- What a long, strange week that was.
- And now we sit on the Wall of Trepidation, the Precipice of Return.
- I haven’t missed work.
- I didn’t think I’d be out this long, but … apparently recovery from a craniotomy and treatment of a brain growth takes longer than you expect.
- Even sick, even with all the health nonsense wrapping up, I enjoyed my time of freedom.
- It gave me perspective.
- I won’t get into that because some of my TCC people are on here.
- But once you’ve had daily freedom for a substantial amount of time, combined with a nearish-death experience, well …
- Epiphanies occur.
- I had two for my book, for instance.
- One of them means I have to go back and rewrite almost every interaction between my two mainish characters.
- The other is probably for book two, but … might make it into this one.
- Then there were the self-revelations.
- The elation of not being told what to do.
- (I cannot overstate the feeling of that; I could do so much more without that in my life.)
- Sigh.
- At least I’m returning triumphant.
- The enemy might be vanquished.
- Or it might be regrouping like Sauron, the eye ever watchful.
- We’ll wait and see.
- I’ll battle my hope, keep it battened down.
- I’m not sure if I’ll have time to continue the Black List here.
- Okay, that’s horseshit.
- I’ll fit it in.
- It might not be every day.
- I need it to be every day.
- Good habits are only good if you keep them.
- Another aspect of my return to work, especially as it relates to this … I’m not sure I want to go back to writing sanitized versions for work.
- Sure, that’s where this all started.
- And most of what I write here is fine.
- But I like the NSFW bits.
- I like not censoring myself.
- Though, frankly, I have still avoided politics and I’m not sure why.
- I have a list of unrelated-to-work To-Dos.
- Get the LLCs done.
- Get the mic I need for the podcasts.
- Get the websites built.
- Get the merch train rolling.
- Keep writing.
- Get back in shape (already kinda started on that one).
- Lots to do.
- Time moves pretty fast.
- If you don’t make moves to control yours, someone else will.
- I have taken advantage of the convalescence.
- Or let it take advantage of me, anyway.
- Move it.
- Walking around last week, I lamented the fact I’d forgotten my pocket notebook.
- Things would pop into my head and … what to do?
- Sure, I could use a Notes phone app.
- But then I have to remember to check it because that’s not part of my routine.
- (FU, computer grammar police; I mean “have to,” not “must.” This isn’t a fucking period piece.)
- Here’s what I did: I emailed myself the note.
- From Gmail to my primary.
- One of them was an Insta post.
- One of them said, “Metalhead.”
- Which, yes, obviously.
- But in this instance, not what you think.
- LWIL: I have a titanium plate and screws in my head now.
- Had no idea.
- No one mentioned it before.
- Beforehand, the neurosurgeon said she’d be putting the bone they removed back.
- We’ve spent 11 weeks thinking the bone spot was just in there regrowing, fusing back with the rest of the skull.
- And she said she did that, but also … plate in my head.
- “Don’t worry. It won’t mess up any MRIs.”
- Got that, lady. Already had three of those since the surgery.
- There were other revelations in that appointment, like the size of the tissue she removed (think diameter of a dollar coin).
- Anyway.
- Metalhead.
- Accurate.
- Again.
- And literal this time.
- One of the other emails says, “311 drums.”
- The drummer for 311 is a badmotherfucker.
- So was Green Day’s.
- Sublime … isn’t.
- No, I’m not going to elaborate on that.
- At the time of this writing, Snacks is standing on my chest, Kong in his mouth, begging me to save him from Emmy.
- Because she takes his away every time, obviously.
- Nevermind he’s bigger.
- She’s meaner and more tricksy.
- Yesterday, I stood by the backdoor and watched those two take care of business, and I could feel the inferno with my eyes.
- (Steph was trying to nap, and our doors beep when you open, so … monitoring it because I didn’t let it fully close.)
- While I watched, nearly napping, suddenly I felt a touching, touching of my little toe.
- Looked down and Ginny had settled next to my foot, extending her paw to lay atop my toe.
- Then she climbed up on the couch arm and asked for pets.
- One of the cats missed me.
- The other attacked my leg because I did not hold her long enough.
- And probably for being gone for a week.
- She’s still not talking to me.
- Cat, sometimes we have to leave home for a spell.
- Doesn’t mean we’re leaving you.
- Don’t be a clawing shithead about it.
- Thanks.
- – Mgmt
- On the way home from Minnesota Monday, I put on my “Liked Songs” playlist.
- It literally played the entire time with no repeated songs.
- Well, maybe a couple, but only because I’d liked two different versions of the same song.
- I don’t think the women hated it.
- We rolled my Dad’s Subaru Forrester.
- … Okay, I have trouble reconciling that in my head.
- He’s a Chevy guy.
- It’s his first-ever brand-new car.
- I’m used to him tooling around in a GMC 4×4 extended cab, extended bed, monster truck.
- Still not sure how he ended up with the Subie.
- (His doesn’t blow holes in its engine block walls like mine does.)
- Anyway, he loans it to us for these Minnesota trips.
- It is the best road trip car ever.
- (Except for napping in the passenger seat; so I’m told.)
- Android Auto is awesome.
- Better than Apple Carplay.
- What I’m saying is … I guess I have a shitload of “Liked” songs.
- I did spend an afternoon in Minnesota adding songs to it, so there’s that.
- Want a taste?
- “Francesca,” Hozier
- A ton of Metallica songs (because I had not liked them individually).
- “Eruption,” Van Halen
- “Enjoy the Silence,” Lacuna Coil (cover of DM)
- “Santa Monica,” Everclear
- “Brain Stew,” Green Day
- “Prayer of the Refugee,” Rise Against
- “The Distance,” CAKE
- “Slither,” Velvet Revolver
- “Judith,” A Perfect Circle
- “My Hero,” Foo Fighters
- “Float On,” Modest Mouse
- “Shame,” Stabbing Westward
- “Highway Tune,” Greta Van Fleet
- “Personal Jesus,” Depeche Mode
- “Break Stuff,” Limp Bizkit
- “Even Flow,” Pearl Jam
- “Creep,” Radiohead
- “Bleed it Out,” Linkin Park
- “Hash Pipe,” Weezer
- “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” Twisted Sister
- “Song 2,” Blur
- “Let’s Go Crazy,” Prince
- “I Wanna Be Sedated,” The Ramones
- “Need You Tonight,” INXS
- “Could Have Been Me,” The Struts
- “Back in Black,” AC/DC
- And we’re stopping on that one, because it’s thematically appropriate (and sets off a whole bunch of summer memories in someone’s Camaro).
- There’s a fuckton more, obviously.
- I guess I could share it, but … feels kinda personal.
- See you tomorrow, probably.
Trepidatious
skepticlysm 
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