I don’t know.”
    • “I’m not sitting in five o’clock traffic with no destination.”
    • More pouty lip.
    • C’mon, kid.
    • I got like 300 words to go.
    • Parental guilt.
    • If only I were a bad parent …
    • Or had more than one kid.
    • But seriously, I’m in a house with four women, a girl dog, and two girl cats.
    • It’s just me and Snacks.
    • On my left, the bored kid.
    • On my right, Liho the cat, who knows it’s the five o’clock hour and is demanding her evening food tribute.
    • She’s “my” cat.
    • Has resting bitch face.
    • Always scowling.
    • Always demanding.
    • When I’m in the kitchen, she winds around my feet making the “You’re going to pick me up” sound.
    • I’ve covered that before.
    • The cat makes different sounds for different demands.
    • The pick-up thing happens in the morning, at dinner, or pretty much any time I’m trying to, you know, DO something.
    • Her needs come before making coffee or dinner, and if you don’t hit the time limit, she’ll slash or bite you in punishment.
    • The hell, man.
    • “The Chosen One” label always comes with deeds to endure.
    • Taking out the trash the other night, I saw bats fluttering their way across the sky.
    • Made me think of HST.
    • Bats always make me think of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.”
    • Obviously.
    • Flirted a bit with “What We Do in the Shadows.”
    • “Bat!”
    • Still makes me laugh when I think about that.
    • But HST owns the bat association.
    • He could take Dracula in a straight-up fight.
    • No contest.
    • I’d order that emotional support HST, but it looks like it’s a China product, and I’m getting tired of things taking a month to get here when I order them.
    • Still waiting on one of Steph’s birthday presents.
    • Ordered it on the 6th.
    • You would think ten days is adequate time.
    • Apparently not.
    • Curses!
    • (Shakes fist at the sky.)
    • I don’t shake my fist at the sky.
    • Ever.
    • I just clench them at my sides and tremble with suppressed rage.
    • RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT!
    • (Unless it’s summer, then eagerly await the setting of the sun because F this heat.)
    • See you tomorrow.
  • Scratch That Itch

    Scratch That Itch

    • Started up Spotify, which picked up where I left off yesterday.
    • “Disgustipated,” by Tool.
    • Nevermind it’s funny.
    • “These are the cries of the carrots. Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses!”
    • That’s only half the reason I like it.
    • The other half is the percussion.
    • Danny’s a genius.
    • Has to be one of the best of all time.
    • Though … there are different kinds of musicians.
    • Those who are technically brilliant.
    • Those who can phenomenally match the soul of the song.
    • A precious few who can do both.
    • I’m not making a list.
    • I do not have the expertise.
    • I do think Danny can do both.
    • Or like David Gilmour of Pink Floyd on guitar.
    • (Again, my perpetual promotion of “Comfortably Numb.”)
    • “The “Comfortably Numb” guitar solos by David Gilmour are iconic and widely regarded as some of the best in rock history. The song features two distinct solos, both of which utilize the B minor pentatonic scale and are known for their expressive bends, phrasing, and use of vibrato.”
    • Thanks, Google AI!
    • Which means, of course, take everything in that copy/paste for what it’s worth.
    • (Might be worth nothing, but holy hell, I love those solos.)
    • That just played, btw.
    • Followed up by “Breathing Lightning” by Anthrax, which is a damn good song.
    • Good effing lord.
    • I have an all-over body rash.
    • Have had for days.
    • Literally everywhere.
    • Docs at the Mayo said, “It can’t be related to the meds or it would’ve started before now. Take a benedryl.”
    • Did that.
    • Still itchy.
    • Can’t get into the primary care people until Thursday, which makes it a perfect whole week of doc appts.
    • And before you say, “Hey, they make ointments for that kind of thing …”
    • I would have to bathe in the stuff.
    • Not cost effective.
    • I’m losing my mind.
    • This from someone who’s had 24/7 tinnitus since 2009.
    • But … it’s in my armpits, behind my knees … holy shit this is worse than having my skull cut open.
    • I’m going to have to go take a scalding hot shower.
    • You increase the pain to lessen the pain.
    • Forced recalibration?
    • Deliberate perspective shift?
    • Those of you who get poison ivy know what I’m talking about.
    • Running that shit under hot, hot water is almost orgasmic.
    • I remember doing that kind of thing as a kid.
    • The “adding pain lessens pain” thing.
    • When you’d have a splinter or something wanting to be infected, I’d mash on it to make it hurt worse for a moment.
    • No?
    • Just me then.
    • Weird.
    • Got it.
    • I can endure all kinds of physical hardships, but a goddamn itch pushes the limit more than almost anything.
    • Possibly controversial take: the “Bring the Noise” with Public Enemy and Anthrax is better than the original (except for the parts where the Anthrax guys rap).
    • (Let the real rappers rap, boys.)
    • I remember “I’m the Man” getting played at my first junior high dance where kids from both our town’s schools could attend.
    • We expected rumbles.
    • I don’t remember any.
    • “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
    • Yesterday, driving home from picking up dinner, the state of the road set my brain off on a spiral.
    • It drives me insane every time I hear someone bitch about taxes.
    • Taxes fund our society.
    • Full stop.
    • The road I drove on last night … full of patches and potholes and cracks and unevenness.
    • Moon rover.
    • Tax money would fix that.
    • If our city collected enough of it.
    • And that money was spent properly.
    • instead, dipshit congress people (who are those wealthy enough to run), continually misspend the tax money collected, work to lessen taxes collected, and do not really give a shit about the implications of defunding valuable programs that allow us to have a functioning modern society.
    • Roads. Schools. Social welfare programs.
    • Sorry, kids, but taxes are VITAL.
    • Maybe we should all be focusing on how these people opt to spend our tax dollars instead of being catfished by inflammatory subject matters like abortion or sexuality.
    • Once again, I’m asking you to stop believing the propaganda and start looking at what the policies do for our society.
    • Sure, not everything affects you personally.
    • But you have to stop and assess its impact on the greater good.
    • (The greater good.)
    • Government is not a business.
    • It exists to serve the people.
    • All of us.
    • Even you.
    • Yes, there’s spending on things you don’t think are important.
    • Cool. There’s more than you here.
    • That fucking road is embarrassing is what I’m saying.
    • Should not be allowed to get into that condition.
    • I wonder why it’s not a priority?
    • (Because choices have to be made about where to spend the limited funds.)
    • Defunding education makes the country less competitive globally, makes people less able to critically think (and thus easier to be manipulated), and limits upward economic mobility.
    • OMG, taxes.
    • Sorry, but privatization of services is not for the greater good.
    • It always, ALWAYS, leads to shittier service and increased cost.
    • Because greed, and fuck Gordon, is not good.
    • Freedom and prosperity aren’t free, and that includes more than robust military.
    • This from a shitty road.
    • Road’s got me ranting.
    • And this damned itching.
    • We’re going to extend this a bit so we don’t end on an argument.
    • Happy birthday, Candice!
    • We all said that to her (because she’s in town to help care for Mom).
    • Didn’t sing.
    • I’m not from a family of singers.
    • Or performers.
    • Or musicians.
    • Well, one of my mom’s cousins is a musician.
    • Symphonic.
    • Taught at a college and everything.
    • Anyway, there will be bundt cake.
    • And responsibility for choosing dinner.
    • Hallelujah!
    • My playlist went from “As the Rush Comes” to “Welcome Home (Sanitarium).”
    • Natives getting restless now.
    • Mutiny in the air.
    • Mirror stares back hard.
    • Seems the only way for reaching out again.
    • (I left out all the killing business.)
    • Hetfield writes good lyrics most the time.
    • Better riffs, but still.
    • And then to “Enjoy the Silence.”
    • Randomized playlists of songs you’ve liked are the bomb.
    • I wonder if randomized life would be as satisfying.
    • I’m guessing … no.
    • Because that’s pretty much what we have, and we’re missing the “like” button.
    • See you tomorrow.
    • If the itch doesn’t send me to the sanitarium between now and then.

  • June 24

    June 24

    • This getting old shit sucks.
    • I understand my generation’s parents are getting to the age where they get replacement parts and augmentations.
    • Possibly courting mortality.
    • Oof.
    • Mom had a hip replacement Monday, so we’ve been busy.
    • Yes, she’s up and moving already.
    • With a walker, but still.
    • It is what I expected.
    • She gave me the fount that is my stubbornness.
    • Obviously.
    • Like me, she’ll probably expect to be better before she actually is.
    • She’s bunking with us for a couple of weeks.
    • In no small part because she has eight or nine Great Pyrenees, and she would have pretty good odds of getting bowled over.
    • (Falling when you’ve just had a hip replacement is not physician-recommended.)
    • Dog Rescuer.
    • So was my sister at one time.
    • Stubbornness and caretaking run in the family.
    • My uncle showed up for the surgery on Monday, and we ended up talking to him at the hospital Starbucks for the couple of hours Mom was in the OR.
    • Good talk.
    • He’s a doctor, so again, the caretaking thing seems to run in the genes on that side of the family.
    • I bailed on pre-med, one of those decisions I regret, so that had been my path at one time, too.
    • (Given what my uncle said yesterday, I should’ve been a radiologist.)
    • I’d planned on being a shrink.
    • Sometimes, I still think about being a therapist.
    • I don’t think I want to incur that much student debt again, especially not when we’re about to co-fund the kid’s college.
    • It would be fun to be back in school.
    • I loved grad school.
    • Would probably enjoy lower-level stuff now.
    • If I had the time to audit classes, I totally would.
    • Teaching would be rad, too.
    • The Path.
    • It’s interesting to look back and remember those choices that had an outsized impact on the course of your life.
    • Literally one thing.
    • Boom.
    • There are lots of little unnoticed moments that shape our lives, too, but it’s the big ones you remember.
    • Butterfly effect, right?
    • That makes me think of that Machines of Loving Grace song, “Butterfly Wings.”
    • Loved that band.
    • Still like those first two albums quite a bit.
    • I listen when I remember.
    • They had a song on The Crow soundtrack, “Golgotha Tenement Blues,” which was a pretty good song, but they never blew up.
    • I may go listen to them today.
    • After we figure out what we’re doing for dinner.
    • One of the worst things in adulting.
    • When you don’t know what you want, but you sure know what you don’t want when you hear it.
    • It’s probably going to be Meddys (it was).
    • (I’ll cook tomorrow; it’s been a couple of days and nights of exhaustion.)
    • (Know when you’re beaten.)
    • (Meddys rocks, btw, and it’s not terribly expensive by comparison.)
    • Shawarma rules.
    • I had no idea.
    • My exposure to it before now was the end-credits scene after “Avengers.”
    • (I want to do a head-to-head comparison between shawarma and gyros.)
    • I’ll be a lot more excited about food when I’m also exercising again.
    • I’ll have that date on Friday.
    • Can’t wait.
    • Going five-for-five days with doc appts this week.
    • Combine that with mom’s stuff …
    • I’m bloody tired of doctors and medical facilities.
    • Not finished yet, but … soon.
    • …
    • Do not trust to flow.
    • It has abandoned these bullets.
    • I blame the exhaustion.
    • Then again, sometimes the stream of consciousness has rapids.
    • My TBR pile keeps growing.
    • I think I’m on the last book (currently) in the Dungeon Crawler Carl series (which I heard someone on the Internet describe as an “intergalactic Hunger Games”).
    • It’s good stuff.
    • Fun.
    • Also upcoming: …
    • Yeah, okay, I looked at my Kindle library and it’s running over with samples and other things I don’t remember getting.
    • …
    • I considered listing them, but there are probably 15.
    • Well, hell with it.
    • “Modern Divination” by Isa Agajanian
    • “Nettle & Bone” by T. Kingfisher
    • “Doorways in the Sand,” Roger Zelazny
    • “The Fourth Consort,” Edward Ashton
    • “An Easy Death,” Charlane Harris
    • “This is Your Brain on Music,” Daniel T. Levitin
    • “Written on the Dark,” Guy Gavriel Kay
    • “Practical Demonkeeping,” Christopher Moore
    • “The Original,” Brandon Sanderson & Mary Robinette Kowal
    • “The Raven Scholar,” Antonia Hodgson
    • “In the Garden of Beasts,” Erik Larson
    • “The Ophiuchi Hotline,” John Varley
    • “The Bone Season,” Samantha Shannon
    • And that’s just the stuff on the Kindle.
    • Not the paper books I have laying around.
    • And that’s not the whole “now reading” list.
    • A couple of those I already bought, so they aren’t samples.
    • A few are on Kindle Unlimited.
    • Authors get paid by the page on that?
    • (I didn’t even look into it when I pubbed that short story.)
    • I’m sure Amazon pays less now, or has jacked up the system.
    • When I published that short story, I feel like Amazon got much more of the 99 cents than I did.
    • The ratio was better if you charged at least $1.99, I think?
    • Again, the creatives doing the work, some other entity profiting from it.
    • Shocking!
    • Shocked!
    • Stunned!
    • …
    • I gotta stop.
    • We have Ironheart to watch.
    • Back tomorrow …
    • …
    • …
    • Yeah, I did not get this posted before I went to bed.
    • Going to post it now and then get on with today’s.

  • Short-Term Memory Issues

    Short-Term Memory Issues

    • Favorite cover of a song.
    • Go!
    • I don’t have favorites of anything, really.
    • I like lots of things, and depending on the mood, sometimes something climbs to the “favorite” spot.
    • Ephemeral Favorites.
    • I’m overusing that word.
    • Was listening to Ruelle’s cover of “Where is my mind?”
    • Was playing when I started typing, anyway.
    • Last night, I started thinking about writing.
    • I know, I know.
    • But specifically, scripts and books in terms of paychecks.
    • When a movie gets made, for instance, they’ll pay the actors millions, even cutting them into the profits of the film.
    • RDJ got north of $75 million for Avengers: Endgame, I think I read somewhere.
    • The Director gets his millions.
    • The writers, however, the people who come up with the story, get a pittance in comparison.
    • “For WGA members, the minimum for a first draft screenplay is around $106,000, and rewrites and adaptations start at approximately $54,000.”
    • What the actual F.
    • Without the writing, without the idea, you have nothing.
    • I don’t deny acting talent, but c’mon, those people get paid because they’re pretty.
    • Now’s a good time in history to be pretty.
    • Always better to be pretty.
    • It’s another inherent bias.
    • Back on topic: Not everyone can write worth a damn.
    • How is it they are always underpaid?
    • Started thinking about this because one of the guys in the clan shared an article about the death of SEO and the responsive rise of authentic influencers.
    • Like people writing their own content and developing a following for their ideas.
    • Followed for being thought leaders.
    • Which harkens back to the beginning of the internet.
    • Sounded nice.
    • I’m not sure I believe it.
    • I’m not sure the algorithms would let that happen.
    • Zuck has already said he wants meta products to be less about people, and more about fill your head with content generated by AI.
    • I’m not a trend guy.
    • I react negatively when we try to do things the way everyone else does them at work.
    • I write content based around the idea of developing a relationship.
    • If you don’t …
    • Nm.
    • Revisiting material.
    • That happens when you’re still sitting on the couch with your laptop on your lap.
    • NP: Metallica, “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)”
    • When this song plays, I see my bedroom in the house I grew up in.
    • I remember climbing out the window to go skate the half-pipe in the backyard.
    • I remember the music as I fell asleep.
    • Again, repeating, but I used to play that tape in my Panasonic boom box on my headboard at lights out, and I’d usually be in Nevernever Land by four or five songs in.
    • Sometimes, Master of Puppets (album) throws me into memories, full spectrum.
    • Smells. Sounds. Sights.
    • I’ve had that a couple of times lately when I’ve been outside (without the music).
    • Catch a smell and I’m a teenager again.
    • It’s bizarre.
    • Something yesterday threw me back into leaving the house on my skateboard on a summer morning.
    • I remember those years better than my 20s.
    • Or my 30s.
    • Hmmm, I wonder why.
    • I won’t go into the work rant again.
    • I don’t have to
    • You know.
    • I wonder if our memories get worse because of rote repetition.
    • If you’re not creating new pathways, your brain falls apart.
    • “Variety is the spice of life.”
    • Yeah, might be the secret to longevity.
    • I made an “old” quip to Kaia last night at bedtime along the lines of “I’m old, my brain doesn’t work.”
    • She got onto me, told me my brain worked fine.
    • “Okay, my short-term memory sucks.”
    • I can’t even remember what I told her I couldn’t remember. 
    • Just now, I had to ask her what we were talking about that I couldn’t remember.
    • Ah.
    • Bringing the cat upstairs to her room.
    • Of course.
    • I’ve never been good at repetition of anything.
    • Boredom … it means different things to different people.
    • Some people use it when they have nothing to do.
    • I can have a million things to do and still be bored af.
    • I hate the word, but a lack of “engagement” is the thing that causes boredom for me.
    • Disinterest destroys me.
    • (Directly fueled my Internet addiction.)
    • I see it in the kid, too.
    • Another thing for which I owe her an apology.
    • Disinterest fuels procrastination.
    • And dissatisfaction.
    • “Oh, well then, do something that interests you.”
    • Would love to, except I have to work.
    • It’s already this way.
    • AI’s going to make it worse.
    • If I had to work an assembly line, I’d … think self-harm thoughts.
    • Yeah, let’s nosedive into the weekend with this subject matter.
    • As with everything, we make decisions that change our paths or keep us on them.
    • I had a therapist, when we’d talk about this stuff, he would always bring up my values.
    • Would talk a lot about choice.
    • We make choices according to our values.
    • Mine would be family and taking care of them.
    • I go to work because I need to have a paycheck to provide what I can for my family.
    • I don’t see it’s a Choice in modern society.
    • Man.
    • Okay … ah, I think Daft Punk’s Tron soundtrack is better than most their albums.
    • I don’t even want to post this.
    • I will because I’ve got time in on it.
    • Debbie downer, eh?
    • Pet peeve: fingerprints on my laptop screen.
    • Check out The Glitch Mob, btw.
    • (“Band.” Kinda. Do you call electronic artists bands?)
    • They have a couple of remixes that are spectacular.
    • Like the one of “Seven Nation Army.”
    • (Trust me, queue that one up and listen to it in the car.)
    • I’m rolling with the Liked Songs playlist again.
    • Played some Moby while I was shooting up my antibiotics.
    • “Flower”
    • I have so many syringes I feel like a substance abuser.
    • …
    • You guys still wear watches?
    • I love watches.
    • I’ll probably never stop wearing them.
    • Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s the watch or having something on my wrists.
    • I’d roll killer bracelets, too.
    • I bought one that’s got a bunch of brass skulls on it.
    • On the left, there’s my Citizen field watch Steph got me like 17 years ago …
    • On the right, some blue/gray/navy/black friendship bracelets Kaia made.
    • I’ll never take those off, unless it’s an MRI or surgery and they make me.
    • She put little happy face beads on the second one.
    • Which is ridiculous.
    • But here we are.
    • Just a ray of sunshine.
    • Not a pocketful, mind you.
    • You thought I’d forgotten.
    • Try this one: “Disparate Youth,” Santigold.
    • When you text, typos ruin the joke.
    • Every time.
    • Especially when you’re making fun of someone or something.
    • Running long today because I’m sitting here typing.
    • Lists aren’t narratives.
    • Should’ve stopped after the sunshine shit.
    • Ah well.
    • Thanks for stopping by.

  • Sausage … No, nm. Not Doing That.

    Sausage … No, nm. Not Doing That.

    • Always start off with the most ineffective opening line you can.
    • That gives readers a ready excuse to bail.
    • “Nah, man, that first line was boring as fuck. Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
    • A lot of my opening bullets are crap.
    • Because I’m trying to get my brain working.
    • My fingers moving.
    • Why do I not go back and delete them?
    • I have no idea.
    • Half the time, I don’t edit at all.
    • Though I have started in the aftermath of the John McClain (McClane) fiasco.
    • Typos make you look dumb.
    • Or that you don’t care.
    • Honestly, the truth about typos is … even sometimes when you reread, your brain fixes the typo and you don’t notice it.
    • I read once that as long as the word is the right length with the right letters, your brain knows what the word is.
    • Madness if true.
    • Brains are cray.
    • Srsly.
    • (No, I don’t know why I’m doing that.)
    • (Trying to be clever.)
    • (Hahaha … ha .. F.)
    • I planned on opening with an excuse, because I almost didn’t do a list today.
    • Was one thing after another, including, and this is my favorite, taking my car back to the shop … again.
    • I got it back yesterday.
    • After having to take it back a week and a half ago.
    • After it having been gone for two months.
    • Don’t buy a WRX is what I’m saying.
    • They’re growly.
    • They have manual transmissions.
    • They’re pretty reliable if you don’t drive them like a 20yo.
    • However.
    • If they break.
    • If they break bad.
    • You’re focked.
    • Got it back yesterday, or maybe the day before, and did not realize the a/c was not cool on the driver’s side of the car.
    • The passenger side, yes.
    • Worked before I took it in to have the motor replaced.
    • And today’s heat index was in the 100s somewhere.
    • Sigh.
    • I’m worn out by this.
    • Car-less again.
    • And not from being … careless.
    • …
    • I have always been a pepperoni pizza guy.
    • Don’t get me wrong, as my tastebuds have died off, I’ve tried lots of other pizzas.
    • Love a good supreme, as long as you don’t screw it up with olives and fungus.
    • A couple weeks back, I ordered a thin-crust sausage from Hideaway.
    • I am abdicating my membership in the pepperoni club, effective immediately.
    • Those red bastards are not shunned, but after decades, they have lost the top spot.
    • Also, no more of those “normal” or hand-tossed crusts.
    • Right out.
    • Thin is in.
    • (For eating, not for being, because until the prednisone is gone, I can’t do that.)
    • Soon.
    • Yes, I know I wrote about pizza like two weeks ago.
    • A week-and-a-half ago?
    • Man, I’m oldish.
    • Repeating yourself is an age-earned badge of pride.
    • …
    • Finished up the fifth Dungeon Crawler Carl book.
    • It’s good stuff.
    • I’m still only halfway through the latest Hunger Games prequel.
    • And I downloaded a bunch of samples yesterday.
    • Because I’ve been reading a lot on “house arrest.”
    • (Procrastination, right?)
    • Here’s the thing.
    • If you’re not doing a lot, experiencing a lot, reading a lot, you have jack to write about.
    • Like a lot of music talk because that’s what I’ve been doing.
    • A lot of viewing discussion, because that’s what I’ve been doing in the evenings.
    • We finished “Ginny and Georgia” today.
    • Latest season.
    • Well done soap, really.
    • Like I said yesterday, if you’re in the room, it is hard not to pay attention.
    • If it’s bad, it’ll drive you from the room.
    • If it’s not, you’ll get sucked in.
    • We typically do delayed gratification with shows we like, even when they release the whole season at once.
    • Did that with Dept. Q, too.
    • Though … it might be about choice, too.
    • Like, we watched the latest episode of Murderbot 20 minutes ago, and those things are only 24 minutes long.
    • Every ep has been good so far, to the point when they end, we kinda want to throw popcorn at the screen for it ending too soon.
    • (We don’t have popcorn, typically.)
    • I mean, what’s with the AMC not letting you go to concessions and not buy a $10 bucket of popcorn (that only costs them >$.50 to make)?
    • Used to, you could do that.
    • Not anymore.
    • Lame.
    • May switch allegiance to Cinemark.
    • Back to Cinemark.
    • I worked at a Cinemark for three (four?) years.
    • Good memories.
    • Could write one of those ‘90s movies like Empire Records about the gang we had there.
    • The Neon bowties … no.
    • There’s a legit reason I hate ties, is what I’m saying.
    • Also another legit reason I get obsessed with movies though that has waned a bit recently.
    • “Back in my day,” he said, raising his wrinkled fist at the heavens.
    • Part of my day I spent at the hospital listening to a presentation on hip and knee replacement surgeries.
    • Not for me, obviously.
    • “That would be more than I could bear.” – Doc Holiday
    • As I listened, it occurred to me how much medical science has advanced.
    • Have your hip replaced, walk the same day.
    • Now, if only we could, you know, afford that without being shackled to some kind of insurance …
    • Healthcare for all, perhaps?
    • Anyway …
    • …
    • Well, that totally derailed my train of thought
    • Squirrel!
    • No, seriously, we should have universal healthcare.
    • Don’t believe the corporate bullshit.
    • Bamboozled.
    • No, I’m not trying to end this in a political debate.
    • Besides which, that one should not be up for debate.
    • …
    • A car without A/C on a day like today.
    • Gross.
    • First the weather.
    • Then myself.
    • And now it’s shower time.
    • After the meds, anyway.
    • Out!

  • Use It

    Use It

    • Back in creative writing, Vollertsen demanded we cleanse our writing of cliches, and rote turns of phrase.
    • Like I said, I probably learned more about writing from him than I did any of my instructors in college.
    • Weaver told me I needed to use bigger words.
    • “Shibboleth”
    • Irrelephant.
    • The one I’m about to throw down, well, we need to discuss it.
    • “Use it or lose it.”
    • …
    • Before I get started on that, it occurs to me these lists contain a bit of oversharing.
    • Some hacker’s out there reading the blog and adding that to my data file.
    • I mean, I don’t have any money anyway, so … good luck, buddy.
    • I also don’t base my passwords on personal info.
    • But yeah, oversharing.
    • Part of the “healing” portion of this show, which I’ve mentioned, is that I can only walk while I have the PICC line in.
    • My days are spent on the couch, more or less.
    • Lots of writing. Lots of reading.
    • But not a lot of activity.
    • I can feel the muscle leaving my body, my resting heart rate climbing.
    • I dislike it.
    • I know the antibiotics are killing the thing in my head.
    • The area around the PICC is inflamed as hell.
    • They used a different dressing yesterday that’s supposed to be a little nicer to the skin.
    • Seems to be working.
    • Anyway, I have a bad back.
    • Have had since eighth grade.
    • Threw it out playing soccer.
    • And up until the pandemic, it went out two or three times a year.
    • Like, pick up a sock, back’s out.
    • I tore the meniscus in my right knee at one of Kaia’s soccer practices.
    • Did PT for it.
    • The PT doc (and I can give you a referral if you need it) told me I tore up my knee because my hips, core, and ankles were jacked.
    • Knee had to deal with more than it should’ve.
    • PT fixed all of it.
    • Like, if PT were a religion, I’d be a zealot.
    • He did tell me I had to do my take-home exercises for the rest of my life.
    • I’ve been good about it until this surgery nonsense when they told me I couldn’t do anything but walk.
    • Never again.
    • I am never letting this level of unfit happen again.
    • Thinking about starting Tai Chi when I get cleared.
    • In addition to running, biking, and weight lifting.
    • I have advisors and training partners standing by.
    • I’ll start a blog.
    • Another blog.
    • A different blog.
    • Maybe one that makes money?
    • On the server, we continued that music/podcast/audiobook conversation from yesterday.
    • Crazy how different we all are.
    • Someone commented they can’t listen to music they like/know when they’re working because they end up singing the song.
    • I was like, “Yeah, I used to fall asleep to ‘Master of Puppets.’”
    • Someone else dropped what podcasts they listen to.
    • Which made me think about using podcasts and books as personality profile components.
    • What podcasts would I even listen to?
    • Can my a.d.h.d. brain focus?
    • I did listen to a Brene Brown book once on a trip to Texas.
    • It was spectacular.
    • I wouldn’t even know where to start to find favorite podcasts.
    • And here I am thinking about starting one.
    • Well, a few.
    • I saw an article from The New Yorker about how reading is changing.
    • AI is going to fuck up everything.
    • Is fucking up everything.
    • There’s already studies about how much of a negative impact AI has on the brains of writers.
    • Idiocracy is here!
    • Anyway.
    • Pocasts.
    • I don’t even know what I’d listen to.
    • Weird that I’d make one before listening to one?
    • I actually had notes for today’s list.
    • I didn’t want a repeat of yesterday.
    • The sad part of that is my journal for the last two or three months is just full of bulleted lists of topics for the bulleted list.
    • I haven’t properly journaled but once or twice.
    • When I was down in a hole and had to get it out.
    • Paper therapy.
    • I believe in journaling as much as therapy, but it’s another habit you have to establish and stick to whether you want to or not.
    • All that self-help stuff about habits determining the course of your life …
    • I feel they’re right.
    • That’s why I’m here, after all.
    • Where was I?
    • Oh, right.
    • Music.
    • Ha.
    • I’d forgotten about all those Lofi mixes I’d listen to on Youtube back during the pandemic (and beyond).
    • I guess I’ll have to track some down on spotify.
    • I’m not paying for another service and I’m sure as hell not suffering through commercials.
    • I often laugh at the fact that I write commercials for a living and can’t stand them.
    • Most people suck at marketing.
    • They do it to do it, and to be clever, but don’t consider the psychology of it.
    • Most of them are just checking boxes.
    • Then again, that’s kinda modern work, isn’t it?
    • Check those boxes, get to pay your bills!
    • One of the parts of our conversation post “The Life of Chuck” was screenwriting.
    • I told the kid she might be happier writing screenplays because you can knock those out much faster than books.
    • Talked about my screenwriting class in college.
    • I actually still have the screenplay I wrote for my final.
    • It’s in a box with a bunch of creative writing assignments from college, a couple of my journals from creative writing in high school, and …
    • You remember when I talked about writing sequels to “Friday the 13th” in sixth grade?
    • There are two of those in the box.
    • I don’t know how or why I still have them, but I do.
    • I’m afraid to read them.
    • Kinda.
    • But also kinda proud?
    • This is what I’m supposed to have been doing all along.
    • I guess that’s good?
    • Do we do what we’re good at, what we’re passionate about, what we’re interested in, or do we just do whatever industry says we should because that’s what it needs?
    • Make money, friends, so you can buy back your … freedom.
    • Sure.
    • Have a Wednesday!